Rensselaer Republican, Volume 26, Number 4, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 September 1893 — AN INGENIOUS HUSBAND. [ARTICLE]

AN INGENIOUS HUSBAND.

A. Great Scheme to Get His Clothes^ arvoviyk hltSi-T'’■ ■—-iC “It’s strange I can’t get my wife to mend my clothes,” remarked Mr. Bridie disgustedly. “I asked her to sew the buttons on this vest thia morning, and she has never touched it.” “You asked her?” observed Mr. Norris, with a slight shrug of his shq^ilders. “Yes. What else should I do?” “You haven’t been married very long, andperhaps you’ll take a pointer from me,” remarked Mr. Norris, with a fatherly air. “Never ask a woman to mend anything. That’s fatal.” “Why, what do you mean?” ‘ ‘Do as I do. When I want to have a shirt mended, for instance, I take it in my hand and hunt up my wife. ‘Where’s that ragbag, Mrs. Norris?’ I demand fiercely. ‘What do you want the ragbag for?’ she asks suspiciously. ‘ ‘ ‘I want to throw this shirt away. It’s all worn out,’ I reply. ~ ‘Let me see it,” she demands. “But I put the garment behind my back. —* “ ‘No, my dear, there is no use of your attempting to do anything with it. It needs —” “ ‘Let me see it,’ she reiterates. “ ‘But it’s all woru out, I tell you! “ ‘Now, John, you give me that shirt!’ she says, in her most peremptory tones. “I hand over the garment. “ ‘Why, John Norris!’ she cries, with womanly triumph. ‘This is a perfectly good shirt. All it needs is a new neckband.’ “ ‘And the cuffs are ragged, too,’ I answered, mildly. “‘Andnew wristbands, and the button-holes worked over,’ she adds. “ ‘Well, never mind what it needs I don’t intend you shall bother with it. You’ll only waste your time. You’ll never get it to fit in the neck anyway,” I throw in as a final clincher. “ ‘That’s just like your extravagance,’ she cries. I’m going to fix that shirt. The idea of throwing away a perfectly good garment! I’ll fix it so you can never tell the difference.’ And she does. “That’s the wa> I get my clothes mended,’ concluded Mr. Norris. “Just tell a woman she can’t do anyt thing and then stand aside and see how quickly it is done.”