Rensselaer Republican, Volume 26, Number 1, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 31 August 1893 — Page 2

THE REPUBLICAN. * ?’ .. . . ■ “■ - ■ • _ _ V-~- : - - Gkorf E. Marshall, Editor. RENSSELAER - INDIANA

When you go to Chicago don't talk about the Midway Plai-ZANCE. If you desire to appear in good form and not attract attention by exhibiting too much provincialism, you must say Plai-zoNCE. However, if you prefer to stick to the Hoosier vernacular and insist on pronouncing the word as it is spelled, you are not likely to fail in “getting there.” It is stated for a fact that stupid people at Jackson Park continue, even to this day. and every day. to ask the Columbian guards in what building the “lagoon” is. The management should at once instruct the guards to inquire of all such persons their place of residence, for statistical purposes only. It would be interesting to know from what “neck o' woods” the majority of such ignoramuses hail.

Antwerp, in Belgium, is to have an.- international exhibition next year, beginning in May and extending to November. Plans are all perfected and the buildings are un - der process of construction. It is needless to say that the exhibition will in no way compare in point of magnitude with the World’s Columbian Exhibition. Many exhibitors now at Chicago have contracted to remove their goods to Antwerp at the close of the Fair, and nearly all the foreign attractions on the Midway will also go there. With seventeen cases of cholera in quarantine in New York and a dangerous outbreak of yellow fever in Georgia, it is the part of wisdom for people to clean up their back yards, deodorize all ill-smelling corners about their premises with lime or other disinfectants, be reasonably careful in the matter of diet and exposure to unhealthy conditions of all kinds, and in this way aid the authorities in preventing an outbreak of either epidemic in their respective localities. Our financial troubles are enough for 1893 without the addition of the threatened plagues.

Visitors to the Grand Army Encampment at Indianapolis, if they feel that they are at all “weak in the knees,” should tjake warning from the experience of Mr. McGuire, who visited the cyclorama of the battle of Gettysburg, and was so completely overcome by the terrible scene that he fell in a faint and had to be sent to a hospital. The Hoosier capital has a similar painting of the great battle, and it is said to be very vivid in depicting the horrors of war. Mr. McGuire is probably the only person who was ever completely “knocked out” by a picture, and his nerves are doubtless vxtra fine and supersensitive.

An antiquairian has recently dis covered some royal shin bones in a dust-covered paste board box at the Louvre, in Paris. From various hieroglyphics he was enabled to accurately label the relics with the names of the persons of whom they were formerly a part. Among them, as he avers, is the shin bone of Francis 1., the jawbone of Catharine de Medici, a rib of Charles VII, and a large collection of royal mementoes of like gruesome character. The royal graves were despoiled by French Revolutionists in October, 1793, but through the intervention of an inspector, the parts taken from the graves were properly labeled and secured from further ignominous treatment. Their history since that time has been traced from reliable sources, and public records find is probably genuine, and in fact was no discovery at all, as the relics might have been as readily found at.ary time in the last 100 years as any document in the public arehieves of like antiquity.

If cable dispatches are to be trusted, our financial clouds will ere long have a “silver” lining in a way unlooked for by the advocates of free silver coinage. G reat apprehension is said to exist in European financial circles over the prospect of the speedy repeal of the purchasing clause of the Sherman silver law, and the scramble for gold already approaches a panic that promises to eclipse anything of the kind that has ever afflicted the United States. It is alleged that the United States is now the only market for silver in in the world, and when the doors of our mints are closed against it gold must take its place and we are sure to get our share and more, to th? great detriment of the “blarsted Englishman.” Should this prove to be the case, the advocates of silver coinage are destined to see their dreams realized, because o-r action *n suspending silver coinage will

place us on an equal footing with foreign nations, and they will thenbe in a more reasonable frame of mind to listen to arguments in favor of a unh ersal bimetallic standard, which necessarily must be the final outcome of the continued agitation of the subject. Americans are prone to indulge in boastful praise of our system of government. We are all in the habit of' regarding our institutions as well nigh perfect and are apt to overlook some things that are startling when cSlmly reviewedr For instance: The so-called silver States cast all told 457,000 votes at the last presidential election. There are nine commonwealths under this head, and they have eighteen United States Senators. The great State of New York east 1,300,000 votes at the same election and has two Senators. This is according to the constitution and laws of the land, but it would take a very able lawyer to convince an unprejudiced foreigner that such an arrangement was just and equitable to all concerned.

