Rensselaer Republican, Volume 24, Number 29, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 March 1892 — Page 2

i THE REPUBLICAN. „ ,C. ■ Qbom E. Matohall, Publisher. RENSSELAER - INDIANA

Tffltrecent strike of Streetcar employes at Indianapolis, impresses the Indianapolis Sentinel as a timely occasion to suggest a State Board Arbitration as one of the real and Tfflrstoical philosophy of some na' tures passeth all understanding. The recent victim of a Delaware whipping post chewed tobacco while the stripes were being laid upon him, and wore a broad grin after the operation was pver. The Princess Frederick-Leopold of Prussia appealed to Kaiser William tor permission to raise her infant son was graciously granted. Strange custom that which requires the in* tervention of imperial royalty to per' mit the exercise of a true motherly instinct on the nursing of her own offspring. - - y;---—3— t. .. A paßtt of five train' loads of Washington people, including members of Congress, have been to Chieago to see what progress is being made, with the World's Fair build' ings. They were “speechless with admiration - ’ in noting the work al' ready accomplished. They might have known that when Chicago wills she will, and there’s an end of it.

When the obscure or rascally relative of a prominent man gets into any sort of disreputable scrape the relationship is always heralded abroad —no great man being able to escape this sort of responsibility for the cousins to the third and fourth degree. The announcement, how ever, that “the Duke of Manchester’s cousin’s wife is charged with murder” seems to carry the principle to unnecessary lengths. No man, however wealthy or Jpowerful, ought to have the sins of his cousins’ wives visited upon him. It is really burdening him too much. There is a bill pending in Congress to provide for a thorough exploration of the interior of Alaska which is, in some respects, as unknown as the darkest parts of Africa. Nearly a quarter of a century has elapsed since'the acquisition of Alaska by the United States, yet nothing, comparatively, is known of the interior of that vast region or its possible resources er inhabitants. Alaska eontains about 600,606 square miles of territory, more than fifteen times the area of Indiana, and we know very little about any part of it, except the edges and some of the water-courses. As a matter of business it would seem that the government ought to make a thorough exploration of tho territory. -

Perhaps there is only one place in the world where the flags of four Rations, each on its own soil, may be seen waving in friendly rivalry or in defiance, according to the condition of European politics. Midway in the narrow channel at the southern en. trance to the Red Sea is the dar kgray island of Perim, above which floats the union jack of Britain. Surmountng the steep cliff on the neighboring *hore of Arabia is the crimson banner of Turkey, and on the opposite coast is the border line between the Red Sea territories of France and Italy, whose flags are flung to the breeze within a half mile of one another. If four nations should have a serious falling out, it would be interesting to watch the corner of the world where their frontiers meet, Representative Cogswell, of Massachusetts, has introduced a bill to establish a national sanitarium for the treatment pf consumption. The bill authorizes the president to appoint a committee of three or more physicians to visit New Mexico and Colorado to select a suitable site for the purpose named, the exto by the 'Within six months after their appointment the committee shall make a report to the president concerning the best location for the sanitarium and regulations which, in their judgipent, seem best suited for its government. A further provision of the bill stipulates that the secretary of war shalFbe authorized to furnish the Committee a list of abandoned military stations in New Mexico and Colorado, one of which may be selected by the committee *or the location. The bill provides that an appropriation of $50,000 shall be made for the maintenance of the said sanitarium. If the government is going into tbc sanitarium business a will feel likepeti-

THE NEWS OF THE WEEK.

