Rensselaer Republican, Volume 27, Number 10, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 November 1894 — OUR PLEASURE CLUP. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

OUR PLEASURE CLUP.

Mrs. Kimball (to tramp)—So yot are~veryiungry and want something to eat? Well, here r s some cold veal. Tramp—But I haven’t no fork to eat it with. Mrs. Kimball —Well, you just keep on going down that way a little further and you’ll find a fork in the road. She —Before we were married you said it would give you the greatest pleasure to gratify my every wish. He —My dear, I said your lightest wish; and I’ll do it, too. 1 ‘What I tell my wife goes!” ‘ ‘lndeed? “Yes; she takes" it to bet mother right away, and pretty soon it is everywhere.” Mr. Greathead, the landlord, says he prefers as tenants experienced chess players, because it is so seldom they move. Inquirer Does a fish diet strengthen the brain? Philosophei r —Perhaps not; but going fishing seems to invigorate the imagination. “I got even with that horrid Mrs. Prink for snubbing me on the street!" “How?” - ■ - - _< . “I went over to call just when I knew she was taking her beauty sleep and spent the afternoon.'' HE DISCOVERED THE COMBINATION.

“I don’t believe Jack loves me a$ as he ought to.” Bertha —Has he been neglecting you, dear? “Oh, dear, no. He refuses to break our engagement when he knows I could marry Mr. De Million if he would.” “Mr. Winks is a very pleasant gentleman. Is he married or single?” “Married, I’m sure.” “Did he speak of his wife?" “No, but he didn’t once forget and lean against the sofa pillows.” When Sunday comes, the tenor, l Dressed in garments new and swell, Proceeds to win a tenner With his cultivated yell. —Detroit Tribune. A hiss is llhe a bath, That you tako from the riven You can take, and take, and take. And take 'em on forever, And still 1 here's just as man^ As if you hadn’t never Took a one. —Detroit Free Press.

Uncle Wheatstraw(looking at dummy in front of clothing store —Laud sakes, Lucy, looks are awful deceivin’. Lucy —How do you mean? Uncle Wheatstraw—Who’d ever think these fellars knew enough to run a big business like this. “Poor Mrs. Blank is almost distracted; her husband i 3 very ill with some contagious trouble.” “Does she think he’ll not recover?” “I don’t know, but her new Skye terrier has been exposed.” Mrs. Fogg—Of course not! What a fool you are, David. She —Bixby appears to be quite a bright young man. I hear he acquired enough by writing to pay for his education at college. He—Yes; writing to his parents, Mrs. Kredulous —I bring my children up entirely by faith. Mrs. Switchback —So do I in a measure —that is by laying on ol hands. Mr. Fogg—And yet hardly a day passes that you do not give me a piece of your mind. C Governor Jones, of Alabama, has offered a reward for the apprehension and conviction of each individual member of the mob which hanged two nqgroes near Montgomery last week.

I wonder how this typewriter

works?