Rensselaer Republican, Volume 25, Number 5, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 September 1892 — CONDIMENTS. [ARTICLE]

CONDIMENTS.

mouse on Winns. I T's f Tit Vi nnif i ff] T gA “There's temperance feed in* place around the corner, an* th* redder a man’s nose is th* moresyraperA manwith a history—The bo<* The earth sometimes appears to he decidedly fiat to the mortal who is too poor to go around it. —Dallas News. Obliging. —He—ls I kiss you again will you scream ? She—Yes ; Tu do anything you wish. dress fit you well, Clara?” “Oh, splendidly I can hardly more or Whether closed in time or not, the doors of too many get-rich-quick schemes appear mainly trapMiss Romantique—Wouldn’t it be just lovely ough to support him.—New York Sun. ’ Prudence—What de you think of my reform ? like the rights of enough persons.-—Near York Sun. S * said, as they left the fountain. cents a good deal to pay for a glass of sarsaparilla ? " Johnny—What ’did your mother, whip you for, Jimmy ? Jimmy— Eatin’ greon trait. Johnny—Who give ye away ? Jimmy—The doctor. —Washington Star. you had last year? Griggs—Yes; and it's the same suit that you askea me last year if it wasn’t the same suit that I had the year before. — contract pneumonia this weather ? u gweat wisk, but I wore a rose that was wot with dew.—lnter Ocean. the ‘reign of terror ?’" “The rain of terror, replied Biiggins. “is the shower that comes up when your wife has her best bonnet on. ’ — Washington Star. It is time for a new popular song to take the place of Rooney^ gentleman who has one ready ia bi» mind will please not’write it out.— Boston Globe - / suppose I must take it as a compliment when George calls me a duck. can’t verv well change your gait. down the street, did his fair anct blushing bride. 'Twae a woman's throw, and It struck mawnin' myself unable to stan’ up an’ talk to yo’, an’ so I ax de congregation ter stan’ up instid

He took her out for on tce-oroom treot. His pretty blue-eyed SoL But feinted when he reed the alga, • Cream ninety cents a gal.” To holy me aave she sale, “Now, Charles, Do get it by ths quart ” The typewriter sat with his Sunday girl. And his heart with tore was warm; And he Slipped his am round her waist and ' Thiels only a matter of fomt* * Mamma—Why is it, Maud, that fat >“ ii Ir.tleis to Miss Tsttler yog write only on one side of the paper? Maud- I thought that was always the rule when a letter is intended for publication. —Chicago Inter-Ocean, “I wish you would tell me how to get out of debt,” said a depressed citizen. “Humph,** replied the man who hasn’t any credit to speak of, “I wish you would tell me howto get into debt."—Washington Star. Overheard on Fifth Avenue.—Off 'bus horse—l used to know that man on the corner out west; be was at horse thief. Nigh ’bus horse—Givet me an introduction; maybe he would steal us."—New York Herald. A Thin Querist. —B. & Supt.— Tommy, can you tell me why the lions didn’t eat Daniel when he waa in their den? Tommy—l guess ifc must’er b'en, mister, 'cause he was like you an’ hadn’t any meat on him, —Boston Courier. , | fj

“I’ll have you arrested for making false representations. I bought that, horse or you only because you told me he bad a record." “Very true, hut the record Is a bad an* Yen didn't ask me what kind el a record he had. -Rider and Driver. Mike—lt's like owld times to W’ you again, Pat. Why did you niver wroite me a letther since last we mit?” Pat-Oi didn’t know maddress, Moike. Mike -Thin wfft mi* the name o’ since did ye not wrolls for it. —Harper's Bazar. Another aiseas*.- Brudder• Jto&w kins How’s ver heaht, Sister Pugsleyf Sister Pugsley ~Ofa, ma heaht's ail right, thunks, but dat o o guzmrd <>i) mine do play de dibble tricks wid me de hut) brassed time. Brooklyn Eagle.

Don't Get Moonstruck, Young man.—These moonlight nights, rim the number of pretty girls in the world, uro responsible for lots of young men asking girls to marry them when they can’t support them* scl ves. A tchinoa Dally Globe, hello, old man! .1 thought ’vou V