Rensselaer Republican, Volume 25, Number 41, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 June 1893 — OUR PLEASURE CLUB. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

OUR PLEASURE CLUB.

Johnson—l made an annoying mistake in talking to Miss Oldun yesterday. Thompson—What was it? Johnson—l didn’t quite catch her name when we were introduced, and I asked her if she had married young. “No,” sadly said the stranger at the resustaurant, as he looked at the cup of coffee handed out to him, “you can take it back. I haven’t the heart to attack anything so weak as that. It’s against my principles.” All the Difference. Ally Sloper.

Wife—You said before we were married that ma should s’top with me as long as she pleased. Husband —Yes, but she has ceased to please. Hunker—What prompted you to ask Miss Giddey to be your wife? Spatts—l think Miss Giddy herself prompted me more than anybody else. .- “I tell you no man need starve to death in this city.” “Well, I should say not —he could jump in the river.” Butler-There’s a man below to see you, sir. Mayberry—What did you tell him? Butler —I told him you told me if it was a lady to say you were in, and if it was a man to say you were oat. .■ ; ■' ; ,;, r~-■ ■— — Mayberry—What did he say? Butler —He said to tell you he was a lady. “So your son only took the freshman and sophomore years in college?” “Ye 6 but the sophomore course he took very thoroughly. He devoted three years to it.” Reggy Smallfellow (bursting with indignation at having been rudely jostled by a muscular pedestrian)— I say, will you hit that man for a dollar? Micky Tuffwon—Wot’s de use? I jus struck him fer ten cents an’ didn’t git a red. “Briggs’ son has a fine position as civil engineer with—” Mrs. Holdstrap—Well, it seems tok me there is a much greater demand for civil conductors. No matter how often the base drum may be tapped the notes are never said to be liquid. A Big Difference. Judge.

Teacher—'Why, it’s as plain as the nose on your face. Numskull—Whose face, mum? Milton —Turner has laid up quite a little fortune, hasn’t he? “Yes, he is now indulging in some of the comforts of life.” “Bought him a home?” . “No, sold his piano.” - • “What did the audience do when the terrible explosion occurred in the gallery?” Manager—They applauded. “Heavens, why?” “You see it was a Wagner concert and they thought that was the first number of the programme.” “How about the new neighbor; is she agreeable?” “No, she’s had three new dresses inside of a month.” “Is your garden coming up idly?"“Yes, very; the chickens have discovered where there is a paling off." “What did she see about old Ducats to attract her?'’ “He is half dead.” “Did the gold cure really break up Swig’s drinking habits?” “How long did it take?” “Let me ase. I think he had only tried it for two days when he committed suicide."