Rensselaer Republican, Volume 26, Number 52, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 August 1894 — A CLOSE SHAVE. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

A CLOSE SHAVE.

It Was Only By the Greatest lienieney That He Got Off. I got to the bank in the morning as the colored porter was sleeping out, and at the same moment a colored drayman drove up and jumped down to inquire: "Say, Moses, how long befo’ de bank opens?” The porter, who was an oldish man, leaned on his broom and surveyed the newcomer critically for a nxomeut and then asked: “Hev yo’ got anv bizness wid dis bank?” “Of co’se I hev.” “Am dat bizness to git a check cashed?” “Yes, sah.” “Kin yo’ write ye’r name on de back of dat check?" “Of co’se. Don’t yo’fink I don’t know how to git a check cashed, ’cause I do.”

“Boy,” exclaimed the old man aftr er another long look, “don’t you try to make out dat yo’ know too much! Mebbe yo’ kin write yo’ name, and mebbe yo’ dunno whar de cashier’s winder am. but don’t yo’ git to soarin’ too high! Befo’ yo’ kin git de money yo’ has got to be ’dentified.” “Yo’ knows who I am.” “Does I? Let’s iee ’bout dat. Let’s see if I knows a young man what driv’s up here to my bank slambang an’ puts his hat on his year an’ spits around an sez he knows all ’bout bizness!”

He slowly and carefully took out a pair of spectacles and adjusted them and took a long survey before saying: S — _ “Bojs what plantashun yo’ come from?” “No plantashun.” “Whar yo’ lib?” “Right yerc in town, of co’se.” “Wbrkin’ fur Mars Baker in de ile mill?” “No. Yo’ knows who I am, an’ yo’ knows dat’s nxy dray.” “Dat’s yo r dray, eh? Lib right in town, do you? I dunno ’bout dat. Heaps o’ tramp niggers cum along yere every day an’ claim to own drays an’ lib in town. Wonder if de chief of police has go down yit?” “Say, Uncle Moses, I didn’t mean no hurt!” protested the young man. “Oh, yo’ didn’t!” “No, sah, an’ I’ze sorry if I hurt yo’r feelin’s. Didn’t mean to do it, an I axes yer pardin’.” “Lemme see!” mused the old man as he looked at him again. “Cum to reckollect, yo’r name is Johnson.” “Yes sah.” “Lib next doah to me?” “Yes, sah.” “Drive a dray an’ a yaller boss?” “Yes s»h.” “Werty well, sah, werry well. When my bank opens. I’ll help write yo’r name on dat check an’ den take yo’ to de cashieF and ’dentify yo, but don’t yo’ dun prance around no mo’! Yo’ has jist had one of de clusost shaves from bein’ annihilated by yo’r liberality of pomposity dat any young man eber embraced, and yo’d better keep powerful quiet fu»" Aext fo’ weeks!”

M. QUAD.

“WHAT PLANTASHUN YO' CUM FROM?"