Rensselaer Republican, Volume 25, Number 30, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 March 1893 — OUR PLEASURE CLUB. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

OUR PLEASURE CLUB.

Mac —How did you enjoy Paderewski’s playing? J. Fits—l was sitting next to two women who were engaged in discussing the hoop skirt question and didn't hear any of the music. - ———; L. ■ ■' ' • y \-2 Miss Nuritch—Would you mary a man in trade? Miss Oldfamily (sadly)—Really, 1 don’t know. 1 never had an opportunity. - -

When a man eloped with Biggs’ wife, he exclaimed, “Well, I can’t blame him, poor fellow! I was awfully infatuated with her myself.” There was a young man of Eau Claire Who thought it was awful to awake. Yet tn moments of pique He somo phrases would sniqne Which seldom are uttered In pralre. MERELY LOO AU Street A Smith's Good News. Sick Child —1 wants some more meat, an’ potatoes, an’ bread, an’ Mamma —Dear me! 1 thought you were sick. Sick Child —My mouf isn’t sick. EARLY ENOUGH. Little Brother—Didn’t you and mamma get to church this morning awful late? Little Sister —Nd, we got there early. The preacher was jes’ sayin' ‘One word more.' NOT TO BLAME. Littlie Johnnie—Papa, the new toy store is selling bulls for almost nothing. Father (anxious to inculcate com mercial wisdom) —That’s only a bait. Wherever there's bait there’s a hook. Little Johnnie—Well, I don’t think it need matter to us if they did hook ’em. REGARD FOR APPEARANCES.

First Buy—-Who cut y’r hair —y'r mother? Second Boy—Naw. Yeh don’t think I’d let me mother cut me hair, do yeh? She’ butcher it. “Who did?" “Cut it myself." A GREAT EFFORT. Wee Miss—l hate that little girl. Mamma —You should not hate anyone, my dear. Wee Miss —Well, if I mustn’t hate her. I’ll try not to, but I guess it’ll make my head ache. HE COULD WALK. Mother —I wish you could go on an errand for me. Small Son —My leg aches awful. “Too bad. I wanted you to go to old Mrs. Stickney’s candy store, but- —” “Oh, that isn’t far. I can walk there easy.’’ “Very well. Go there and right along side of it you will see a grocery store. Go in and get me a oar of soap."

g?LF CONTROL. Teacher —What is the meaning of self control? Boy —It’s w’en a teacher gets mad, and feels like giving a boy a black mark and don’t. “They are both intelligent and the husband has a good income—why are they not received in,society?” “Neither have ever been divorced,’ “You are always complaining,” said the King of the Cannibal Islands to his wife, “but I don’t see but what, after all. you have as much as if you were civilized.” “What makes you think that,” asked his wife. “Well, I have just been reading a lot of stories about American women, and there wasn’t one of them who had a thing to wear.” He could not «Ing the old songs. Ills voice wus out of trim. And when bo tried the new songs They hung him to a limb. Her Heart Touched. Tuck

Benevolent Woman—Poor boy, you must suffer without shoes! I harn’t any that would fit you, but here ig an old pair of skates; that you canhavo.

JONES BAN ACROSS AN OLD FRIEND ON THE STREET.