One William Eliker. of Indianapolis, “entertainedangels unawares,” a few evenings since, but as subsequent events demonstrated they can hardly be ealled “angels of light.” Mr. Eliker had accumulated a surplus of some S7OO. Becoming inoculated with the prevailing epidemic — lack of confidence —he withdrew the money from the bank and secfeted it under the family clock. Quite a company being present on the evening in question, the host, suddenly recovering from the epidemic, developed a surprising amount of confidence in the mixed company present and in a spirit of bravado bantered them to find his household gains. His own sister speedily found the hiding place under the clock and exhibited the cash to the balance of the guests in triumph. The company found the discomfiture of their host very amusing. At a late hour the guests departed and the host retired, to sleep but a short time, however. He was awakened by unusual sounds and found a window sash removed, and thought he recognized one of his guests departing from the room in a hurried manner through the unusual exit. Looking at once for his money he found it gone, and at once gave the alarm. Police were soon on the track of the thieves and before the day was over four of Mr. Eliker’s gpests were behind the bars and he was once more in possession of his dollars, every cent having been recovered. The Sentinel frivolously remarked that Mr. Elicker placed his money under the clock so that he “couldget time on his bills." The matter is more serious, however, as Mr. Eliker’s illadvised desire to amuse his guests will doubtless put “time’on a number of them—in the penitentiary.

It all depends on the point of ■ view. The merits of a practical | joke are nearly always susceptible of at least two constructions. The joker is absolutely certain. of the amusing features of his performance. The victim is equally certain that his tormentor is an emissary of the lower regions where drought is the normal condition. One Casper Minor, of Indianapolis, who for years had violated the law by permitting himself to stay about his own saloon, is a victim of a huge practical joke, and he has turned on the jokers in a way they despise. Mr. Minor arose early on the day in question to serve his thirsty customers with their regular potations before breakfast, and was astonished to find that his cash drawer had been robbed of SB, numerous boxes of cigars sadly outraged, and the best liquors in the house uncorked. The matter was reported to the po lice, and developments led to the arrest of a neighboring butcher and two other young men who had previously borne good reputations. The parties admitted their guilt, but declared the entire matter was a huge joke. They had found ordinary fun too tame, and were impelled to devise something unique. They didn’t care for expenses, and before their incarceration employed a “mutual friend” to settle with Minor at any cost. The “mutual friend” was also locked up as an accomplice. The unhappy quartette still think it was the monumental joke of the season, and are convinced that Minor is absolutely the dullest, stupidest, thickest-head-ed beer-slinger in the Hoosier metropolis. If they ever get out of the scrape they might prosecute ‘ Minor, for allowing himself to stay about his own saloon. The law is explicit. That would be a joke that even the obtuse dealer in drinks could “see.”

The closing week of the life of John E. Collins, of Bimini, Montana, was quite out of the common. Within seven days he was married, divorced and had committed suicide.

TOPICS OF THESE TIMES.

