Rensselaer Republican, Volume 25, Number 24, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 February 1893 — OUR PLEASURE CLUB. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

OUR PLEASURE CLUB.

Dukane—Speaking of storms, I once saw hailstones as large as — Gaswell (interrupting with a sneer) —Chestnuts? Dukane—Oh, bigger than that! As large as horse chestnuts—Pittsburg Chronicle ~ —r Miss Fit—And so you were in the Crimean war, Major? Were you with the Light Brigside in their heroic charge? Major Ananias Bluff—l —eh —came very near being in that historic charge, Miss Fit. Never was so disappointed in my life. They would take but 600 and I was No 601.

Landlady—l don’t know how it is, but I cannot keep the milk from getting sour, although I keep it in the refrigerator. Boarder —Why don’t you try the oil stove that’s in my room?—Detroit Free Press. Karl—Oh, auntie, please buy me a piece of raspberry cake. Aunt—No, my dear Karl; I need my money for something, that is better. KarlBut can you get anything better?

“I knew why bees never sit down,” said Walter. “Why is it, my dear,” asked his mother. “’Cause they has pins in their coat tails and they’s afraid to” —Harper’s Young People. Justice —Officer, what is the prisoner charged with? Officer Lafferty —Well, Your Honor, I’m not much of a judge, but it smells a good deal like whisky. Mr. Grigson—l wonder what old General Bull edoge can see in that odiously made up Blanche Dupuis? Miss Golightly—O, the old warhorse likes the smell of powder, I guess.

“When did this incompatibility begin?” asked an Indiana Judge of a litigant in a divorce suit. “We were married on Friday and trouble began on Saturday," was the reply. Mrs. Buylots—John, I brought home for you the bill of fare we had for our club dinner. I thought— John —Confound the luck, Marin, that’s just like you; can’t go anywhere or do anyshing without bringing home a big bill.

When hoop* oome In and hoops spread out, And w'th his girl bin walk begins, Bo is not. drunk because ho leans. But walks this way to save his shins. Agent—lt is no use trying any longer, for not a soul can understand this language. Benson—l’ll send for my wife. *■ Agent —What makes you suppose i she would know what they are talking about? I Benson —Well, she can always understand the cablo car conductors when they call the streets. 1 Mankind, says an observing philosopher, is divided into two great , classes. those who want to get into the papers and those who are only

anxious to be kept out. —Texas Siftings. In for It:

“Hey, Jimmy, wot’s de matter wid yer? Yer a losing de chance of yer life-time! Here’s de teacher wot kep’ us both in yesterday gone clean through the ice! Ain’t dis a puddin’? —Life. —— The Hysterical Hen, Texas Siftings. ■■■ City Mun—What the blazes is the matter with that hen?——Farmer —Nuthin’. She has just laid an egg City Man—Great Seottl one would suppose she had laid the foundation of a brick block.” Chicago’s Needs. New York Weekly. Mrs. Gotham —Now they say Chicago is to have the most wonderful telescope ever made. What you suppose that is for? Mr. Gotham—l presume they want to find out if the top stories of their houses are inhabited? ‘ History Repeats Itself.

Mary, -who owned the little lamb. Is married now. you know; Her first-born son is ten years old, And ho to school does go. He oft excites the teacher’s ire By fracturing the rule. Then, as ot old. the children laugh I—lTO1 —ITO see the lam at school.

MADDIE PLAYS FOR LEONARD.

JOHNNY HAD HIS EARS BOXED. —Chicago Mail.

A QUAINT LITTLE JUG.