Rensselaer Republican, Volume 25, Number 12, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 November 1892 — CONDIMENTS. [ARTICLE]

CONDIMENTS.

She —How do you like my hat? He—lt makes your face very Ion". She—lt made papa's face very long when he paid for it.—Truth. “They say sho is very tender hearted.” “Tender hearted! Why that woman would rather die of ennui than to kill time.—New York Press. It would probably be hard to conTtneq tt bantaro---«>Q&liaiL».tbat. his crowing doesn’t have a good deal to do with makink the sun rise.—Ram’s Horn. ~ • Lady—Where's *tty trunk? Baggageman - -I couldn’t find any trunk, mum, but I’ve got the handle with the check on. She—You would be surprised if I were to tell you that I am past 25, wouldn’t you? He —I would be surprised at your telling me. —Indian - apolis Journal. It was in the School of Design. Professor—What you have just drawn there looks more like a cow than a horse. Pupil—lt is a cow. Edith —Why did you dismiss Mr. Goodheart? Blanche—Oh,“htTgot so he’d rather sit at home and hold my hand than take me the the theatre. “Bring me a punch,” said the rounder. “Levant something to make me sleep.” “Yes, sir,” said the intelligent waiter. “Beverage, sir, or London literature?” “Why did you break your engagement Miss Hinton?” “It had to be the engagement or me and I’m too fond of good living to go into bankruptcy.” The ballroom ceiling cracked during u dance in a house at Newport. ~“Grablores!’ J said one of the girls, “that must be the mortgage. ” “Could you lond me an X?” “My boy,” replied Charley Cashgo, “ever since m.v school days when I studied algebra X has stood with me for an unknown quantity.” Jones —Smith is about your closest friend, isn’t he? Borrowit -Yes, confound him! It’s almost impossible to borrow a cent from him, I “TlnalOrfl I-deal hand,”remarked the gambler under his breath us his dealt himself four aces and the other fellow a quartet of monarchs. A Chicago Proposal—Wabash McHenry—Mrs. Lakeside- Lobelia — will you be mine]? Mrs. LakesideHow much alimony do you pay? There's plenty of room at the top, but you shouklp’t tell an ambitious artist so just as he is on the point of sending his picture to the exhibitioii. *. Professor —You seem to be very dull. When Alexander the Great was vour age he had already con quered tho world. Student —Well, you see, he had ArisLoLlo for a teacher.