Rensselaer Republican, Volume 23, Number 47, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 July 1891 — CONDIMENTS. [ARTICLE]

CONDIMENTS.

It never does anybody any good tc give away rotten apples. Walking the plank is not the same as making a board walk, A grocer calls his new brand ol coffee “Greditor-s Delight.'’ It set ties promptly. She —Is Jack trying for the chorus" He —Well, he must be if they arc at all sensitive. “Ha! That’s the ‘stuff’ ’’ said the Minneapolis baldhead, gazing at thi the ballet-girls’ limbs. “Who was the author of the say iug, ‘There is always room at thi top ?’ ” ‘ ‘The hotel clerk,,. I. believe.' We are told that some day the lioi and the lamb will lie down together but at this season it is the butchei who is doing the most lying abou the iamb. ‘’Where is the quartermaaster o this car?” shouted the army officer, and the porter knocked over thre< umbrellas and broke two windows ii his anxiety to respond. If everybody improved the rain utes with the zeal that a hen put iuto her work while making ; surreptitious five-minute call in ; flower-garden, what a world thi would be! First Wretch—How's your wife old man? Second Wretch —Splendid Bad cold; can’t speak above a whis per. Nut An Extract Race —Suuda; , S •iiool Teacher —Johnny, who wa ! the prodigal son? Johnny —Oh, thi: was the fellow who went away a dud and came back a tramp.