Rensselaer Republican, Volume 26, Number 31, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 March 1894 — Page 6

THE REPUBLICAN. GeOre E. Marshall, Editor. RENSSELAER - INDIAN/

“A false witness shall not be unpunished, and he that speaketh lies shall perish.” Cheap telephones are coming as a result of the expiration of the Bell patent. Any person can now manufacture serviceable ’phones, although there are some attachments that are still protected by patent laws. The cheapest contrivance now on the market in New York sells for 11.25 each and a complete outfit, that is warranted to work successfully, including batteries, receivers and transmitters and all connections for a five mile line, can be bought for (13.50. A better grade is furnished for sls a pair. The New York Sun wants Mr. Gladstone, as soon as he shall have had a short rest, to take a trip to the United States, and assures him a warm welcome. He would get the welcome, no doubt, but it is too late for the Fair. Gladstone missed the opportunity of his life by not resigning last September and visiting the World s Columbian Exposition while the Midway was booming. We are sorry for Glad, but he is to blame for fooling away his time on a visionary home rule scheme when ho could better have been gazing on the Peristyle from the comforting depths of a rolling chair.

An Indianapolis jury, of exceptional respectability and intelligence, numbering among its members quite a number of representative business men, impanelled to try a case against one Harry Walker, charged with keeping a gambling house, returned a verdict of “not guilty,” although the place was notorious, and the defendant when arrested had offered to plead guilty if a fine of not more than $25 was imposed, and had furnished bail for four poker players arrested in his rooms at the time of his own arrest, who were each fined $lO and costs. Law is a great science. Evidently ordinary men are not competent to wrestle with its mysteries. The phenomenal production of harvesting machinery is-one of the most remarkable phases of the wonderful progress that has marked the industrial development of the United States. America leads the world in this, as in nearly all other kinds of agricultural machinery. Vast factories are constantly in operation, whose output cannot be absorbed by the home market, but is sc .it to the Antipodes, bringing to our shores the gold and products of a foreign soil. Perhaps the largest of all these great enterprises is the McCormick Harvesting Machine Company’s works at Chicago. This great firm has just issued a beautiful pamphlet describing machines, which can be had on application to any agent of the company. To give* the reader a comprehensive idea of the number of machines made by them in 1893 a diagram is given, representing a tract of land one mile wide by one and onethird miles long, equal to a farm of 853 acres, divided into square rods. Each square rod is supposed to hold a McCormick machine, sold in 1893. To count these machines, taking one row at a time, would require more than seventeen days, and a walk of more than 426 miles. A field large enough to accommodate all these machines, cutting in a continuous line, would be equal to one-half the State of Indiana. Human enterprise and ingenuity has seldom a greater triumph than this.

Policeman Mackassy, of Indianapolis, deserves to have his name enrolled high up on th? scroll of fame, not for any deed of valor done, but for hard-headed, practical common sense in dealing with a case of plain drunk in his district. The offender, a man of family, was in his o»"n house, and became verv boister- - w s. ous. The officer dropped in and remarked that the man with the jag must go to bed or to the station house. Jag entered a demurrer. Wails of woe from the household. Finally Jag agreed to go to bed if Mackassy would undress him. Agreed to. Officer proceeded to officiate as nurse. Jag safely put to bed. Quiet reigned. Morpheus saved the cr.'ing father from a fine. Kind-hearted patrolman resumed his lonely vigils in serene consciousness of a good deed well done. Teresa Dean, of the Chicago Inter Ocean, is “doing" the California Mid-winter Fair for that paper, and has become convinced that — although she performed a similar service during the World’s Fain and

