Rensselaer Republican, Volume 26, Number 43, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 June 1894 — A VEXED QUESTION. [ARTICLE]

A VEXED QUESTION.

The Company Could Not Agree as to the Cause of DeathNew York Herald. I “I once knevfr a man who could' drink a quart bottle of whisky of an evening and turn up for business next day with a head as clear as a bell,” said the gentleman who was drinking Apollinaris water- “He used to tell a good many famous stories of how he put old-timers under the table. He was a mighty good fellow. Yes, ” added the man m usingly “he’s dead.” “It killed him, of course,” said the man who was drinking beer. “No, he dried of dropsy. They tapped him seven times?" ‘Most men drink too much water with their whisky,” observed the man who was pouring out his fourth drink of red-eye. “A real good article of whisky should be drunk straight. There was a fellow in my = wtonosDd : whisky was like a sensitive flower, apt to be killed with too much watering. He would take from ten to twenty drinks a day and al ways be clear. Never seemed to hurt him a bit.” “He had never been to Coney island,” said, the man who took his in the shape of brandy and soda. “No—he lived and died in Chicago." After a pause, during which somebody called for another round: “Died of pneumonia. He fell in the Chicago river one night and caught cold;his system wasn’t accustomed to water, and it killed him.” “The best friend 1 ever had,” said the beer drinker, was one of the richest brewers in Milwaukee, and his motto was ‘Beer.” He was one of those fat, round, jolly men who could empty an eighth keg at a sitting— I’ve seen him do it many a time, on my sacred honor —and he always said to me “My boy, stick to beer —beer never hurt anybody.’ And I’ve stuck to it.” “Where is he now? Dead?” sarcastically inquired the two whisky drinkers in the same breath, “Died of kidney trouble, I’ll bet the drinks," spoke up the appolinaris water man. “No he didn’t. His pet dog bit him on the finger one day, and a week later he went into convulsions at the sight of a pump. It was hydrophobia.” “Gentlemen, you’ll please excuse me,” said the man who had been sipping mineral water. “I don’t believe I’ll drink anv more to-day. I don’t feel very well, anyhow.”