Salt Take City is having a natural gas boom. „ »■ Congressman Springer is rapidly recovering. The“ King of Sweden will visit the world’s fair. By the colliery disaster in Belgium 215 ives were lost. . A hospital patient at New York slept himself to death. The Texas delegation to Minneapolis fa olid for Harrison, _ 1 . The officers of the Now Orleans lotterF have been indicted in fourteen States. Twenty-tliree horsesVereburned in the Dexter stables at Pueblo, Col., Tuesday. An envelope trust, with a capital of $5,000,000, is said to be forming in New York. Gen. Russell A. Alger announces that he will be a candidate for the presidential nomination. The prospect Is that a general strike will occur by Chicago labor organizations about May 1. Reports favoring tfie admission of Arl zona and New Mexico as States have been made at Washington. It is.said. thaldA trust-of alLlhe_.co.pper mining except 1 he Quincy,'which refused to go in, is forming. Dinah |Hogan, aged 115, died at Otterville, Mo., Tuesday'. She was a slave of Gen. Ilogan, of Mississippi. William Clorn, living near Warsaw, 111., went into, a field where a bull is kept, and was set upon by the animal and mortally wounded. Senator Fuller is opposed to the renomination of Harrison l>ccauso he is not in Sympathy with his silver views. MrFuller favors free coinage. Reports from various cities and towns throughout Illinois and Kansas are to the effect that winter wheat, has been greatly damaged by the recent blizzard. CA young Frenchman of Dcs Moines, wanted a wife and advertised for her. Not receiving a favorable response, he committed suicide by tire pistol route. Senator Hill says he will not answer Congressman Harter's request as to hi g position upon the - silver question, upon th(*ground that Harter is seeking cheap -notoriety. '■' ' ; ——: —- The San Francisco Stock Exchange wil] Imtits granite building, erected at a cost of S7OO,(XX). At one time seats in the board were worth 125,000. To-day seats are worth $2,500. I The first entry of goods destined for the World's Fair exhibition was entered at New York Tuesday at the custom house There were ten cases of antiques, which arrived on the steamship:Claribel from PortLimon.

Jay Gould has given $25,000 to. the University of the City of New York. The gift was made a few days after he gave his check for id 0,003 to the Presbyterian church extentiou committee. It was Mr. Gould’s desire that the gifts should be kept secret, A New York special says that the reason Mr. Gould abandoned his propose visit to Mexico was because he had an intimation that if he ventured iuto that country in the present unsettled condition he would be kidnapped and held for ransom by the revolutionary party. Nicholas Groesbeclc, of Salt Lake City, pardoned last year by President Harrison an his promise to abandon polygamy, has been ariested and held in SIO,OOO bonds for the same offense. It was a very flagrant case, the offending parties living openly lu polygamous relations. The United States Government has de termined upon the manufacture of smokeless powder, for use both in small arms and heavy ordnance, and with this object* In view Capt. Pitman, a well-known orJnance officer and expert chemist, has been detailed by General Flagler, chief of ordnauce, U. S. A., to take charge of the laboratory at the Frankfort (Pa.) arsenalSaits have been tiled in tho United

States Circuit Court by attorneys repre- ! sentiug the heirs of six of the Italians j slain by the populace at the parish prison en the 14 th of March last, against the city ; of New Orleans, claiming damages in the sum of $30,000 in each case. The petition alleges that the death of the men resulted from a conspiracy, and avers that- s no proper steps wese taken to protect the I prisoners, though the purposes of the conspiracy wore well known. A war between England and the United 1 States as au (outcome of the Bering sea complication is seriously talked of by Erastus Wiman, the well-known economist and financier. Mr. Wiman is visiting friends in Chicago. “The. English Gov ernment,” said he, in an interview, “ia un. ! der tremendous pressure now from the ; Canadian Government,.which, being tory ; iii complexion and strengthened by the re- | cent elections, is in a mood to insist that 1 Canadian sealers be protected and given TtpneUrights with Americans on the high seas. «Besides the coining contest in England Between the tories and Gladstone and the liberals, makes it that a diversion of some kind beccratede ated to insure tory success at the pqYi’.s. Nothing will so fire the British heais with enthusiasm as anything calcijhft«d to maintain the fiction that Brijafaia rules the wave. Erider such-drmjffijstauces, it is not improbable that vigorous foreign policy ,vvULpreyailrf[uring the coming summer, in which the peace of the world may be threatened. Actual hostilities are doubts ful, but many wars have sprung from less serious causes, and it is a fact that party exigencies have caused half of England’s wars. At any rate, no party was ever in greater straits than is the tory party now.’’ E. D. Howard, a, machinist of LynnMass., died Sunday. He had lived the life of a miser. In his room however, 830,000 has been found.

