Rensselaer Republican, Volume 25, Number 47, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 July 1893 — OUR PLEASURE CLUB. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

OUR PLEASURE CLUB.

Wife—-I think deafness the most distressing of all Infirmities; Husband—l don’t. Jig dancing music is the kind that reaches the sole. The best idea of a Sabbath day’s journey is Obtained when one tries to run through a Sunday newspaper. “Well,” said the impatient streetcar conductor to the corpulent party trying to catch the car, “come ahead or else go afoot.” “De singin’ ob birds is sweet,” remarked Uncle Eben; “but de' cackle ob er chickin’ on yer own hen roos’ has er heap mo’ expression in it.” Miss Laura— Don’t you think that the Mohammedan idea that women have no souls is the most ridiculous thing you ever heard of? Mr. Oldbatcb —I have an idea that Mohammed has been mistranslated. You know that “soul” and “mind” are the same in a good many languages. “Young Hustle didn’t succeed very welli as editor of that religious weekly, did he?" “Not very; the first thing he did was to start a voting contest to> see who was the most popular sexton). ” THE MONKEY SCHEME.

The monkey said to the chimpanzee,. In a monkey’s original way, “If we should start a peanut stand Do you think we could make it pay?’ “The boys would buy the nuts of you As you sat your stall beside. And every boy would divide with me As he passed where I was tied.

“So you could sell and I could feast; And I think we could make it pav. For you could sit and-handle the cash’ And I could eat all da?.” —Harpers Bazar. “An, children,” said a Frankford school director visiting one of the public schools, “how much I likes ter hear you sing that ‘Star Speckled Banner.”’ r A New York colored barber, with a fondness for “big words,” was induced by some cruel wag to hang in front of his shop a sign bearing the words “Tonsorial Abattoir.” boy! You’ve been fighting. Little Son—No’m. “How did your clothes get torn, and your face get scratched?” S ‘l was try in’ to keep a bad boy from hurting a good little boy.” “That was noble. Who was the good little boy?” “Me.” THOSE SKATES.

A beautiful pair of skates, he had. And he thought them awfully nice Till he became so awfully mad When he tried, them ea th* ice.

Another pair of skates was his That ho won o'er a game of dice; But they gave him a bead Just the same with a whizz When he took them with the ice. Mamma (reprovingly, Sunday)— You told me you were going to play church. Little Dick —Yes'ih. “Then I’d like to know what all this loud laughing is about.” “Oh, that’s all right. That’s Dot and me. ‘We’re the choir." .K, ■ 111 10- «■ • --ijgaU ‘ He—ls that your school friend? He—You said all the girls Wed her. .£