Rensselaer Republican, Volume 24, Number 51, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 18 August 1892 — THE ARIZONA KICKER. [ARTICLE]

THE ARIZONA KICKER.

The Editor’s Criticisms Caused Trouhle and the Departure of the Horse Reporter. k -i' N. Y. Sun. A Surprise Party.—Last week Major Cowan, the owner of Sunset Ranch, over in Chinch Valley, invited us over to eat Sunday dinner with him aud look over his grounds and buildings. As editor of the Kicker we have been very frank in our criticisms of the Clinch Valley cowboys. As Mayor of this town we have wounded three of them and kept the crowd on their good behavior when they have come into the’City. It was, therefore, with a feeling pf hesitancy that we saddled our mule last Sunday morning and set out for the Major’s. We had proceeded as far as Turkey Bend, and were communing with the spirit of nature and loading our guns for business when about thirty cowboys;4ed by Bill Wheeler, who has a standing offer of SIOO for either of our ears, suddenly broke cover from the scrub a mile away. We were not looking for subscriptions among that crowd, neither did we care to go into any extended argument on the political situation on the Lord’s day. We decided to return to town by the shortest route. For about a mile the crowd was within shooting range. We counted seventy-six bullets which passed within speaking distance of us. We finally begap to gain, and a mile out of town wejwere a mile ahead of the gang. All stopped at the city limits,, while we came into town on a gentle center, and attended church service as usual. We haven’t the slightest complaint to make against the action of the cowboys. It is their business to kill us off if they can, and on the other hand we shall pepper every one who shows his head in town. It was rather a surprise on us, but we think we did the right thing in the right place.

A Disappointment.—The Kicker no longer has a horse reporter. When the young man who has been sporting that title came along here four months ago, fresh from the femine East, he assured us that he felt himself equal to any emergencyWe could offer him only $7 a week, but he did not hesitate a moment. All he wanted was a chance to work up. We have always been rather doubtful of him. — He didn't have the genuine Western motion to his right arm in reaching Jback for his gun. He practiced two hours a day for weeks and weeks, but while he visibly improved on the motion there was always a certain stiffness about the shoulder muscles. Ho was'an agreeable 4ellow, however, and his department was interesting to all readers, and we kept him along and hoped that he might somehow get through. ' On Tuesday morning what we had feared came’to pass. Our horse reporter started forgone Tree to look at some fancy stock. On the way over he met half breed Joe Briff, whom J we once flung through the alley window of this rightly looked upon him as our representative and stopped him on the highway. We should have perforated Joseph’s carcass six times before he had uttered two whoops, but our representative hadn’t got his hand back before he was covered. He was then made to dismount, and that leather-faced ’half-breed, who hasn’t got two inches of spinal colrubbed sand in and made him sing and dance until he fell exhausted. He graciously permitted our representative to town at the end of an hour, but we did not know him when he walked into the office. As spon as he had told his story, we mounted our mule and flew out to hoping to find the half breed lingering about. We beat up the country for two miles around, but he was not to be found. As stated above, we have no horse reporter now. Upon returning to the office we told the young man he' must go. He seemed to fully.realize -the Situation himself and was already packing up. He was badly broken up and we felt sorry for him, and We hereby wish to recommend him to any paper east of Kansas or Nebraska whienhas a situation open. He is a capital writer, but t6o slow on the draw for this section. In a community where the horse reporter defends himself with a club or brass knuckles he’d be invaluable. We shall wipe out the stain as far as possible by shooting the half breed at the first opportunity.

The underground railroad in Glasgow, begun three years ago, is now almost completed. The total length of the road, which extends into the suburbs,is seven and a quarter miles, but not all of this is underground. The greatest distance below the surface is lOO.feet, the average distance beings twenty feet. There are a great many grades, some quite steep, and some sharp curves. The contract price of the road was something over $5,000,000.

Few relics of antiquity are so curiously interesting as the chart em ployed by ancient mariaars, which nave port raved upon them ever so many extraordinary monsters, horrible dragons and terrific gianU scattered hare and there.