FOREIGN. Archbishop Ireland is to be made a Car dinal this mentis. The strike of 400.000 English coal miners has gone into effect. A crazy shoemaker in London Sunday, February 28, killed his four chidreri by cutting their throats. The GrandDukeofX.HdwiglV,of HesseDarmstadt. died at Darmstadt, Sunday morning. He married Princess Alice, the .second daughter of Queen Victoria, who

diedjslx years later. The German cour will go into mourning for three,weeks. The Novoe Vremya, of St. Petersburgassefts that the wood from the state forests, which was placed at the disposal of the famine sufferers by order of the Czar, does not go to the poor but to the profit oi rich peasants, who take the logs to build houses, while their unfortun&Je brethren are perishing with cold because they dc not possess horses to transport fuel. On the Dinley estate,near Port Qf Spain Trinidad, a coolie farm hand suspected his wife of intimacy with a white overseer and openly charged her with infideii' ~ty. She fled an<T look iip quarters with the overseer. Next day the husband came into town and bought a number of presents, with which he persuaded his wife to return to his bedftrld boardr In the after g noon they went up the river in a canoe, to fish. At 6 o’clock he returned with a boat load of fish, but minus tho woman. Asked where she was, he exhibited a bloody knife, saying he cut ter up for fish bait. He is now in jail awaiting trial for murder. A most appalling disaster occurred in a Colliery in Belgium. Friday. Fire damp exploded in Audells Colliery near Charlein a gallery five hundred feet below the surface. It was very heavy and the shock caused by it resembled an earthquake. Tho ground for a large area in the vicinity of the Colliery rocked and trembled for several seconds from the immense force made by the exploding gases. Houses were shaken to their foundation, windows were loudly rattled and-smashed, and crockery and other articles of the household were thrown about and broken. The . work of rescue soon began, Thenumber of deaths cannot be accurately stated, but nearly all who were in the mine were killed. Many of tho bodies have been recovered.

WASHINGTON.

Congressman Holman is said to be in the Presidential race. The President has issued a proclamation Ttnnouneing a reciprocity agreement with Nicaragua. ■ 3 , .. *.«* ' The tariff debate continued in thc-House Friday. Mr. Brookshire, of Indiana, wa s one of the speakers. The House adjourned Tuesday after readi n g Tbe journal,Tn respect to Congressman Kendal’, whosejfieath was announced, ~ It is now conceded that the silver bil* will pass the House. The Senate finance committee will promptlyreport.it adversey to that body. Mr. Hatch has introduced a bill in the house, appropriating $50,000 for the erection of a statue in Washington to the memory of the late Samuel J. Randall.

The Washington Post says: “Mr. Johnson of Indiana, is the most rapid talker the congressional stenographers have yet experienced, but the long distance record of Mr. Biair has not yet been beaten.” Senator Stewart, of Nevada, will offer a joint resolution fproposing a sixteenth amendment to tho Constitution, which states that “No person who has held the office of Presidents or four years,' -or any part thereof, shall be eligible to that offico Within the four years after the expiration of such term.” The resolution, which * will be referred to the committo on civilservice reform, further provides that the amendment shall not take effect until after March 4,1597. The Cabinet meeting of Tuesday was devoted to consideration of tho Behring sea dispute. The Senate also considered the matter in secret session. The Presidenthasnotified the British government ! that arbitration is useless unless the sea. are protected until arbitration can be reached, and this government will protect Its interests in tho seal fisheries. The subject is being generally discussed in Washington, the belief being general that serious complications may arise.

The President closed his .lqtst letter so the British government, written by the Assistant Secretary of State, as follows: “The President can not agree, now that the terms of arbitration have been settled that the restrictions imposed shall be less* than tbose which both governments deemed to be appropriate when it wasstlil uncertain whether an c f . the controversy was attainable. H&Mierefore. hopes that Her government wi 11 consent to the arrangement of last yeVr ’with the*promj>tness which the exigency demands and to agree to enforce Ale by refusing all clearances to seajifcg vessels forthe prohibited waters 'and recalling- fmjft those - .waters aB such vessels as/fiave already cleared. This Government will honorably abide the judgment of the High tribunal which has been agreed upon, whether that judguient be favorable or unfavorable, and will not seek to avoid a just responsibility for any of its acts which by that judgment are found to be unlawful. But certainly the United States cannot be expected to suspend the defense, by such means as ate within its power, of the property and jursdictional rights claimed by it, pending he arbitration, and to consent to receive them from that tribunal, if awarded shorn of much of their value by the acts of irresponsible persons.”