' CAUSE OF THE PANIC. What has caused the financial troubles that have occasioned such wide-spread alarm and so much actual loss to thousands of our citizens? After m uch re flee tion and a careful reading of our exchanges we are compelled to lay all the blame on the Sherman silver law, the McKinley bill, the high tariff, over-pro-duction, suspension of silver coinage in India, the failure of Congress to give to the United States free silver coinage the demonetization of silver in 1873, the election of Cleveland, the proposed tariff reform, the low price of wheat, the speculation in stocks and futures, too high freight charges from the West to the Eastern sea board., lack of confidence, lack of sufficient circulating currency, exaggerated value of gold, conspiracy of the “gold bugs,” excessive imports, deficient exports, result of a long continued high protective tariff policy, faillire to adopt the Populist plans, uncertainty as to the result of the monetary conference “British Gold,” used to bribe our statesmen. That is about what caused it, and all will agree that such a load is enough to swamp any nation. Here and there a man will be found who will take exceptions to the array of impelling causes to dire disaster, but in an impartial review, such as this article is intended to be, all have a proper place and a legitimate bearing. If. any one cause more than another can justly be held responsible for the distressing financial situation, we must ask our readers to pick out their favorite calamity and stick to it. We do not care at this juncture to be invidious, and feel disposed to allow the individual the largest liberty in making achoice and locating the blame to his own satisfaction.

NO EXTORTION. No one should hesitate about visiting the World’s Fair for fear of extortion in Chicago. The array of restaurants and lodging house, hotels, furnished rooms, camps and caravansaries is almost endless, and charges are made to suit any purse. Careful selection of a stopping place and a reasonable amount of caution in spending money, will insure the visitor comfortable accommodations, plenty to eat of that that is good, and all at a total cost that will be surprising, after the stories thac have prevailed about wholesale extortion at the city beyond the Roby race track. Ten dollars should cover the necessary expenses for one person —railroad fare, hotel and restaurant bill, admission tickets, with a small extra for amusements —from central and northern Indiana, for a three days revel in the aggre-

gated wonders and marvellous attractions of the magic city of the marsh. Side shows and monkeys will come and go, and the circus business is likely to branch out in new direc tions following this great exhibition, so that if you do not feel able to squander - money on the endless round of alleged amusements on the Midway, you may yet in the course i of time have an opportunity to see and hear similiar entertainments. But “now, is the accepted time” and probably —nay, certainly —your only opportunity to see the greatest spectacular enterprise ever inaugurated by man carried to its triumphant success —and one that will never be repeated on a scale of such magnitude —in your “day and generation,” at least. It does not pay, and only at rare and long-separated intervals do men rise to the height of patriotism and go to the depth of financial loss, as have the enterprising promoters of this wonderful exposition. Therefore, we urge and advise all to go now before it is everlastingly too late, “Do not let your chances like sunbeams pass you by, for you never miss the water till the well runs dry.” ~ •, ••.

COLORADO’S CRISIS.

There has been serious trouble in Denver and throughout the mining regions tributary to that city. The decline in the price of silver finally compelled the practical abandonment of all further production of the metal and the thovsands of miners, in a large number of cases penniless, were turned loose to drift elsewhere in the search for employment, and the necessaries of life, that it was no longer possible to obtain from their former employers. Naturally they drifted to Denver, and the city soon became overrun with thousands of able bodied,starving men, unable to.find. employment and also unable to go elsewhere in search of it. The situation became desperate, and at the beginning of August measures for their relief became imperative. The parks of the city were converted into camps, and the men of wealth contributed liberally to a fund for the purchase of

food and supplies, Yet in spite of these preparations great suffering resulted. The crowd was unique and composed of all grades of humanity from the common tramp to the giant miner who had squandered his wages recklessly, and the young man lately arrived from the East “to see the West.” Hundreds of miners bitterly confessed to their own improvidence, stating that they had for years been making from $3 to $4 per day, and had squandered it recklessly without any attempt to save for a rainy day. Their pride was completely broken down as they accepted their rations thankfully. Several cases of fainting in the line while waiting to be served occurred, and investigation showed that the men had not tasted food for several days. As fast, as transportation could be obtained the men departed for various places in the East. Strange as it will appear there was but little lawlessness and scarcely any brawls or fights. Good order was the rule, which Of itself was a substantial evidence of

