Rensselaer Republican, Volume 26, Number 16, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 December 1893 — OUR PLEASURE CLUB. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

OUR PLEASURE CLUB.

Brogan—Thim keepers at the Zoo in the park beyant do kape on insoolting tlfe Oirish. Hogan—Have they been givin’ more ave de bastes Oirish names? Brogan - No, they dar’sn’t do t hot; but I heard one ave thiin say that the bears hibernate in the cewld weather. Castleton—l hear you are engaged to Miss Biggerolle, the girl you went horseback with so much last summer How on earth did you,manage it? Summit—l couldn’t help it, old man. We were thrown together so much. » - • “I said to your bird, ‘Polly want a cracker?’ but she didn’t seem to understand me.” “Well, you see, Polly was brought up in Boston. If you had said, ‘Does Polly desire to masticate a biscuit?’ you would probably have had a different result.” ' THE WIRE GOT CROSSED.

Jenkins—Hello, is that Snipfit. the tailor’s? (Hears a voice say, “Yes ”) “Well, this is Jenkins. Say! Why in the devil don’t you send down those trousers of mine? Are you wearing them yourself?” Mrs. Nuwife —John, I’m sure I hear burglars down stairs. John—What would you do if you were in my place? Mrs. Nuwife—Do? Why tell them about the baby’s new tooth, of Bourse. “Ramble tells me he has to hump himself to get down to business now. Has he moved out of the city?” “No, he has bought a wheel," The signs of the present hard time* We see In various ways. For even the weeks of the month Are running with shorter days. “Biggs is getting 1 a better salary than ever, and yet is deeper in debt.” “That’s because his wife buys everything at a bargain.” “What makes you think this is Webster's second wife.” “Oh, he is so indulgent to her." “In what way?” “Why. he allows her to select his handkerchiefs and ties.” Teacher —Now, Carl, if I should tell you to draw a map what would be the first thing you would do? Carl —Ask you if I couldn’t go home. “Is there pretty good shooting round here now?” 1 Not to-day, but you ought to been here when the bank was robbed." “Can I kiss you?” he asked the" Boston girl after his proposal had been accepted “I do not know whether you can cr not,” she replied critically. He hesitated a moment. “May I kiss you?” he murmured. “That’s different," she responded, and he gathered them in. Hostess I suppose you are observing Lent this year, Mr. Holioway? Holloway—Yes; I’m sorry to say my only form of dissipation in Lent is dining, and dinners are always sodulL. Merchant-- Do you think I could sell much liquor among those tribes were Ito take it there? Traveler— O. no. They are very little civilized as yet. “Sorry I’ve no better quarters to invite you all to, Mrs. Quiverfull!” “Ah, you should marry Captain Sparks! If you’d get a better half, you'd have better quaaters.

George—Anyone would know that we were engaged. Ethel —How should they know that? George—Our fights often reach the dignity of engagements. Dusty Rhodes —Say, dere’s a story in de paper about a man what killed all his folks, because dey wanted him to go to work. Weary Raggles—Dat was terrible! Dusty Rhodes —Ye- es; dey oughter have knowed better. “What! Smok'ng, Fred? Thought your doctor told you it would kill you?” " ■‘So he did, and I quit. But atthe end of the week I wanted to die, so I’m smoking again.” The Harpers are said to have on hand more than $50,000 worth of accepted manuscripts. He (gazing at her jewelless ears during a temporary lull in the conversation) Why I did you never have your ears bored? She —Never up to the present time. Muley Hassen, Emperor of Morocco, is lord of life as well as lord of death to the people of his African dominion. “I am the King of kings, I am the Prince of Paradise; then obey me without a murmur as my camels do,*' runs the magnificent pretensions of tjiis ruler.