"A Sovereign Spectacle."

A letter in the Salt Lake Tribune, describing the “snow - storms in the Sierras, says: “The flakes come down ns large as a man's palm. They catch and cling to the limbs of the glorified pines and turn them into temoles. The trunks of the great trees are the pillar* while all above is a mass of exquisite work in green and white. There are festoons and streamers, and the soft soughing of the wind 'comes to the ear like the muffled beat of the breakers upon a low coast. It requires strong nerves not to bh impressed with jhe immensity qnd wild grandeur of everything around. When a mountain stoian sounds all its solemn pipes and starts the march, it is a sovereign specta-

INDIANA STATE NEWS.

It is said that the Noblesville * as wells are losing pressure, . NjtarShall county farmers report a great harvest of maple sugar. It fs proposed tor connect Xenia and Marion with an electric line. The at Windfall was plunderdd by burglars with little loss. In sounding the depth of the mud in th e streets of LUporte, “no bottom” is reported. - ; ' Two employes ofj the Salamonie Pipe "Company were badly injured by an explosion id the gas house Mill Groye, in Jay county. In the marriage of Edward Brubaker and Clara Stewart, at HjmtingtOnj McM -Mary Strickland, who IS- an accredited" minister of the gospel, officiated. Isaac B. Johnson, of the firm of Howland & Johnson, agricultural implement dealers, of Indianapolis, committed suicide Friday, presumably on account of domestic trouble.

A bill of divorce was Saturday granted to the wife of Sid Conger, at Shelbyville Mrs. Conger charged in her petition, cruel treatment. Bv the mutual agreement of ThepafflSsMrs:Gongeris to have $16,000 alimony. - - - A double tragedy occurred at Indianapolis Friday, in which Oscar Abbott shot Miss Celia Bass and then himself. Both are colored.-Abbdtt died almost instantly, and'ttre lady may not recover. Love and jealousy prompted the crime. Over a year ago an eleven-year-old son of Dr. De Cauz Tilney, of Crawfordsville, was bitten by a garter snake while wading a branch. The bite was in the instep, and began to pain him. His leg began to dwindle, and was soon useless, until if will have to be amputated. Tho Carroll county soldiers’ monument will be located on the court-house square at Delphi. It will be fifty-six feet high, of granite quarried at Barre, Vt., and on the four sides of the shaft will be bronze badges of the & A. R., Sons of Veterans, W. R. C., and the State coat-of-arms. Patents were Tuesday to Indiana inventors as follows: E. Chipman, Goshen, springs for beds, cushions and chairs; C. M. Dyer, Clovordale, telegraph relav; 11. Herzog, Mishawaka, foot rail for counters; B. F. Osborn, Nora, truss rail fence; J. Pittigan, Goodland, washboard; C. L. Ratliff, Marion, index. D. Wiser, Plymouth, drive well Alton In the northern part of Bartholomew county, in an old Baptist church that has not been used for twenty years, a young man has begun preaching, and now the building will not hold all who desire to hear. Services are held each night, and people are said to begin to arrive as early as 4 o’clock in the afternoon, in Order to get seats. A sensation was created at Muncie, Friday, when 300 Odd Fellows had gathered to attend the funeral of Rev. M. S. Metts, a member of that order. They were to hold their ceremonies in the church after the religious exercises. When the tim e came, however, the Presiding Elder, B. A. Kemp, who was in charge of the religious ceremonies, closed them and refused the Odd Fellows permission to conduct theirs. They did so at the grave, however, in the cold. Much indignation is felt. Miss Hattie Flanigan, a young saleswoman at the dry-goods establishment of Block & Thalman, was killed by the cars at Kokomo, Friday morning, whileVoing from home to her work. She attempted to cross tho Pan Handle track as the komo & Richmond special was backing into the yards, and her foot caught in the switch, which threw her in the middle of the track and held her fast. Her head was crushed to a jelly. She was ah orphan, nineteen years old. B. F. Wad kins, of GoodVlew, six miles southwest of Farmland, has invented a machine for the manufacture,,*)! bindelTwTne but of straw or prairie grass. Mr. Wadkins has been experimenting with this machine for several years, and thinks ho has completed an apparatus that will save farmers thousands of dollars. He says when Jffis machine is once in operation the “twine trust” won’t be “in it.” He has had hundreds ot offers from Eastern capitalists wanting to take stockStops will be taken to organize at"stock company and have the plant located at Farmlaud.

