Rensselaer Republican, Volume 26, Number 11, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 November 1893 — OUR PLEASURE CLUB. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

OUR PLEASURE CLUB.

Two of the strangest as welLas the shortest epitaphs are “Asleep (as usual)” on the tombstone of a large individual by one who knew him well and “Left Till Called For” is carved on a gravestone in Cane Hill cemetery, Belfast, A photographer has this inscripton over his grave: “Here I lie, taken from life." “Oh, mammal” exclaimed Percy, the other day, when he saw a huge bluefish which had just been caught, “look at the poor fish trying to breathe through his ears.”—Harper’s Young People. Hobbs and Dobbs were discussing men who stammer. “The hardest job I ever had,” said Hobbs, “was to understand a deaf and dunjb man who stammered.” “How can a deaf and dumb man stammer?” asked Dobbs. “Easily enough,” replied Hobbs; “he had rheumatism in his fingers.”

Mrs. F. —Your former servant girl wants me to hire her. Is she honest and reliable? Dressmaker —I can’t say. I have sent her to you with your bill five or six times, but she has never brought me back my money. There was a dog fight in City Hall Square yesterday and the Legislalature of Idaho adjourned to see it. There is nothing mean about us.— Boise City Record. “Idleness,” said uncle Eben, “makes er man talkative. Seems laik its onpossible fur er man ter do Buffin' an’say nuffin’ simultaneously.” Teacher (hearing arithmetic class recite)—-Mike, if you should see seven birds on a tree and should shoot three of them, how many birds would remain? Mike —Nary one, mum; the rest o’ them would be afther flyin’ away.

WORTH KNOWINC Brooklyn Life.

Van Pelt —When my wife gets hysterical and begins to cry how can I stop her? Miss Wise —Tell her it is making her nose red. “Hallo, Jack, I understand you’re engaged.” “I am, old man, th the—" “Ah, yes, I know, to the dearest, sweetest little woman on earth. The one woman calculated to make you a happy home, the embodiment of your ideal, the dream of your youth." “Say, old man, how did you ever find that out? You —you don’t know her, do you?”—Harper’s Bazar.

RETALIATION. Ally Sloper’s Half-Holiday.

She—Good gracious, Charlie! whal is the meaning of this? He —Why, if you are going sos those beast|y crinolines I shall adopt peg tops and side whiskers. “Grinder is about to realize all the dreams of his life.” Snubly—Rich uncle dead? “No; his wife has graduated from a cooking school that teaches the making of thirteen different kinds of pie." Josiah —Mandy, put on your specs and see if you can find his exhibit in the guide book. Mandy—What exhibit? __ Josiah—This man Exit that has his name up at every gate an' in most of the buildin's.

Life. A SOFT THING.