Rensselaer Republican, Volume 26, Number 10, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 November 1893 — WHY HANK WASN’T HANGED. [ARTICLE]

WHY HANK WASN’T HANGED.

His Seemly Regard for Appearances Impressed the Camp. Anaconda Standard When Hank T a yl° r was put on trial at Strawberry Hill for killing Steve Brown he pleaded guilty, and in a speech to the crowd he said: “In course you’ll hang me, I expect it, and shall be disappointed if you don’t. But I want it understood right now that I hev rights.” “What be them rights, prisoner?” queried Bill Totten, who was acting as judge. “Waal, I want to be hung with a new rope. I was brought up respectably and I want to die that way, Then I want to wear a biled shirt. I was brung up to wear biled shirts, and I don’t want to disgrace the family. I want to be shaved, to have my hair combed and parted in the middle, and I insist on Zeke Cooper tendin’ me his' new butes. That’s my rights and I shall insist on ’em.”

“Prisoner, hain’t you just a little too partik’lar?" inquired the Judge. “Hain’t it puttin’ this ’ere camp to a good deal of extra trouble for no real benefit? Wbar are we goin’ to get a biled shirt, for instance?” “I dunno. but we hev got to hev one. Do you s’pose I’m goin’ to bring up in the other world with this red shirt on? They wouldn’t let me stake a claim or set up a shanty.” “How you goin’ to be shaved, when we hain’t got no razors in camp? We kin furnish you some grease and a comb, but thar kin be no shavin’.” “Got to be,” replied Hank. “I hain’t goin’over the divide lookin’ like a wolf with his winter fur on. And as fur grease I want reg’lar bar’s ile. lam bound to look just as purty as I kin.’’ “Zeke, will you , lend me .your butes?" asked the judge. “Naw I I could never feel easy in ’em!” “Then I don’t hang !” retorted the prisoner. “Mind you, boys, I hain’t denyin’ that I killed Steve, whom everybody knows was a provokin’, cantankerous cuss and orter been killed long ago, and I hain’t kickin’ as to what will follow, I’m just stickin’ out fur my rights. S’posin’ any one o’ you was going to arrive in the other world as a tenderfoot, wouldn’t you want to look fairly decent?” “That's so, that’s so,” mused the Judge. “In course, it’ll be known that you cum from Stawberry Hill, and. in course, we’ll hev a pride in fittin* you out in decent shape. The Erisoner will be removed while we cv a talk." We had a talk. We couldn’t get a white shirt, a new rope, and a razor anywhere within 100 miles. And, as Hank had observed, Steve Brown

was always saying mean things and provoking quarrels and wasn’t much account. After discussing the pros and cons, it was decided to overlook the offence und let up on Hank, but after telling him our decision, the Judge-said: “But don’t do it again, Hank. It are the opinyun of some of the boys that you were too darned particklar about the biled shirt, and of others that you were right about wantin’ to make a decent •appearance on the other shore, and so we decided to call it squar. Next time, however, we’ll hang you with a mule rope and in yer old duds and let ye run all the chances.” “Wall, boys, fix it to suit yourselves and it’ll suit me,” carelessly replied the prisoner, and court adjourned and we returned to work.