The divorce suit of Mrs. Alice Spencer against Dr. William Spencer, of Monticello, has been .on Jjial for several days at Mwiiti’ceUo, and little else has received attention at that place. Dr. Spencer is one of the wealthiest men in that part of the State, and the startling allegations of cruel aud inhuman treatment made by his wife had tho effect of filling the court room at every session of the tidal. Chas. R. Pollard, of Delphi, sat as special Judge in the caso, [and ;Friday evening rendered.a decision granting the plaintiff a divqree, with SIO,OOO alimony, SSOO attorney fees, tho custody of her child, and S2OO a year for its maintenance for the period of four years. When the Judge rendered his decision,' the audience broke loose; cheering and yelling their approbation, and the court could only restore order by thfeateuingto have the court room cleared. It is not likely the defendant will appeal from the decision. The reports of the Valuable discovery of zinc in Carroll county are verified. Mr. C. 11. Stevens, of Logansport, was interested In some Missouri mines, and had a number of pieces of oro on exhibition at hiStplace of business. E. McKinnum, of Rock Creek township, Carroll county, saw them, and insisted that some of that“stone coal,” as Tie called it, was to he found in his locality. He brought in a cigar box full to prove it. It was shipped to Missouri for analysis, whic„h showed thatllt was equal to the best Missouri ore. Mr. Stevens took A. R: Shroyer, of Logaasporf, in with him, and prospecting was begun and leases* made. Investigation shows that the veins on tho Rock creole bottom are struck at four feet from the bed of the creek, and One vein of four feet, and one of six feet of solid ore have been found. The bluff along tho creek is about seventy-five feet high, so that most of the ore lies at a depth of eighty feet from the level. The Missouri vein is struck »*• ninety feet, while this

can be mined from the creek bottom. Prospecting along the bottom land showed that the vein extended along the creek three and a half miles. The supply is almost inexhaustible and as the Missouri output is $75,000 worth Of ore per week, there is na reason why the Indiana field should fall short of that. Four men are at work now sinkingmlpes and twenty-five will beat wbrk by Monday next. The ore lies in Rock Greek township, Carroll county, on the line of the Wabash railroad, and fourteen miles west of this city. Several prospectors from abroad have arrived and are leasing land. 'JH2 : -t-

BTATE ORATOBT. The Indiana oratorical contest, involving Eranklin y Wabash and Hanover colleges and the Butler, Indiana and DePauw universi ties, occurred at Plymouth Church, Indianapolis, Friday evening, before a large audience. The subjects and contestants were as follows: “The Puritan,” Elbaßranigir, of Franklin. “Savanarola, the the Italian Martyr, Statesman and Hero,” Edgar H, Evans, of Wabash. “Ethics of American Politics,” Reed Carr, of But,lex. j _ I_2 “The American -Wage-worker. T. P Drayer, of Hanover. r " " i “” “The Higher Selfishness,” C. M. Hubbard, of Indiana University. “Industrial Freedom,” Miss E. Jean NelsoD, of DePauw. The judges on delivery were Lewis H. Jones, Smiley N. Chambers and Albert G. Porter; on composition they were G. W. Grubbs, W. O. Thompson and W. W. Parsons. XVhen the committee had counted the votes DePauw (Miss Nelson) stood first. Wabash second, Franklin third, Hanover fourth, Butler fifth, and the State University sixth. The students of DePauw went wild when the decision was announced. Miss Nelson is a native of Putnam county and is nineteen years of age. THE INDIANAPOLIS STREET CAB STRIKE. It is believed the Street Gar in Indianapolis has been permanently settled. Immediately after the resumption of the management to succeed the receiver, PresidentFrenzel received from the Brotherhood eight demands which it made of him. These demands included the reinstatement of five discharged members’ rides at all times, and increased wages. Mr. Frenzel and the Brotherhood committee reached a compromise Friday, which was ratified by the Brotherhood Saturday morning, and it is believed a continuation of the strike has been averted. The agreement between the parties has not been made public exce p that the company agreed to the re-em-ployment of the discharged men. It is known also that the badges will not be given to the men, nor is it probable that the wages were increased. The brotherhood claim that six of their eight demands were granted. This does not seem to be the case. Great relief is felt at Indianapolis over the settlement of the trouble.

