Rensselaer Republican, Volume 23, Number 44, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 July 1891 — CONDIMENTS. [ARTICLE]

CONDIMENTS.

Sworn off —The tight boot. The West Point cadet defines a kiss as a report at headquarters. One of the barbarisms—Toasting the ladies in hot weather. Seattle, Wash., is somehow suggestive of unpaid laundry bills. It isn’t definitely known yet how fur the seal negotiations have got. Take a lesson from the strawberry box. It is never full. The man who was hit by a rifle ball said that it was announced by a bulletin. It is a very commendable thing, no doubt, for a donkey to endeavor to talk horse. Reciprocal Favors—“ Your back hair *is falling off.” “Thanks; your front teeth are dropping out. ” A Vermont flrm is manufacturing 200 dozen door-knobs a day. That might properly termed a “knobby turnout. ’ Cribbens takes a good deal of interest in his business. ’ ’ ‘ ‘Never less than 10 per cent," replied Charlie Cashgo. Consistent throughout—He: “She is, par excellence, a woman of fashion.” She: “Yes; she doesn’t even wear the same complexion twice.” Madge—“Do you like our new minister’s preaching?” Millicent—“No, but I think his side whiskers are perfectly thrilling.” A Scotchman, who wanted to light his pipe, accosted a countryman,who was plowing, with: “Hac ye got a licht, Tonal?” “Hi, Tugal, but it’s oot.” “My social instincts are always very strong,"said the policeman. "It gives me intense satisfaction to meet a good clubable fellow.”