Rensselaer Republican, Volume 26, Number 12, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 November 1893 — OUR PLEASURE CLUB. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

OUR PLEASURE CLUB.

What a pity we can’t have yacht races in Kansas; we have so much wind all going to waste. —Topeka Journal. Plankington—Come out to dinner with me to-night, old man. We’ve got a new cook. Von Blumer —Don’t believe I can to-night. Won't to-morrow do? Plankington—Oh, no; she leaves to-morrow. ‘‘Tommy,’’ said his mother, “can’t you amuse your baby brother for awhile?’’ “Yes’m,” answered Tommy; “if you’ll hold him hp at the window. I’ll get the boys to come and play in front of the house. OTHER PROFESSIONALS AHEAD OF TIIE3I Puck.

First Burglar—What, back st soon, Bill? What did you get? Second Burglar—Nothin'— we’r< too late—there’s a receipted plumber’s bill on the table! —- Visitor—Don’t you get awfully tired answering questions? Columbian Guard — There is one question that has become awfully tiresome. Visitor—What’s that? Guard—The one you just asked. The melancholy days have come, the nd dest of the year, • When summer garments do not fit the brand of attneephere And most o*. n» are fo»-ed our ingenuity to range To ferret net < to get the change to inn Us th. «,M>ye. —Yonkers Gaietto. Says an exchange: “There are poems unwritten and songs unsung.” Yes, and that is what reconciles, us to life. —Texas Siftings. Sunday school teacher —I told you last Sunday that I wished each of you would try to make at least one person happy during the week. Did you? Boy—Yt« m; I made grandma happy. “That is noble. How did you do it?” “I went to visit her,and she’s always happy when she sees I’ve got a good appetite.” — Good News.

TAKEN AT HIS WORD. Fllegende Blatter.

Nursemaid (to a gentleman who has taken a seat on the bench and seems to be interested in the children she has taken charge of) —You appear to be a great admirer oi children, sir. The gentleman (flattered) —Yes, oi course. Nursemaid —How lucky! Then you can look after these for me. I’ll b< back in half an hour or so. Little Dot—Why isn't there any milk this morning? Mother —The milkman says his cows are dried up. Little Dot -Oh, Yes, of course. They is goin’ to be dried beef.— Good News. Kidder—Did it ever occur to you that in riding a bicycle you might be encouraging a certain form of gambling? Ministerial Enthusiast—Horrors, no. There’s no gambling about 8 bicyqle, is there? Kidder —Ain’t, eh? I’d just like to know if it hasn’t been a wheel oi fortune to the makers? Prisoner—l beg you, judge, not to condemn me —not on my account, but so as not to injure the prospect* of my counsel. “I passed your door last evening, Miss Gildersleeve,” remarked young Mr. Gilley. “How kind of vou,” ro x Elied the grateful girl.—llarper’i iazar.

Oscar Wilde says; “Beware ol women who wear violet.”