SCRAPS.

“How do I stand with your father?” he asked. “I don’t think, George?” she answered, after some thought, “that you had better staud at all when you are with father. Yo,u had better run.” The Difference—“ Would jmu like to live in a flat?” he asked, thinking to pave the way to a more vital question. “I wouldn’t like to live on one, ” she said, and so broke his train of thought. Second Thought—She (after he has stolen a kiss) —I am surprised, sir. I never thought that of you. I never thought you would dare. (Silence > I didn’t think you had that much snimk. —■_ Carruthers—rl hear that Mr. Pruyn was unable to s«t 'Towser on you Waite —Yes, the dog has a fellow feeling for me. You see, the old man had done some kicking in that quarter, too. ••

THE MARKETS.

Indianapolis, Mar. 15. 1803. [All quotations for Indianapolis wlien not specified. GRAIN.) Wheat—No. 2 red,,9oc; No. 3 red. 8614 c; rejected, 80<®85c; unmerchantable,6s@7sc; wagon* w.beai, 90c. Corn—NW»*vhite,42c;No. 2 white mixed, 40c- No;. 3 .white, 40(a)41c, No. 2 yellow, 40c;* No. 3 yellow, 39Xc; No. 2 mixed,4oc; No. 3 mixed, 39>£c: ear, 38)<c. Oats—No. 2 white,33c; No. 3 white,32j4c; No. 2 mixed, 31>£c; rejected, 29c. Hay— L’imothy, choice, sl2; No. 1.11U25; No. 2, $9; No. 1 prairie, $7.50; No. 2, $0.50; mixed hay, $7.50; clover, $9.00. Bran, $14.50 per ton. I Wheat. | Corn. Oats. |‘ Rye. Chicago.,..:.. 2 r’d 41 29&f......., Cincinnati.... 2 l-’d 93)4 43 3!'/, bit St. Louis ;2r'd») 37 30(4 84 New York.... 2 r’d 1 03 49« 33(4 98 Baltimore....* 101 493* 37(4 97 Philadelphia. 2 r’d 101 47 36 Clovt* Seen. 1 Toledo 94 42 32 7 25 Detroit. I wh 92 42'/, 33)4 ! Minneapolis.. 82‘4 CATTLE. ! Export grades $4 40134*35 j Good to choice shippers . 3 Fair to medium shippers 3 4(%3 70 ‘ Common shippers 2 75(0!3 50 Feeders, good to choice 3 40@3 80 i Stockers, common to good 3 ■ Good to choice heifers 3 257®3 75 ; Fair to medium heifers........ 2 65(<g3 0) Common, thin heifers.. > 2 00(g2 4) Good to choice cows 3 15(cC3 50 Fair to medium cows 2 50@2 8> Common old cows 1 23(g>2 no Veals, common to good 4 00ca5 5) Bulls, common to medium.... 1 Bulls, good to choipe 2 75@3 50 Milkers, good to choice 30 00(34000 | Milkers, common to medium.. 15 00@2300 ao«s. Heavy packing and shipping. $4 75@5 05 Lighbs.. 4 65(®4 95 Mixed 4 65(0)4 >J3 Heavy r0ugh5..,,.,. 3 50@4 09 SHUT. Good to choice ..»S4 75@5 25 Fair to medium 4 OUCg4 50 Common to medium... 3 25@3 .5 Lambs, good to choice 5 25 >9* 00 • Lambs, common to medium 4 0 (<*s 00 Bucks, V head uyy •• 3 50® ,oO MISCELLANEOUS. Eggs, 12c; butter, creamery, 25®30c: dairy, 20c; good country, 14&16c; feathers, ..Me; beeswax. 35@40c; wool, unwished, hens, 9c; turkeys,TOc; clover.

CONDIMENTS.

