Rensselaer Republican, Volume 25, Number 13, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 November 1892 — A Victim of Marriage. [ARTICLE]

A Victim of Marriage.

“Huin'tbeen ary cyulone scootin’ ’round here, has they stranger?'’ “Notunless she got by when my back was turned.” “Nary catamount with her back up looking for trouble?” “Not lately.” “Nary compound extract of Calamity Jane en wholesale destruction?” , “Nary.” “Then I reckon I can stop en' breathe myself." “Broke a faro bank at The Colonel’s Own last night en my wife’s been arter me ever since with three knives, two guns an’ her duuder up. Say, I’m lamin' low, I am. Liz wants a caliker dress, nalligator grip an’ a dimun' ring, ’long with a ticket to Tombstone, so’s She can run down and sec her folks. I don’t object to sendin' her up the road, but I've got my eyes on the bank at Juniper Jones’, an’ it’ll take every dollar I've got to bust it en throw in a gilt edged, double header toot. But that's* the way with wimmen. No idees of what’s what. Ain’t married, be ye?” “Well, I guess not.” “Young feller, yer in big luck, 'cause marriage is a failure, blamed if ’tain’t. Sap, I’m goin’ over tc Juniper’s, an’ if you run counter ol a blizzard in petticoats runnin’ that way, leader ’er off en tell ’er yer saw me goin’ to the Colonel’s Own, an’ obliged to ye. Day, stranger.”