the good character of the majority of the men. The question where to go to find work was a matter of grave consideration. Indiana’s prodigal sons were numerous, and one was heard to say: “I tell you what I am going to do. lam going back to old Indiana where my old friends are, and ask them to help me.", Hoosiers think they are having pretty hard times themselves, nowadays, but such scenes as these have not afflicted any of our centers of population as yet, while great plenty is the rule in our rural communities. Few will doubt that the starving miner referred to found a generous welcome to a bounteous feast on his return. Yet Colorado is not alone in the matter of improvident laboring men. The better paid artisans and laborers in our own Hoosier cities are notoriously prodigal in the disposition of their incomes, and a very small percentage of these classes could maintain themselves for a single month in case they were suddenly deprived of their regular employment. If the financial troubles of the time shall duly impress this class with the importance of a radical change in their manner of life, the calamities that have afflicted us will not have been altogether without recompense.

Josh Billing’s Philosophy.

It ought tew kure enny ov us ov pride and ambishun when we reflekt that the grave duz not more effektually hide our boddy than it duz our memoriz. He is ritch whoze welth satisfys his wants and "he iz poor whoze welth don’t. Adversity haz the same effekt on a man that a kold time has on the arly -grain; it checks it at the top and makes it take root.

Ridikule has no power aginst truth and it won’t have aginst pholly unless it iz honestly and smartly did. Take the people all out ov it and this world would be a deliteful plase to liv. A man lost tew shame iz no wuss than a brute. A woman lost tew shame is no better than a fiend. The only way tew convince a phool iz to out talk him. Satire that is seazonable and just iz often more effektual than law or gospil. I don't serpoze thare haz been over 80 sekrets kept in fust hands since the daze of Adam. Lazy men are alwuss konseited kritters. A man’s imaginashun is like a vine; if he don’t set up a pole for it tew klimb it will run oph into all sorts ov twistifikatedness.

We All Feel That Way.

Detroit Free Press. “Hello!” he called to an acquaintance whom he had not seen for two or three weeks, “been away?” “Yes.” “Take your fishing tackle along?” “Yes.” - _■ “Have a good time?” “Yes.” “That’s nice! Where’d you go?” “Up North.” “What was the weight of your largest fish?” “Didn’t catch any.” “Was the wind wrong?” “No.” ‘ ‘Too early or too late in the season?” “No.” “Lose all your tackle before you got there?” • “No.” “You got a few big bites?” “Not a bite.” “Other fellows caught fish up there?” “No, not a fish.” “Um! That’s queer! Why didn’t you catch any fish?” “Because 1 was in the pine woods, fifteen miles from the nearest creek. In fact, the well at the hotel was almost dry.” “But you—you had a few nibbles?” persisted the man. “No, I didn’t have my tackle out at rll.” “Humph! Fifteen miles from the nearest fish?” “Yes.” “Well, there are some mighty queer people in this world! Not even a nibblel Good-day, sir!”

A UNIQUE THEME.

The Alleged Usefulness of Adversity. Ancient Tear Jug»—Lachrymatories Used in King David's Day—Comfort for, ~ Afflicted. Rev. Dr. Talmage preached at Brooklyn, last Sunday. Subject: “A Bottle of Tears.” Text: Psalms. Ivi, B—“ Put8 —“Put thou my tears into thy bottle.” The prayer of my text was pressed but of David's soul by innumerable calamities, but it is just. as appropriate for the distressed of all ages. Within the past century travelers and antiquarians have explored the ruins of many of the ancient cities, and from the very heart of those , buried splendors of other days have been brought up evidences of customs that long ago vanished from the world. From among the tombs of those ages have been brought up lachrymatories, or lachrymals, which are vials made of earthenware. It was the custom for the ancients to catch the tears they wept over their dead in a bottle and to place the bottle in the graves of the departed, and we have many specimens of the ancient lachrymatories in our museums. The text intimates that God has an intimate acquaintance and perpetual remembrance of all our griefs, and a vial, or lachrymatory, or bottle in which he catches and saves our tears, and I bring you the condolence of this Christian sentiment Why talk about grief? Alas, the world has its pangs, and now while I speak there are thick darknesses of soul that need to be lifted. There are many who are about to break under the assault of temptation, and perchance, if no words appropriate to their case be uttered, they perish. I come on no fool’s errand. Put upon your wounds no salve compounded by human quackery; but pressing straight to the mark, I hail you as a vessel amidsea cries to a passing craft, “Ship ahoy!” and invite you on board a vessel which has faith for a rudder and prayer for sails, and Christ for captain and heaven for an eternal harbor.