Men of positive convictions—Statl prison inmates. Men who lay wagers hatch disappointments. The dressmaker deals in figures rather than facts. Half a loaf is better than a railroad sandwich. One of the hardest lines of duty to a woman is the clothes line. A clever woman listens to compli. There is always a hand of welcome ready to be offered to the strange umbrella. out the man whose dognever wants to follow him —[Ram’s Horn. When you are betting on an absolutely sure thing save out five cents for car-fare home. A Strong Witness.—Judge-“Have you any witnesses for yourself?” Prisoner—“ Yes, sor, meself.” > When you open a window on the railway train tne first thing to catCa your eye~is a cinderr-r Electricity isGa great educator. Think what it has done to make men see things in a new light. A Boston dancing teacher had made an assignment. IJe should know how to meet reverses. My son, do not put your into a general conversation of sensible people, unless you have a good skull. Wales now styles himself “Edward VII.” His elevation to the throne would perhaps be styled “VII.-up.” Perverse Woman. —The girl who “wouldn’t marry the best on earth” generally marries one of the worst. Cowper says: “Bovs are at best but pretty buds unblown.” When the boys begin to blossom they ard rum fellows. Greenland has no cats. How thankful the Greenlanders should be. Imagine cats in a country where the nights are six months long. It’s mighty hard to know sometimes what to do in this world. A pretty girl is Draised, but a young man is blamed, fdr being fresh. “Wasn’t it awful? She married a poor dry goods clerkl” “Yes; but just think how handy he will be to send down town to match goods!” “Do you find it hard work to pass the weary hours?” “There aint none of ’em weary enough for me to pass ’em.” rejoined Mr. Hungry Higgins. —lndianapolis Journal. Philosophy is a great help to a man in time of trouble, but it is an asset that his creditors don’t value, no matter how much they may need some of it. He Was in a Hurry.—Patsey McKenna (in an electric, which has broken down) —“Well, av this car don’t be after moving soon, oi’ll talce the one behoint.” Miss Von Gimp —“I would’t marry the best, man living.” Dr. Perkins — “No —ah —er —perhaps not, bnt —er —that is really no obstacle to your marriage with. me. ” • . . V~: '7 I cannot sing the old songs I sang a -while ago, For If I do the ‘other-guests Quickly get up and go. -T" ' •

There was once a maid in Hoboken, Who gave her botrothed as a token, Some cabbage bananas Wf; -ishe said were ‘'Havanas;”— The engagement that was now .is broken. ! —New York World. “Young Gonbrook strikes me as rather an agreeable young man. " “Wait till he gets a. little better acquainted with you, and he’ll strike you as he does me—for an X.” Mudge—“What a parodox woman is 1” Wickwire — ‘ ‘Yon—don’t —say?” Mudge—“Consider her foot, for instance. The larger it is, the less it appears. ” —lndianapolis Journal “I do wish,” said Rastus, scratching his head, thoughtfully, “I do wish dat wizzard Edison would invent a sort o’ cow-catcher fo 1 de rear eend of dem animiles called de mule.” — Harper’s Bazar. “So you want to go before the footlights?” said the manager, grimly. “Yes,” said thfe'aspiring youth. “Well, you want to be quick, then,” said the manager. “I’m pretty quick With my foot.” “As you make your bed you must lie in it,” said the politician to the candidate, “That’s all right” replied the candidate. “Don't let that worry you. You do the making and I’ll attend to the lying.” Intuition. —Fangle—“What sort of a dress was that Mrs. Snooper wore to-night?” Mrs. Fangle—“Demitrain.” “That's precisely what Oumso said when he trod on it, but how did he know its name?” Hotel Clerk —“Is thiß thousanddollar bill the smallest thing you have about yoil?” Departing Guest —*T am afraid it, is.” Clerk (to bell boy) —“Here, take this bill out to one of the waiters and ask him to change it. ”

Creditor. —“It’s no wonder I can’t find you at home when you are here all the time in the saloon' drinking.” Debtor —“Don’t you see that the reason I drink is out of sheer despair at not being able to pay you^’•. Smith —Did you reply ti) one of those personal advertisements? Brown — Yes, I once answered one from a lady who pined for congenial companionship. Smith —With what result? Brown—She turned “out to b§ Mrs. Brown. After the Quarrdl. —He —Maud, I should like to walk home with you, tj if you will let me. She (coolly)—' You may, if papa gives his permission. He—All right. I’ll ask him. Where is he? She—He went to Chicago last pight.— Harper’s Ba*ar..