Rensselaer Republican, Volume 23, Number 46, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 July 1891 — A SAMOAN STRATAGEM. [ARTICLE]

A SAMOAN STRATAGEM.

Capt. Yon Treunfels, commanding the corvette Venus, stationed at Apia, was as proud of the fair name of his ship as of his own aristocratic cognomen. Every Sunday he inspected all parts of the vessel, and officers and men trembled before his searching glance, for the smallest speck of dirt was sure to bring a thunderstorm upon the : r heads. “Venue was no cow-giri. but the goddess of beauty, and his majesty’s ship that bore her name should be a •floating palace and not a pigsty. Understand?” They could not well help understanding this broad hint, and would have been heartily glad if the examination had stopped at the point, but next eamethe inspection of the men themselves, and any one whose dress and bearing were not faultless could spare, himself the trouble of asking for leave of absence for the next month at least. Much as the Captain loved neatness, however, he was still more particular on the subject of good benavior, and especially sobriety, a not too iommoa virtue among sailors. A man coming on board drunk after leave of absence might rest assured that he would not set foot on thore again during the cruise, and the Captain took care that no one should nave any opportunity of becoming intoxicated on board ship. He occasionally allowed a glass of strbg'duribg bad weather and very hard work, but at other times not even the steward dared take a drop. But, despite all his precautions, the Captain had on several occasions suspected that some of his men were aot quitesober. He at once doubled the watches on both main and gun leeks, and the boats’ crews of the ather vessels in the harbor, as well as the Samoans, were greatly surprised when, on approaching the Venus, they saw a man armed with i naked sword thrust his head and ihoulders from every porthole and ♦xamine them very minutely. The leek watch, too, stared hard at the innocent boats, for section 1 of the regulations said: “See that no liquor s brought on board.” It might be supposed that the men who went on shore could bring back any quantity of spirits very easily, if ihey had not been thoroughly searched ou coming on board. The laptain made them turn out their sockets,and even take off their shoes, out he never found any liquor and Always went away muttering: “I can sot understand it. ’ 1 One day the improvised fair on the gun-deck was especially lively. The Samoans had brought coral and shells, stuffed birds of gay plumage, tnd artistically wrought mats, weapsns, and idols. Others of the native displayed heaps of oranges and lemans. oocoanuts, bananas, and pinejpples, and, although they sold these very cheaply, they made a good proit, for the fruit was either taken from wild trees to which no one laid claim, ar obtained by night without the ’ormality of payment. The goodlatured fellows were equally careless ■about collecting the price of what hey sold, and, if they detected a >ailor s’yly abstracting a pineable or -wo, they either pretended not to see ihe theft or laughed as it were an excellent joke. Not so the pig-tailed sons of the Celestial empire, however. Adroit rascals themselves they were suspicious of everybody else, •»nd their sharp little eyes kept a constant watch uppn wares and buyers. They carefully test: 1 every piece of money offered in payment, Which so displeased the sailors that ihey would have refused to deal with ihe almond-eyed gentlemen except for the fact that the latter offered for tale many beautiful things which they could not obtaiu of the Samoans Only one of the Chinese condescended to soil cocoanuts, whereby he won ihe contempt of his countrymen, who "/nought suoh petty business only fit for the uncivilized natives. At 3 o’clock the active discipline of the ship was resumed, and the pedllers packed up their traps and departed. As the last one went over ihe side the captain, who had hitherto occupied a post from which he could see all that was going on, gave a sigh of relief and started to go to iiis cabin. On the steps he came into violent contact with a sailor, who immediate ! y turned and ran. The captain hastened after him, caught him by ihe arm, and cried: “Man, you have been drinking! Don’t deny it; I saw it at a glance/ No answer. ‘ ‘Will you speak or not? Where is the liquor?” “Nowhere, captain.” “Then you deny that you are drunk? Good! I will soon prove to you that you are. March to the hospital.” There was no escape. The captain escorted the culprit to the hospital -between decks, where patients and nurses sprang up in-, surprise when they saw the oommander. “Nurse, tell*the surgeon to come here at once.” - “Aye, aye, captain.” □ The surgeon appeared and was astounded by the question: “Doctor, is this man drunk?" “That I cannot say at a glance." “Then examine him, and quickly.” The young looked into the “patient’s" eyos, felt his pulse, and laid his hands on his temples. But the man’s breath happened to reach his nostrils and left him in no doubt that the xtpiain’s suspicious were well founded. The surg»on knew, how severe the oaptain could be in such a case and mod to shield the man from punishment

