Rensselaer Republican, Volume 26, Number 17, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 December 1893 — THE FLOWERS' BALL [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

THE FLOWERS' BALL

The Brazilian insurgents may be_ said to be “on a spree v for they have already got “Mello.” “Go to the ant thou sluggard; consider her trays and be wise. Which, having no guide, overseer or ruler, provideth Vrer meat in the summer end gathereth her food in the harvest." _____ “Blessings in disguise” are not uncommon. They are frequently arriving -iD new- and unexpected masks. All our little misfortunes might well bo classed in the catalogue of “blessings” if we could only tear aside the mask. For instance, a Michigan tTOffisn recently receiveda very old and dingy 25 cent piece in change which bore the date 1827. She thought it worthless, but the next day sold it to a coin collector for S3O. Chicago has a sermon factory in full blast in a room on the sky line of one of its big office buildings. The business is conducted “on the quiet” but is said to be extensive and profitable, nevertheless. The young man who is at the head of the enterprise is a graduate of a theological seminary, and claims to have 250 clergymen on his list, seventy-five of whom he supplies regularly each week with a ready made sermon at fee rate of 50 cents. The remainder are occasional patrons, availing themselves of the services of the Chicago establishment as their needs require. All denominations are supplied. The “factory” makes a specialty of anecdotes suitable for clergymen’s yse, and claims to do a thriving business with Methodist divines in this line. The Nemesis of a tender conscience has been following people with unshrinking vengeance for several years. Numerous acts of i estl tution have been recorded within the past twelve months, one of the most notable being that of a man in California who remitted a considerable sum to a landlord in the east for a rent debt which his mother-in-Jaw contracted some forty years ago. He was thought to have exhausted the possibilities in this line, but now comes one Harry Carner and gives himself up to the authorities at Vincennes with the startling information that he had stolen a mule in Missouri and wanted to suffer the penalty of the law for his appalling crime. The millenium is surely headed iu our direction.

It is a very common belie! that Americans as a people are degenerating physically and that the average length of life in this country has in recent years become materially shortened. Statistics, however, contradict this idea, and the columns of obituary intelligence in leading dailies of the large cities contain notices of the death of a remarkable number of aged persons. One week’s collection of items of this character in the Philadelphia Public Ledger enumerated no less than twenty-two persons who had died at and beyond the age of 80. Ten of the octogenarians were men and twelve women. The ages varied from 80. 8(5, 87, 89. 90, 91, 90. 97 to that of one woman who had reached the 101st milestone of life's journey. However, these remar ka ble years were accumnlated by the staid residents of the peaceful Quaker city, and can hardly be taken as a fair standard for the balance of the country. > A woman has written to the Eastern press that the most important result of the Columbian Exposition has been the elevation of the standard of wheat bread among the people of the West. She is of the opin ion that people who had the good fortune to sample the loaves “furnished by the Vienna and French coolfs at Jackson Park will never be satisfied to exist on the soggy loaves of the past and will “k,ick” till tbgy get something approaching ,th,e article mentioned. The probability is that the good lady is way off her reckoning, and the chances are that the loaves of our cooks will continue to be good, bad and indifferent, ac cording the state of the weather, the heat of the oven and the quality of the yeast and flour. Thb “wild and woolly west’ is progressing in a moral as well as a material wav. Probably no eastern State could duplicate a circumstance that occurred at Wiunemucca, Nev., recently. A jury was impaneled of men whose average age was 27. All were total abstainers, none smoked cigarettes, and not one used tobacco in any form. That jury should and could secure a permanent situation as a museum “freak."

There Is an olden story, ’Tis a legend, so I’m told. How the flowers gave a banquet In the Ivied days of old; How the posies gave a party onpe That wound up with u ball, How they held It in a valley, Down in “Fiowery Kingdom hall.” The flowers of every clime were there, Of high and low degree. ATI with their petals polished. In sweet aromatio glee, They met down In this woodland In the soft and ambient air, Each in Its lolling loveliness Exhaled a perfume rare An orchestra of Bluebells Sat upon a mossy knoll And pealed forth gentle music That quite captured every soul. The Holly hocked a pistil Just to buy a suit of clothes. And danced with all the flowerets But the modest, blushing Rose. The Morning Glory shining Seemed reflecting all the glow Of dawn, and took a partner— It was young Miss Mistletoe. Miss Maggie No!la from the south Danced with Forget-Me-Not; , Sweet William took Miss Pink in tow 4 And danced a slow gavotte, r Thus everything went swims mingly ’Mongst perfumed belles and beaux, nd every floweret reveled save \ The modest, blushing Rose. Miss Fuschla sat around and told, For floral emulation, fclThat she had actually refused Pj To dance with a Carnation. y The Coxcomb, quite a dandy • there,

Began to pine and mope. Until he had been Introduced To young Sliss Heliotrope. Sli Cactus took Miss Lily And ho swung her so about She asked Sweet Ppa to Cauliflower And put the Cactus out. Miss Panzy took her Poppy And she waltzed him down the line TUI they ran against Old Sun- - flowerWith Miss Honeysuckle Vine. The others at the party that Went whirling through the mazy Were the Misses Rhodo Dendron, Daffodil and Little Daisy, Miss Petunia, Miss Verbena Violet. And sweet Miss Dahlia 2. Came fashionably late arrayed In very rich regalia. Miss Begonia, sweet Miss Buttercup, Miss Lilac and Miss Clover, Young Dandelion came in late When all the feast was over. ~ The only flower that sent regrets And really couldn’t come," Who lived In the four hundred was The vain Chrysanthemum. One floweret at the table Grew quite ill, we must regret. And every posle wondered, too, Just what Miss Mignonette. Young Tulip chose Miss Orohid From the first, and did not part With her until Miss Mary Gold Fell with a bleeding heart. But ah! Miss Rose Bat pensively Till every young bud passed her. When, just to fill the last quadrille. The little China Aster. Ben Kino.