was on the grounds at Jackson Park almost every day from April to November-“ She missed very many valuable and entertaining exhibits, because she is now daily discovering wonderful things that exhibitors assure her were at the Columbian exposition, but which she failed to see or even hear of. Teresa had regarded herself as almost an authority on World’s Fair matters, and intimates that her confidence in her own superior powers of observation has been somewhat impaired by recent experiences. The acquittal of Daniel Coughlin, charged with the murder of Dr. Cronin, is almost universally condemned by the press of Chicago, and the leading papers throughout the country, that have followed the testimony closely. The St. Louis Globe-Democrat calls the verdict absurd, and intimates that the same line of reasoning would probably demonstrate that Dr. Cronin was not killed at all. In the meantime Coughlin is free and has left Chicago for permanent residence in Michigan, while the plotters who killed, cr helped to kill Dr. Cronin, remain to carry out tlhe behest of the Clan-na-Gael when it becomes necessary to further.their ends, and to again put forth the secret and far-reaching influences, to protect their tools of vengeance, as they have domain the case of Coughlin, so recently brought to a successful termination.

Constable Isaac Talbot—“may his tribe increase”—-of Easton, Mo., has attained prominence and a certain fame by reason of his resignation, which was tendered within fifteen minutes after he was sworn in. He had made great efforts to secure the office, filed his bond, took the oath, and having attained the object of his solicitude and ambition, suddenly changed his mind and returned to the Cpurt House and shed the responsibilities and cares of his great office from his shoulders. Psychologists have failed to account for the peculiar mental processes involved in the whole proceeding. His motives have remained hidden and his case is likely to remain unique, solitary, and a shining example of what a man can do and undo. Should the practice become epidemic many little “booms,” that are to-day apparently intangible and “baseless fabrics of a vision” may yet materialize into solid realities. Spring in eighteen ninety-four comes much like it has before —as the tides do ebb and flow so the seasons come and go, and the earth through space is hurled and the weather is unfurled like a string from spinning top that the small boy throws ker-flop; seed time and the gentle rain followed by the golden gran, stubble and the fallowfields, orchards with their juicy yields, autumn’s sere and yellow leaf and cold winter's storm and grief—then again comes April’s tears in the rushing tide of years. Man looks on and vainly sighs for the vanished years and tries to recall the joys long fled and the faces of the dead —but each whirl of this old ball wafts him on beyond recall, and at last the Reaper grim with his scythe reaches for him, and he falls like stalk of grain meets its length upon the plain. So the seasons come and go, so man’s lot is here below —time and change and joy and sorrow, luck to day and fate to-morrow, follow as a string’s unfurled as old earth through space is hurled.

His Way of Marrying.

St. Loufs Globe-Democrat. “’Squire Peter Tinney was for many years a justice of the peace in Tazewell county, 111., said S. B. Clark, of Peoria, to the corridor man at the Laclede. “He was noted for his eccentricities, and achieved a wide-spread reputation for his pe culiar rulings while trying lawsuits. It is said that w’hen first elected to the office of justice of the peace he had never been in a court room in his life. As he would be called upon to decide cases, he concluded to visit the Circuit Court and learn the form. It so happened that he entered the court room just as the judge was about to sentence a convicted murderer to be hanged. 'Squire Tinney listened attentively to the form and went home. A few days later he was called upon to marry a couple, the first case that had come before him. He read the usual form from a copy of ‘Hains’? Legal Adviser and Justices’ Handbook’, and closed the ceremony by saying, ‘Stand up, young man. Have you anything to say why the sentence of this court should not be passed upon you? Then $2 and costs, young man. and may God have mercy on your soul.’ ” Professor George Martin Lane, who has just retired from the Pope professorship of Latin in Harvard on account of old age, has achieved fame in two directions, namely, as one of the greatest Latin scholars this country has produced and as the author of the college song, “The Lone Fish Ball.” He perpetrated the ditty at a meeting of the Har vard faculty as a joke on one of hW colleagues. In some way the song got out and at once became the rage

EASTER MOOS.