First, I remark that God keeps perpetually the tears of repentance. Many a man has awakened in the morning so wretched from the night’s debauch that he has sobbed and wept. Pains in the head, aching in the eyes, sick at heart, and unfit to step into the light. He grieves, not about his misdoing, but only about its consequences. God makes no record of such weeping. Of all the million tears that have gushed as the result of such misdemeanor, not one ever got into God's bottle. They dried on the fevered cheek, or were washed down by the bloated hand, or fell into the red wine cup as it came again to the lips foaming with still worse intoxication. But when a man is sorry for his past and tries to do better—when he ■mourns his wasted advantages and bemoans his rejection of God’s mercy and cries amid the lacerations of an aroused conscience for help out of his terrible predicament —then God listens.

Again, God keeps a tender remembrance of all your sickness. How many of you are thoroughly sound in body? Not one out of ten. Ido not exaggerate. The vast majority of the race are constant subjects of a ilmants. There is some_one.form of diseasethat you are particularly subject to. You have a weak side or back, or are subject to headaches or faintness or lungs easily distressed, It would not take a very strong blow to shiver the golden bowl of lifexir break the pitcher at the fountain. Many of you have kept on in life shrough sheer force of will. You think no one can understand your distresses. Perhaps you look strong, and it is supposed that you are a hypochondriac. They say you are nervous—as if that were nothing! God have mercy upon any man or woman that is nervous.

Again, God remembers all the sorrows of poverty. There is much want that never comes to inspection. The deacons of the church never see it. The comptrollers of almshouses never report it. It comes not to church, for it has no appropriate apparel. It makes no appeal for help, but chooses rather to suffer than expose its bitterness. "Fathers who fail to gain a livelihood, so that they and their children submit to constant privation; sewing women who cannot ply the needle quick enough to earn them shelter and bread. Again, the Lord preserves the remembrance of all paternal anxieties. You see a man from the most infamous surroundings step out into the kingdom of God. He has heard no sermon. He has receivt d no startling providential warning. What brought him to this new mind? This is the secret: God looked over the bottle in which he gathers the tears of his people, and he saw a parent’s tear in that bottle which has been for forty years unanswered. He said, “Go to, now, and lei Me answer that tear!” and forthwith the wanderer is brought home to God. Now, 1 know with many of you this is the chief anxiety. You earnestly wish your children to grow up rightly, but you find it hard work to make them do as you wish. You check their temper. You correct their waywardness. In the midnight your pillow is wet with weeping. You have wrestled with God in agony for the salvation of your children. You ask me if all that anxietv has been ineffectual. I answer, No. God understands how hard you have tr|ed to make that

daughter do right, though she is so very petulant and reckless, and what pains you have bestowed in teaching that son to walk in the path of uprightness, though he has such strong proclivities for dissipation Again, God keeps a perpetual rememembrance of all bereavements. Thes** are the trials that cleave the soul and throw the hearts of men to be crushed in the wine-press. Troubles at the store you may leave at the store. Misrepresentation and abuse of the world vou may leave on the street where you found them. The law suit that would swallow your honest accumulations may be left in the court room. But bereavements arc home I rouoles, and there is no escape from them . You will see that vacant chair. Your eye will catch at the suggestive picture. Now, you have done your best to hide your grief. You smile when you do not feel like it. Butthough you may deceive the world, God knows. He looks down upon the ' empty cradle, upon the desolated nursery, Upon the stricken home and says: “This is the way I thrash wheat : this is th?* way I scour my jewels! Cast thy burden on my arm, and I will sustain you. All those tears I liavo gathered into my bottle!"

