Rensselaer Republican, Volume 24, Number 43, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 June 1892 — CONDIMENTS. [ARTICLE]

CONDIMENTS.

Handcuffs might appropriately be called sad-irons. If you cannot lick a man be lenient with his faults.—Texas Siftings. The course of true love may not run smooth, but they make some good records on it in Chicago. One-half the world doesn’t know how the other half lives; but some womei) are trying their best to remdy thkt. A Great Go. —“How doeg your new errand-boy go. Johnson?” “The Ihng way, apparently, every time. “Dpes Miss Budd have many men in-her train?” “Give it up; but she had about a dozen on it last night at the ball.” - Salphinx—“l fear Hiroller is contracting bad habits.” Sharpe—“On the contrary, he seems constantly to be expanding them. ” These are the times when the city directory is the only place where a public man is sure of seeing his name mentioned with respect. He—Are you happy, now that you’re married? She —Comparatively. He —Compared with whom? She —Compared with my husband. Manager (proudlyWThiN fheater has^eiulied'"fOff years. Baron— Yefy good, but don’t you think the ballet ought to have been renovated in the interim?

American Style.—Scads—You say he left no money! Baggs—No. You see he lost his health getting wealthy and then lost his wealth trying to get healthy. “Is Bronson as forgetful as ever?” “More so. Why, that fellow has to look himself up in the direotgjgis every night before he goes home from business. Forgets his address. —Harper’s Bazar. There is no question of the value of advertising, but still it doesn’t justify a young man in carrying a new umbrella in such a way as is most likely to catch the eye of the public. Laud and Lawed. —“Brobson used to laud his wife without stint before they were divorced.” “Well, she got even. She lawed him pretty briskly for a spell, I can tell you.” About the Count.—Sister Ethe (who likes him) —Well, anyway, he is a polished gentleman. Brother Jack (who does not)—Polished enough, but shine is all on his clothes. “Hawkins is very fond of his horse, isn’t he?” “Why, no, he hates him. ” “That’s queer. I saw him riding in the park the other day, and he had his arms about the animal’s neck.’’ —Harper’s Bazar. Mr. Manhattan —You understand the language of flowers, of course, Miss Winona? Miss Winona (of Minnesota)—Oh, yes! Four X’s is' the best quality, made from selected winter wheat.