“I Am the Resurrection And the Life:” Appropriate Sermon and Ceremonies at the Brooklyn Tabernacle—Dr. Talmage’s Easter Sermon. The Easter services at the Brooklyn Tabernacle were attended by profuse flora! decorations and a musical programme of unusual, excellence. In the forenoon the Rev. Dr. Talmage delivered an eloquent sermon on “Easter in Greenwood,” the text being taken from Genesis xxiii, 18. “And the field of Hebron, which was in Machpelah, which was before Mamre;the field, and the cave which was therein, and all the trees that were in all the borders round about, were made sure unto Abraham.” Ho said: Here is the first cemetery ever laid out. Machpelah was its name. It was an arborescent beauty, where the wound of death was bandaged with foliage. Abraham, a rich man, not being able to bribe, the king of terrors, proposes he re as far aspossible to cover up the ravages. He had no doubt previously noticed this region, and now that Sarah,his wife, had died —that remarkable person who at ninety years of age had born to her the son Isaac and who now, after she had reached 127 years, had expired Abraham is negotiating for a family plot for her last slumber. Ephron owned this real estate, and after, in mock sympathy for Abraham, refusing to take anything for it, now sticks on a big price—4oo shekels of silver. The cemetery lot is paid for, and the transfer made in the presence of witnesses in public, for there were no deeds and no halls of record in those early times. Then in a cavern of limestone rock Abraham put Sarah, and a few years after himself followed, and then Isaac and Rebekah, and then .Jacob and Leah. Embowered, picturesque and memorable Machpelah! That ‘ 'God's acre” dedicated by Abraham has been the mother of innumerable mortuary observances. The necropolis of every civilized land has vied with its metropolis.

All the world knows Of our Greenwood, with now about 270,000 inhabitants sleeping among the hills that overlook the sea. and by lakes embosomed in an Eden of flowers, our American Westminster Abbey, an Acropolis of mortuary architecture, a Pantheon of mighty ones ascended, elegies in stone, Iliads in marble, whole generations in peace waitIr.g for other—generations to join them. No dormitory of breathless sleepers in all the world has so many mighty dead. At this Easter servic e I ask and answer what may seem a novel question, but it will be found, before I get through, a practical and useful and tremendous question. What will resurrection day do for the cemeteries? First, I remark it will be their supqrnul beautification. Ax certain seasons it is customary in all lands to strew flowers over the mounds of the departed. It may have been suggested by the fact that Christ’s tomb was in a garden: And when I say a garden I do not mean a garden of these latitudes. The late frosts of spring and the early frosts of autumn are so near each other that there are only a few months of flowers in the field. All the flowers we see to-day had to be petted and coaxed and put under shelter or they would not have bloomed at all. They are children or the conservatories. But at this season and through most of the year the holy land is all ablush .with floral opulence. “Well, then,” you say, “how can you make out that the resurrection day will beautify the cemeteries? Will it not leave them a plowed up ground? On this day there will be an earthquake, and will not this split the polished Aberdeen granite as well as the plain slab that can afford but two words —‘Our Mary’ or ‘Our Charley?’” Well, I will tell you how resurrection day will beautify all the cemeteries. It will be by bringing up the faces there were to us •once and in our memories are to us now more beautiful than any calla lily and the forms that are to us more graceful than any willow by the waters. Can you think of anything more beautiful than the reappearance of those from whom we have been parted? Ido not care which way the tree falls in the blast of the judgment hurricane, or if the plowshare that day shall turn the last rose leaf and the last China aster, if out of the broken sod shall come the bodies of our loved ones not damaged but irradiated. The idea of the resurrection gets easier to understand as I hear the phonograph unroll some voice that talked into it a year a<ro, just before our friend’s decease. You touch the lever, and then come forth the very tones, the very song of the person that breathed into it once, but is now departed. If a man can dothat.' cannot Almighty God, without half trying, return the voice of your departed? And if he can return the voice, why not the lips, and the tongue, and the throat that fashioned the voice?> And if the lips, and the throat, and the tongue, why not the brain that suggested the words? And if the brain, why not the nerves, of which the brain is the headquarters? And if he can return the nerves, why not the muscles, which are the less ingenious? And if the muscles, why not the bones, that are less wonderful? And if the voice, and the brain, and the mus-