“I cannot determine with certainty, captain; - said he. ‘*Ho! Then I will show you how to do so, although I am no physician. Pay attention, doctor.” Then, turning to the saMor, he cried: “Stand stiil!" The man set his teeth and stood like a post. -■* “Arms forward, elbows raised, finger-tips together!" “Do you see, doctor, how he rocks? His fingers tremble so that he cannot keep them together. That is an infallible sign of intoxication. The physicians may hot know it, but I do. and I tell you the man is drunk.” ‘The ship rolls,” groaned the poor wretch, who was now swaying like a reed. “No; the ship is quiet enough, but you roll. Where is the liquor, man?” “I don’t know, captain.” Such a storm followed this answer that the sick men left their beds and crawled away in terror,but the sailor obstinately denied his guilt and the captain saw that even the rack would not extort a confession. The man was set at liberty,for the captain’s sense of justice would not permit the punishment of one whose guilt was not proved. “But I will get to the bottom of this matter yet, ” said the captain as he went off to his oabin. But a week later the memory of this occurauce was driven out or the minds of the captain and the ship’s company by an event of far greater importance. The Venus, which had cruised two years in the Pacific, was ordered home. The people of Apia were much grieved,for the blue-jack-ets had spent a great deal of money in the place, and the islanders had come to regard {the ship as a permanant source of revenue. The peddlers drove a thriving business during the few remaining days. The sanors bought writing papers to send home word of their approaching return and laid in a stock of tobacco and cocoanuts for the voyage. One purchased a gay mat for mother’s “best” room, another a grinning • idol for a curiosity-loving uncle, and a third bought a red silk kerchief for his sweetheart, who was awaiting him iu happy ignorance of his flirtations with the chocolatecolored damsels of Samoa. ... Tue readiest sale, however, was commanded by the cocoanuts, and the captain was pleased to see that his men were so fond of this refreshing and innocent fruit. He was much astonished to hear the Chinese cocoanut seller demand half a dollar apiece for the nuts. “Half a dollar?” cried the sailor. “You must be crazy, my lad.” “Not to muchee, insisted the celestial. “Lookee here, large one. The dispute, which was carried on in a choice mixture of Plattdeutsch and pigeon English, ended by the Chinaman accepting a quarter of a dollar for the nut.

“Sheer extortion,:’ thought the captain, but on coming nearer he saw that the nuts were large and handsome and determined to buy some for his own use. “Don’t disturb yourselves, lads,” he said good-humoredly, as the men shrank away at his approach. But they kept at a distance and looked so terrified that theeaptain reproached himself with having earned too great a reputation for severity and vowed that he would be more lenient in the future. The Chinaman with an obsequious grin offered the captain the smallest nuts in his stock. “But I want big cues,”* said the captain. “No goodee, no goodee,” said the Chinaman,. “Nonsense! Why not?” “No goodee. Little ones muchee better.” This disinterested advice was only wasted, however. lor the captain threw down a silver dollar and selecting the four largest nuts had them conveyed to his cabin. Shortly afterward the Chinaman packed up his wares and departed, although it wanted an hour of the time for clearing the ship. The Captain observed with surprise that the sailors still seemed to be afraid of him. They certainly had no reason, for he was in excellent humor. He even had impulses of benevolence.

“Haven’t you got money enough?” he asked of an old sailor whom he saw laying down, with a shake of the head, a pretty carving in wood. “Not by two dollars.” “Here they are.” The man was almost petrified with astonishment; he muttered a eon* fused speech of thanks and quickly hid his treasure under his jacket. He felt tempted to kiss the Captain’s hand, but refrained from so unseamanlike an action. 1 In another week the Venus was steaming homeward. The tropical sun seemed bent on giving her an especially warm farewell, and the men were nearly overcome by the heat. The guards at the water tanks had hard work to protect their charge from the thirsty crew, and the Captain loi ged for a oooling drink. But beer ana wine were blood-warm, and the ice machine was out of order. “Useless piece of iron,” growled the captain. “I will have it thrown overboard to-morrow.” Suddenly an idea came to him. “Steward!" “Aye, sir.” “Bring me one of the cocoanuts that I bought in Apia." The nut was brought and the Captain prepared to attack.it with knife and jfirolet. “1 am glad that I bought the things,” said he, “for ooooanat milk Is very refreshing. The sailors were

wise in buying so many. Hello! It is plugged. The Chinaman must' have tested it to see if it was ripe. Cunning rascal, that!” The captain extracted the plug. Then he drew a long breath, threw back his head, raised the oocoanut in both hands and applied the orifice to his lips. * The next instant he sprang back as if a scorpion had stung him. He coughed and sputtered and his eyes filled with tears. “Donnerwetter! What is that? It tastes like rum. Steward a glass. ” When the nut was held over the glass a dark liquid flowed out. Rum it was without doubt. “So!” cried the captain falling helplessly into a chair. “Now I understand it all.” Five minutes later ail the men were ordered to bring their chests on deck, and then followed such au inspection as had never occurred before, even on the Venus. The captain did not stop with the chests but went below and examined the hammocks, the berths and even the coal bunkers. Nobody but the steward knew what he was looking for, and as nothing was found the captain kept silent, unwilling to admit that he had been outwitted. The sailors had taken good care that the cocoanuts should not turn sour. A few minutes later three cocoanuts and fragments of the fourth were bobbing up and down in thi wake of the ship. Perhaps the waves threw them on the beach of some island whose inhabitants repeated \he captain's experiment. If so, what a charming study for a painter their faces must have been.