But what is the use of having so many tears in God's lachrymatory? In that great casket or vase why does God preserve all your troubles? Through all the ages of eternity what use of a great collection of tears? Ido not know that they will be kept there forever. I do not know but that in some distant age of heaven an angel of God may look into the bottle and find it as empty of tears as the lachrymals of earthenware dug up from the ancient city. Where have the tears gone? What spirit of hell hath been invading God’s palace and hath robbed the lachrymatories? None. These were sanctified sorrows, and those tears were changed into pearls that are now set in the crowns and robes of the ransomed; I walk up to examine this heavenly coronet,gleaming brighter than the sun, and cry, “From what river depths of heaven were those gems gathered?” and a thousand voices reply, “These are transmuted tears from Gods bottle.” I see scepters of light stretched down from the throne of those who on earth were trod on of men, and if every scepter point and inlaid in every ivory stair of golden throne, and behold an indescribable richness and luster, and cry, “From whence this streaming light these flashing pearls?” and the voices of the elders before the throne, and of the martyrs under the altar, and of the one hundred and forty and four thousand radiant on the glassy sea exclaim, “Transmuted tears from God’s bottle.”

Let the ages of heaven roll on the story of earth’s poinp and pride long ago ended. The Kohinoor diamonds that make kings proud, the precious stones that adorned Persian tiara and flamed in the robes of Babylonian processions forgotten;, the Golconda mines charred in the last conflagration; but, firm as the everlasting hills, and pure as tho light that streams from the throne, and bright as the'river that flows from the eternal rock, shall gleam, shall sparkle, and shall flume forever those transmuted tears of God’s bottle. Meanwhile let the empty lachrymatory of heaven stand forever. Let no hand touch it. Let no wing strike it. Let no collision crack it. Purer than beryl or chrysoprasus. Let it. stand on tho step of Jehovah’s throne and under the arch of the unfading rainbow. Passing down the corridors of the palace, the redeemed of .earth shall glance at it and think of all the troubles from which they were delivered, and say, each to each: “That is what we heard of on earth.” “That is what the psalmist spoke of.” ’•There once was put our tears.” “That is God's bottle.”: And while standing there inspecting this richest inlaid vase of heaven, the towel’s of the palace dome strike up this lively chime: “God hath wiped away ail tears from all faces. Wherefore comfort one another with these words. ”

Looking Forward.

We do not need an Edward Bellamy to look backward from the serene heights of 2000 A. D., to tell us that the time is coming when the moneyless wife of a rich man will be unworthy of our civilization—and people then will treat as a myth the story of the wife asking for a dollar and being met with: "Why, Mary, what can you want with a dollar—don’t you have all you need?” In that happy day no woman will confess to another: “My husband isgenerosity itself—he spends everything I wish on the house and tries to give me al! the pleasure he can--but, oh dear, I never cah get any money for myself—any little sum for the many things the children and I need — without a positive fight.” writes Annie R. Ramsey in an article on “The Question es Allowances” in the September Ladies’ Home Journal. Nor will be -heard the answer, as too often now; “Oh. my husband is just the same, but I take it out of the market purse and put it down to •sundries.’ He never knows, or if. he does notice and scold I have the things stnyhow.” Fine training in honor, this!

A Sad Home-Coming.

Ntw Ycrk Weelcy. Winks —What makes Bilkins so* glum today? Jinks—He has ;ust returned from a two weeks vacation in the country and everybody has been telling him what delightfully cool weather we’ve been having lately.