cles, and the bones, why not the entire body ? If man can do the phonograph, God can do the resurrection. We never lose our identity. If God can and does sometimes rebuild a man five, six, ten times in this world, is it mysterious that he can rebuild him once more and that in the resurrection? If He can do it ten times I think He can do it eleven times. Then look at the seventeenyear locusts. For sevenreen years gone, at the end of seventeen years they appear, and by rubbing the hind leg against the wing make that rattle at which all the husbandmen and vine dressers tremble as-the insegtile host takes up the march of devastation. Resurrectisn every seventeen years; a wonderful fact. Another consideration makes the idea of resurrection easier. God made Adam. He was not fashioned after any model. There had never been a human organism, and so there was nothing to copy. At the first attempt God made a perfect man. He made him out of the dust of the earth, If out of ordinary dust of the earth and without a model God could make a perfect man, surely out of the extraordinary dust of mortal body and with millions of models God can make each one of us a perfect being in the resurrection. Surely the last undertaking would not be greater than the first. See the gospel algebra —ordinary dust minus a model equals a perfect man; extraordinary dust and plus a model equals a resurrection body. Mysteries about it? Oh, yes. That is one reason why I believe it. It would, not be much of a God who could do things only as far as I can understand. Mysteries? Oh, yes; but no more about the resurrection of your body than about its present existence. I do not believe that there are fifty persons in this audience who are not tired Your head is tired, or your back is tired, or your foot is tired, or your brain is tired. Long journeying, or business application, bereavement, or sickness has put on you heavy weights. So the vast majority of those who went out of this world went out fatigued. About the poorest place to rest in is this i world. Its atmosphere, its sunsi roundings, and even its hilarities are i exhausting. So God stops our earthly life, and mercifully closes the eyes, and more especially gives the quiescence to the lung and heart, that have not had ten minutes’ rest from the first respiration and the first beat. If a drummer boy were compelled in the armv to beat his drum for twent-four hours without stopping, his officer would be court-martialed for cruelty. If the drummer boy should be commanded to beat his drum for a week, without ceasing, day and night, he would die in attempting it. But under your vestj ment is a poor heart that began its drumbeat for the march of life thirty or forty or sixty or eighty years ago, j and it has had no furlough by night ; or day, and whether in conscious or comatose state it went right on, for if it had stopped seven seconds your life would have closed. And your heart will keep going until some time after your spirit has flown, for the auscultator says that after the last expiration of lung and the last throb of pulse, and after the spirit is released, the heartTkeeps on beating for a time. What a mercy, then, it is that the grave is the place where that wondrous machinery of ventricle and artery can halt! Factories are apt to be rough places, and those who toil in them have their garments grimy and their hands smutched. But who cares for that when they turn out for us beautiful musical instruments or exquisite upholstery? What though the grave is a rough place, it is a resurrection body manufactory, and from it shall come the radiant and resplendent forms of our friends on the brightest morning the world ever saw. You put into a factory cotton, and it comes out apparel. You put into a factory lumber and lead, and they come out pianos and organs. And so into the factory of nthe grave you put in pneumonias and consumptions, and they come out health. You put in groans, and they come out hallelujahs. For us on the final day the most attractive places will not be the parks or the gardens, or the palaces, but the cemeteries. But the resurrection body shall be without one weak spot, and all that the nurses and doctors and apothecaries of earth will thereafter have to do will be to rest without interruption after the broken nights of their earthly existence. Not only will that day be the beautification of well kept cemeteries, but some of the graveyards that have been neglected and been the pasture-ground for cattle and rioting places for swine will for the first timehave attractiveness given them. - This Easter tells us that in Christ's resurrection is our resurrection, if we are His, and the resurrection of all the pious dead, is assured, for He was “the first fruits of them that slept.” Renan says He did not rise, but 580 witnesses, sixty of them Christ’s enemies, say He did rise, for they saw Him after He had risen. If He did not rise, how did sixty armed soldiers let Him get away? Surely sixty living soldiers ought to be able to keep one dead man! Blessed be God! He did get away. There will be no doorknob on the inside of our family sepulcher, for we cannot come out of ourselves, but there is a doorknob on the outside, and that Jesus shall lay hold of and opening will say, “Good morning! You have slept long enough! Arise, arise!” And then what a flutter of wings, and what flashing of rekindled eyes, and what gladsome rush-

