Rensselaer Republican, Volume 25, Number 18, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 December 1892 — OUR PLEASURE CLUB. [ARTICLE]

OUR PLEASURE CLUB.

“Say Seward,” yelled the statue ol Farragut acrose Madison Square the other night, “why don't you give up your chair to the lady? Don’t you think she is tired?” "Wat lady?” asked the bronze Seward, innocently. "Liberty,” r< a ed Farragut. “She has been standing ever sineo she came over.” —Harper s Weekly. Teacher —Well, Tommy. I suppose you hada very pleasant time Thanksgiving Day. ■ - A ' Tommy, (not feeling well) —Yes, had an awful nice time till after dinner.- ■ .. Mrs. Mason—Your wife does n great deal of fancy work, doesn’t she, Mr. Miggs? Mr. Miggs—Ahem, yes—that is she has always objected to doing any real work. Tupper—l am always strongly reminded of foot-ball when ! see Softpate caress his mustache. Sheldon—l suppose the same old gag of eleven on a side. I am— Tupper—No, its a tuchdown. Customer—ls this the all-pork sausage I saw on tho box by the door?' —77-“ ————————■■■■■ . Market Man—No; that's the captain of the foot-ball team waiting for, a carriage to take him home. ‘,How do you enjoy the bagpipes, Miss Crasher.” A*iss Crasher—l think they are horrid; I just detest tobacco in any form. The turkey fills The bill. The doctor kills The ill, , * t • f • ' : 1 ’ ' It shows how a certain instinct breaks out in the sex that when they marry a man they think they are getting a bargain.—Philadelphiu Times. • , ; !.;■)■ [J It wasn’t Biela s comet after all. It was Young’s. It transpires tjhai Prof. Biela has his comet’s skin hung up by the tail in the woodshed. —Minneapolis Journal. A man should be judged by his ip tontions, not by. his deed’3, The man who intends to be honesV but steals occasionally, is certainly , no worse than he who intends to steal, but can’t get a chance.—Boston Transcript. Men arp foolish in other affairs of .life as we!' as that of lovemaking.— Philadelpuia Call. Woman’s rights consist of a broad hat and matinee ticket.—Dallab News. 1 ' “If I were to ask you to mam me, what would you say." “Why, Mr. jonesby," she faltered “really this is so sudden." "I thought so,” he answered,“that is about what they all say. Mud obliged.” And then ho said it’ wu time for him to go.—Waslnugtot. 1 Star. . ____________ In 1839-9® 12,68(1,973 pupils werenjolled in the elementary and set ondary public schools of the Nation iln 1880 there were but 9,867,ML The average daily attendance in 18? K was 8,144,938. For the support cD public schools in 1890 the sura o 8140,274.484 was appropriated, or at expenditure of per capita SchM property is. valued at >73,‘3.4 72 .