Rensselaer Republican, Volume 25, Number 20, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 12 January 1893 — How an Orator Descended. [ARTICLE]

How an Orator Descended.

Down in southwest Missouri four or five years ago a town had all arrangements raadeHxf whoop ’er up on the glorious Fourth. The citizens had contributed in a liberal spirit, the day was fine, and the crowd large and enthusiastic. The orator of the day was a slim, cadaverous-looking man from St. Joe. To stand off and look him over, you’d have bet your last dollar that an old gander could have run him all around a ten-acre field. There were some lofty spirits in town that day, and one of them was Jim Bucks, a mixture of patriotism whisky, high jump, and rouglPand tumble. Jim sized the orator up, determined to have some fun with him, and took a seat directly in front of him as he stood on the platform to speak. The orator hadn’t spoken a hundred words before Jim interrupted him. He did this twice more and was warned to go slow. He didn’t go much on dreams or warnings, however, and watched for another opportunity. Pretty soon the orator said: “And so this littlejband of pilgrim fathers set out with stout hcurts and unwavering faith in search of ” “In search of skunks!” interrupted Jim. The orator made a long jump, lighted down on Jim Bucks, and inside of two minutes he had him licked so thoroughly that Mrs. Bucks would have passed him by for a splatter of pumpkin jelly, which had dropped from a dinner basket. When satisfied that his work was thoroughly done, the orator returned to the platform, and continued in the same calm and unruffled tones: “ liberty of speech and freedom of conscience, and they found them at Plymouth Rock.” Ho went oh and delivered a really eloquent speech, lasting nearly an hour, and he was just concluding when Jim Buck crawled out from under "Si wagon half a mile away, where he had; been laid, and queried of those around him: “Say! is that feller still speakin’ or fightin’? Durn mo, but I didn’t ’spose oratory included jumpin’ Jim Bucks’ liver out of his body!”