Rensselaer Republican, Volume 26, Number 21, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 18 January 1894 — TOPICS OF THESE TIMES. [ARTICLE]

TOPICS OF THESE TIMES.

TITLED JONATHAN. I George Ticknor Curtis, the celebrated author, iu a lengthy communication to the N. Y. Sun, protests agaist being called “Hon.” “L. L. D.,’’ “Judge,” “Col.” etc., stating that he has never held a public Of- i fice of any kind, or had a college de- ; gree of any grade conferred upon j him. He deprecates the tendency Qf Americans to confer titles upon people indiscriminately, without regard to their fitness or adaptation. Some of our embryo statesmen and ambitious clergymen who fish for titles and “honors” with a grab net would add greatly to their strength of character by a similar course. Every callow youth who has been admitted to the bar in the woolly west deems himself slighted if his letters fail to come addressed to the "‘Hon. Y. G. Noodlehead,” and if the village Weekly Wheezer fails to speak of the “brilliant forensic effort of the Hon. Y. G. N.” in his maiden speech, then —well —“stop my paper”— and the poor editor is forever squelched. Every red-faced and blushing boy who by reason of a little surplus cash and an unaccountable popularity among his fellows in secret societies rises to the rank of f'Major” or “Col.'' believes that Fame is already standing at the head of the avenue with a laurel wreath to crown the Conquering 1 •Hero embodied in his fragile form, and if be lives for fifty years he will cherish the proud title that caused his youthful heart to throb with joy. The number of obscure ‘‘D. D.’s.” whose alma maters in a fit of aberration have conferred the title that should only crown superior merit and transcendent ability upon well meaning but egotistic “Doctors” who will thenceforth feel themselves as among the “elect,” is realized by few. Possibly all this is a harmless exhibition of human vanity and weakness. It certainly is a useless one. OUR NEW SISTERS. The sisterhood of States seems likely to gain several new members during the term-of the Fifty-Third Congress. It is with the history and future of Okalahoma, however, that this article will deal. Its admission as a State seems assured. The people of the Territory are said to be rather indifferent about the inatter and are fully occupied with matters of pressing interest, without caring at present to peer into an unknown future of dignity and glory as an integral and potent part of the great American Union. Nevertheless Congress is going through the preliminary parliamentary stages necessary for the transformation, and in due time Okalahoma will be ''one of us. ” By the terms of the bill now pending Okalahoma will have two members of the House of Representatives, and, of course, two Senators. The new State will contain 23,265,709 acres, or 36,353 square miles. There are twelve States smaller than Oklahoma. Indiana has 36,350 square miles, thus ranking as a smaller commonwealth by three square miles. The population of the Territory is now believed to be about 250,000. This is a larger population than that of any other State at the time of its admission. There are now thirty banks in Oklahoma. The education- I al facilities are remarkable for such i a pioneer community, and are rapidly growing better. The climate is unsurpassed. Wheat, in 1893, averaged twenty bushels to the acre. As yet there have been no State buildings erected, but the preliminary steps have been taken to provide the necessary edifices. With the admission of Oklahoma, Utah, Arizona and New Mexico the number of States west of the Mississippi river will reach twenty-two. “Westward the Star of Empire takes its way,” to plains where nature blossoms in her virgin pride. The overflow of a .mighty people is fast transforming the wilderness into a garden. Not in our day will the problem have to be solved, but in the future, when the mighty west is subdued and settled, will the question arise, Where shall the surplus energy and vigor of the race find a congenial field?

OUR NAVAL FORCE. Manj’, thousands of people who viewed the brick and mortar battleship off the coast of Cook county. 11l nois, during the summer will be —iatt reslel with the information that five powerful modern vessels belonging to our navy are now massed ip the harbor of Rio de Janeiro. They are the Newark, Charleston, the armored cruiser New York and the double-turret monitor Miantonomah. , They are all supplied with modern methods of offense and defense and are supposed to be able to hold their own against any force that can be brought against them on the high «eas. The object of thus massing a powerful fleet of war vessels In the

harbor of Rio is not clearly aoparent. | American interests in Brazil are of [ comparatively small importance, and it is not probable that the United Stateswill-attempttointerferewith the internecine struggle now in progress in Dom Pedro's old domain. The information is interesting, however, in a general way, to Hoosiers I wtio are apt to forget that we have a ! navy that still carries the Stars and Stripes to the remotest ports of the earth. J

VANISHED GLORIES. Our idols have fallen! Our dream of beauty has ended! Our hope of further dalliance in the intoxication that so long enthralled us has forever passed away! With the destruction of the Peristyle, the Casino and Music Hall, with the practical ruin of the mountainous Manufactures Building, the glory of the Court of Honor has been so sadly marred that a visit to its once enchanted precincts would seem but mockery —a painful reminder of departed joys that never more shall gladden the hearts of those who love the The Beautiful. Like the pale and ghastly corpse of a departed friend that lies a helpless, hopeless wreck before us, wringing our hearts with dnguish as we recall the loving look or gentle word or kind caress that ever greeted us from the fast dissolving remains, so will , the wreckage of Jackson Park appeal to all the favored mortals who beheld its glory and who now behold the funeral pyre from whence ascended to the heavens all that triumph of the mind and soul that made it so complete a joy. Not for one brief year could it be spared to us, nor again a bright succession of halcyon days be given us to disport ’twixt the lake and land—amid the glamour of the waters blue, triumphal arch and columns white that held aloft to lingering view the sculptor’s art and legends that could stir the ’ heart. Alas, that to memory and the intangible record of the canvass and the graver’s art must we forever turn to see again man’s greatest triumph in our day. “Still o'er those scenes mv memory wakes, And fondly broods with miser-care; Time but the impression deeper makes As streams their channels deeper year.”

PROGRESSIVE BENEVOLENCE. The ladies—“ God bless ’em,” ol course—have a new idea. Not that a new idea is at all remarkable with the American contingent of the sex. Quite the reverse. Still church fairs, kissing bees, fish ponds, etc., have so long served to catch the elusive dollar for the furtherance of all missionary enterprises, such as whitewashing the church edifice, buying a new Bible for the pulpigt, or a new carpet for the aisles, as well as to send Bibles to the heathen to counteract the influence of the unlimited quantities of whisky going by the same ships—that an innovation on these established customs is worthy of note. And such an innovation l Should the fad become a fashion,' then, indeed, are. our troubles but commenced, and we shall see the loving maids and matrons gay “wax grey and ghastly ere their time.” The scheme is simple and deals with dimes—a ten cent ante, sc to speak—but the ultimate result, if carried to its logical conclusion, wil] bring to the church “wealth beyond the dreams of avarice.” To begin, a lady writes to her friends requesting each to remit a dime “for the good of the cause,” etc., and further asks that the friend addressed shall aid the cause by writing to her friends, making substantially the same demand; and so on, until the series oi begging letters shall reach the number of thirty—all letters and remittences to be sent to the originator of the series. It is a grand scheme, but the inventor probably had no conception of its vast possibilities. Should it ever be actually carried out to the end, the number of let ters that would have to be writ ten would reach 617.673,385,755,144! Each man, woman and child in the world would receive and answer 22,J 059 letters. The amount realized would reach $30,883,669,282,757.20. The Government would receive in postage $2,353,467,713,102.88 forever settling the pension and tarifl questions. Yes, the ladies have made “a hit, a palpable hit,” this time. If you don’t believe it, take a vaca tion and figure it out for yourself