Rensselaer Republican, Volume 26, Number 16, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 December 1893 — Bridget. Didn't Like It. [ARTICLE]

Bridget. Didn't Like It.

‘•Procrastination is the thief of time,” but saves’postage stamps if applied to the matter of correspondence. “Hear instruction and be wise, and refuse it not. Blessed is. the man that heareth me, watching daily at my gates. For whoso findeth me findeth life” „ “It is folly to gild refined gold and the height of foolishness to paint the lily,” but the man who perfects a dead sure process for imparting an agreeable and lasting odor to chrysanthemums has a great future awaiting him. The weather prophets seem to have arrived at the unanimous conclusion that we are to have an uncommonly severe winter. The«sample exhibited in this latitude Dec. sth indicate that they may possibly have staggered on to the truth in some unaccountable manner. Some tender-hearted people are denouncing the all absorbing game of foot-ballas immoral, dangerous alike to life and hopes of .eternal salvation, leading the infatuated adept into all sorts of excesses and dissipations. Yet the game was introduced in America by Rev. D. S. Shafi, of Jacksonville, Ill.' This presumably pious parson organized the first regular team on this side of the Atlantic at Yale College in 1872. “The Lost Atlantis” is only a fabulous country, island or continent, that tradition says once existed between the shores of Europe and America, that a great earrthquake or natural convulsion destroyed, with all its inhabitants. The disappearance of one of the largest islands off the Australian coast recently gives a color of possibility to the fable that is far from comforting to the inhabitants of the isles of the sea.

It is said that American dyers have not as yet been able to attain the best results with seal skins, their work being far inferior to that of foreign workmen. The aristocratic dames of eastern cities when they find it necessary to have their costly sealskin cloaks repaired always send them abroad. The fur trade in New York is largely in the hands of Ger-man-Hebrews, and the traffic is carried on in all sorts of places, from private apartments to large establishments employing many workmen and large capital. People with a taste for statistics will be interested in figures bearing upon the matter of life insurance. The vast sums involved in the almost innumerable projects of socalled life insurance are realized by few. The sum total of life insurance policies issued in the world is thought to reach the enormous sum 0f512,000,000,000. Of this amount $5,500,000,000 is placedin the United States. New schemes are constantly developing and as matters now run the United States will soon have as great an amount in policies as all the balance of the world together. It is published for a fact that many well-to do citizens of Soda Springs, Idaho, made the World’s Fair trip as cattle < tenders on stock trains, receiving their passage and S2O and a return ticket as compensation for their services. Merchants and lawyers, preachers and physicians dropped their dignity for the time and saved their cash in this way. The fact is not presented in derogation, but rather as an illustration of the energetic and thrifty spirit that inspires the typical Western character. Mr. Galbreth, of Muncie, who was reported to have got out of breath very suddenly while involved in a life and death struggle with a running noose depending for its offensive qualities upon a lord of the forest in the neighborhood of an interior Pennslvania town, the same having been reported to have been lovingly applied to the Adamic protuberance projecting beneath the noble visage of the aforesaid Galbreth has returned to the magic metropolis of the gas belt with the reliable information that, to the best of his knowledge, he is still destroying the life-preserving qualities of his usual allowance of the circumambient atmosphere. Mr. K. M. Prolis, of Ceylon, connected with the Cingalese exhibit at tbo World's Fair, has established himself in business in Chicago. He will deal in East Indian jewelry, precious stones and silk embroidery, ■r. Prolis will become a naturalised

citizen of the United States, says be likes the country and hopes to make it his future home if he can stand the winters, of which he has a dread. He is superstitous, has had his fut ure foretold by a horoscope, wears a “goma” ring for luck, which he will change for a diamond at the expiration of a term of eighteen years, seven of which have passed away. All precious stones are believed by the Cingalese to bring good luck if properly worn.

It will be shocking information to many people to be told that human skulls and skeletons are regularly imported from Egypt to the United States to be ground up and sold as fertilizers. Such transactions are a travesty on civilization, and are fraught with more inherent barbarism and incipient cruelty than the most savage acts of painted aborigines, for the simple reason that they are committed by civilized men without any other object or excuse than the love of a trifling gain. “Ail flesh is grass” indeed, but we can surely raise enough grass without despoiling the graves of a vanished race or tampering with the tombs of silent centuries. If there is any spot or object on earth that should be held sacred and inviolate by all mankind it is the grave and its silent occupant. How we recoil at the thought that in some future age our own resting places and the last couch of those we have loved may be thus ravished, robbed and outraged to serve the material wants and insatiable greed of the future man. That we, “the heir of all the ages and the latest born of time” should be guilty of such barbarity almost passes belief, vet the fact is given to the public for truth by the New York Sun.

A very unique specimen of the genus “crank” made his debut into public life on the evening of Nov. 16, at New York. He rejoiced in the name of Roeth, and casually called at the famous Delmonico restaurant carrying a jag and a gun and incidentally some irrational ideas about a mission he had to reform existing evils. He began shooting in a regardless fashion and emptied his revolver to the great damage of plateglass and detriment to the nerves of the frightened guests, at the same time howling, “Down with the rich!” The restaurant was as speedily emptied of guestsrwaiters and proprietors as the crank’s revolver had been of its bullets, but officers captured Roeth after a hard fight. He was registered at the police station as G. A. Roeth, occupation stone cutter, age 28. He stated that he made $25 a week and had never suffered poverty himself, but that he had been impressed with the terrible contrast between the lavish luxury of the rich and the suffering and privations of the poor, and he had only planned his performance at Delmonico’s as a means of calling ■ the attention of the public to such conditions, without any intention of harming any one. He was remanded for trial.

Detroit Free Press. She was a young wife just married from boarding school, one of the lovey dovey order, and although educated in Boston didn’t know beans from any other vegetable. Hence this dialogue with the cook: “Now, Briddy, dear, what are wo to have for dinner?” “There’s two chickens to dress, mum.” “I’ll dress them the first thing. Where are their clothes?” “Holy Moses, mum, they’re in their feathers yet.” “Oh, then serve them that way. The ancient Romans always cooked their peacocks with the feathers on. It will be a surprise to hubby." “It will that, mum. Sure if you wans to help you could l& parin’ the turnips.” “Oh, how sweet! I’il pair them two and two in no time. Why, I had no idea cooking w.is so picturesque!” “I think, mum, that washing the celery do be more in your line.” “All right, Briddy. I’ll take it up to the bathroom, and I’ve some lovely Paris soap that will take off every speck.” “Thank you, mum. Would you mind telling me the name of the asylum where you were eddicatcd? I think I’ll have to take some lessons there myself if we be goin to work together.”