Rensselaer Republican, Volume 25, Number 37, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 May 1893 — PASSING JESTS. [ARTICLE]

PASSING JESTS.

Blythe —If you would say you love me I think I should die for jov. Miss Dighke—Really, Mr. Jllythe, you have the faculty of putting your plea in a very tempting form. —Town Topics. Hobbs —Do- you believe Gallup burned his house to get the insurance money? Dobbs —No', I visited him at the jail and he confessed to me that he did it to get rid of the'box of cigars his wife gave him for his birthday. — Life. Mrs. Hicks—Do you have any difficulty with servants? Mrs. Foster—Hone ht-all—my husband is police commissioner, and he provides the kitchen with company. —New York Herald. „

■'— - ■ “Look here,” he said indignantly to the man with the hungry caw, “don’t you see that ‘keep off the grass’ sigq?" “Yes,” • “Well, yer cow’s on the grass.” “I know it, iriister," was, the placid answer. “I know jest as well as you do. You see, that cow can't read.” —Washington Star. A Scotchman waited upon one of the most celebrated teachers of the German flute, desiring to know on what terms he would give him a few lessons. The flute-player informed him that he charged two guineas for the first month and one guinea for the second. “Then,” replied the Scot, “I’ll begin the second month.” —Tla-Bits. A Staggerer for the Son-in-Law. —His Secretary (hopefully)—-Sir, I have married your daughter. (After a pause, bitterly) I suppose you have no further use for me? Himself.-—Your week is not out until six o’clock. You may sit down and draw a pew will for me, leaving all my property, to, the church. you think it possible'for a man to lbv'e two women at once? 1 He —Yes; fifty at once, if they were all like you. Teacher—ls your composition finished yet? Bdy—Nd’m, not ouite. “You told me an hour ago you had a subject.” “Yes’m, but it wouldn’t do, and I had to hunt for another.” “What was the matter with the first one?" “I couldn’t spell it.” ..