ing across the family lot with criei of “Father, is that you?” “Mother, is that you?” darling, is thal you?” “How you have all changed!* The cough gone, the croup gone, the consumption gone. paralysis gone, the weariness gone. Come, let us ascend together! The older ones first the younger ones next! Quick, now, get into line| The skyward procession has already started! Steer now by that embankment of clouds for the nearest gate!” Farewell, dissolving earth! Bui on the other side as we rise heaven at first appears no larger than youi hand. And nearer it looks like a chariot, and nearer it looks like a throne, and nearer it looks like a star, and nearer it looks like a sun, and nearer it looks like a universe. Hail, scepters that shall always wave! Hail, anthems that shall always roll! Hail, companions never again to part! That is what resurrection day will do for all the cemeteries and graveyards from the Machpelah that was opened by Father Abraham in Hebron to the Machpelah yesterday consecrated.

A WEALTHY BROTHER CAME.

James Renan Found in ethe Poor House After a Long Separation. Indianapolis Journal. March 14. James Renan, at one time an employe of Kingan & Co., was admitted to the county poor farm on Feb. 14. He had been there but a short time when it developed that he was a victim of quick consumption. He realized his condition. He had been a roving character for years, and his friends and relatives had not heard from him during that time. Nevertheless, Renan thought that a friendship of the gone by days might still exist, and accordingly wrote to Julia Rabbit, a sister who resides in Pittsburg, telling her of his condition. She answered that she had notified a brother who was living in the oil fields of Pennsylvania and who was very wealthy. The wealthy brother at once telegraphed to Superintendent Yeager that he was on his way to this city. .Last Friday morning he arrived here and went directly to the farm. The two brothers wept as children in each other’s arms. Their brotherly feeling had not vanished in the twenty years of separation. The brother at once made arrangements to take Renan to his mountain home in western Pennsylvania, where they will battle with the dreaded disease. The two left here Friday night.

A GLORIOUS RIVER.

The Beautiful St. Lawrence and Its Many Quaint Wonders. Nature’s Realm. The St. Lawrence is a phenomenon among rivers. No other river is fed by such gigantic lakes. No other river is so independent of the elements. It despises alike rain, snow and sunshine. Ice and wind may be said to be the only things that affect its mighty flow. Something almost as phenomenal as the St. Lawrence itself is the fact that there is so little generally known about it. It might be inferred that not 1 per cent, of the American public are aware of the fact that among all the great rivers of the world the St. Lawrence is the only absolutely floodless one. Such, however, is the case. The St. Lawrence despises rain and sunshine. Its greatest variation caused by drought or rain hardly ever exceeds a foot or fourteen inches. The cause of this almost everlasting sameness of volume is easily understood: The St. Lawrence is fed by the mightiest bodies of fresh water on earth. Immense as is the volume of water it pours into the ocean, any one who has traversed all the immense lakes that feed it, and for the surplus waters of which it is the only outlet to the sea, wonders that it is not even more gigantic than it is. Not one drop of the water of the five great lakes finds its way to the ocean "save through this gigantic, extraordinary and wondrously beautiful river. No wonder, then, that it should despise the rain and defy the sunshine.

Two-Minute Chats With Old Jack

Harper’s Young People. “When I was a boy I wasn’t allowed no freedom o’ liberty the way you boys is,” said Old Jack. “J wasn’t gave no time for wastin,’ an’ most of my young days was spent wrastlin’ with book I’arnin’. I got teached ’most everythin’. There was joggerphy. My! how I did.study joggerphy! Couldn’t stump me on nothin’. I knowed where the torrid zone were. I knowed which were the temp’rance zone, an’ when it come to artic and antartic regions, you could of set the globe a-rollin' 'long the floor an’ I’d pick out one from t’other seven times out o’ ten. “I could bound Idyho, an' uv the products o’ Wisconsin an’ San Francisco there weren’t no beatin’ me. 'Rithfhetic, same wAy. Twicet two wus alius four with me—though I couldn’t reckon good in long diversion or frictions. Somehow I’d git my remainders with my quotients, an’ what's, two-fifths plus nine-fourths ekal to stumped me. But none o’ they was my strong p’nt. Not one uv ’em. I was smart in ’em, but not great. As my teacher says, says he, to my ma, no, ma’am, ole Jack ain’t great on figgerin’, nor likewise, says he, in joggerphyin’, but in grammar, ma'am, that son o' yours ain’t nothin’ short o’ a Naypoleon Boneyparte in short pants' An’ grammar, which I ain’t never shirked, boys, has made me what 1 are.”

