Rensselaer Republican, Volume 26, Number 28, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 March 1894 — OUR PLEASURE CLUB. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

OUR PLEASURE CLUB.

“Here is the loveliest house coat thai J bought for Tom, and he doesn’t seem to care for it the least bit.” ‘T can tell you how to make him ralue it above everything.” “Oh, how?” “Tell bim that you've given it iway to some poor manat the door-” “I read so often about ham actors. What part do they take?” “That of catching eggs, etc., when the audience throws them.” Clara —Going in for charity again, are you? What is it this time? Dora—We are going to distribute cheap copies of Beethoven’s symphonies union g the poor. Music is such an aid to digestion, you know. Friend —So you think English will become the universal language? Ph ilosopher— Unquestionably. There are al really in it 250,000 words, mostly from other languages, and it won’t take loDg to add the rest. Said Ato B—“I CU R Disposed to B A J.” Said B—“ Your wit, my longeared friend, Shows signs of sad D K.”

Mr. Wickwire —Prize fighting is not half the brutal thing that people think it is, if Corbett is right. He says the chief strain on the fighter is in avoiding the blows of his antagonist. Mrs: Wickwire —Is that so? I supposed that the hardest part of the work was the preliminary ingTramp —Sir, a single moment. Genial Mae —Well, my good man? Tramp—l will he frank with you. I am tired of life 1 and have determined to drink myself to death. I have exhausted my means and I Implore you to furnish the funds to complete my destruction. Genial Man (after a cgireful survey)—My good man, I regret to say that I have not $10,00(1 to spare

TRAGEDY. When Mary Hannah's Urbwf wa« done The,nef«horH all came In to see. Am! gazed and “my'd" and ‘•olid" and “ah’d” Till Hhe waa proud an proud could he. The day was mild arid the atm shone bright, So. yielding to the neighbors' talk, She thought to put the garment on And go out for a little walk. The stunning gown was donned, and then She cried for haffa day or more- - The sleeves, alas, were made so w-iue She couldn't get them through the door. —lndianapolis Journal. A WINDFALL. Ruck.

Hopeless Higgins (in great surprise)—Where did you git them funny lookin’ clothes,*Fad? Footworn Fadden —A young feller down the street there give ’em to me —he says he's jest finished his eourse at Yale College. Miss Ballet —Is this one of the machines that tells your age when you drop a nickel in the slot?” “ Yes, sometimes.” Miss Ballet —Is it out of order now? “No, but it only registers up to sixty.” ‘

WASTED—FEMALE HELP.