ONE HUNDERD MILES AN HOUR.

A New-Fangled Locomotive Designed to Revolutionize Speed on Railways. I _________, - ~ ' _• w ; - ■: ■■— Now York World. The accompanying picture is that of a combination locomotive and saloon car, which, it is expected, will achieve a speed of 100 miles an hour. The chief advantage it will have will be the comparative lightness of the locomotive. The ordinary locomotive weighs many tons, being constructed in a complicated manner, and all of the parts being of iron or steel. The drivingwheels, for instance, in the new-fangled locomotive are extremely light, but have a very large oir-

THE PROPOSED LOCOMOTIVE SALOON CAR.

cumference,. The forward portion of the locomotive is evidently intended for the use of passengers, thereby making a saving in both weight and space. In fact, the plan of the locomotive throughout is to economize weight and space, and at the same time afford motive power sufficieni to maintain a high speed. Michael Reynolds, who for years has been chief locomotive inspector on the London & Brighton railway, designed the locomotive and car, and a Glasgow firm of engineers are doing the building.

Dr. Pynchon’s Dynamite Air Ship

Chlcago Daily Tribune Dr. Edwin Pynchon, the dentist, told the members of the Western Society of Engineers last night that the coming aerial ship would maintain a speed of 200 miles an hour and afford cheaper transportation than any method of terrestrial locomotion. Dr. Pynchon said he was the ii> ventor of an aerial ship to be propelled by the detonation of high explosives. He gave a description of aerial planes and the principles upon which they will sustain great weights in the atmosphere. He described his vessel, which he said would be similar to that now being built by Maxim, with the exception of the method of propulsion. The Doctor’s principle is the discharge of dynamite cartridges through tubes extending to the rear of the air ship. These cartridges would be discharged under a detonating plate and the electricity of the air would act in pushing tjje. ship forward. Tbs principle was the same as that of the explosion oraynamite on fixed bodies the destructive character of the discharge being converted into motive power by the atmosphere acting as a cushion. He said the steering apparatus would have to be placed in front of the vessel because of ths condensation of the air at that point. He said it would cost $1.20 a minute to move his air ship, and at the rate of 200 miles an hour it would make the expense of a passage over the ocean about SI,OOO. The vessel would carry twenty-five passengers, thus providing cheaper transportation than steamers. The address was listened to by 150 engineers.

Queer Causes of Divorce.

New York Sun. A Jersey wife secured a decision because “the husband, the defendant, sleeps with a razor under his pillow to frighten this plaintiff." A Virginia woman was set free because “the defendant does not come home until 10 p. m., and then keeps this plaintiff awake talking." A Tennessee court liberated a wife because “the defendant does not wash himself, thereby causing the plaintiff great mental anguish.” A Missouri divorce was granted because the “defendant goes gadding about, leaving this plaintiff supperless, or if he gets any he has to cook it himself." A New York man pleaded in hie petition for divorce that “the defendant would not sew on this plaintiff’s buttons, neither would she allow him to go to fires at night." ‘ The court decided that the plaintiff was entitled to a decree on the ground that this oppression was cruel and inhuman. An Ohio man has secured a divorce because, as he declared under oath, “the defendant pulled this plaintiff out of bed by his whiskers." Out in Illinois a wife secured a decree because her husband threw the baby at her when she hit him with the coal bucket for spitting on the stove. A Connecticut man got a divorce on the ground that “the defendant would not get up in the morning nor call this plaintiff, nor do anything he was told."