Rensselaer Republican, Volume 23, Number 42, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 18 June 1891 — Testing His Whistle. [ARTICLE]

Testing His Whistle.

Cttba’s tobacco crop is said to be magnificent. - . . O’Shea has been granted an absolute divorce from Mrs. O'Shea the woman to whom Parnell owes his downfall. ——————— Dynamite is said not to be dangerous to handle if caps and black powcer are kept away from it. We prefer to keep all of them—dynamite, caps and black powder —at a distance. Chicago is again to the front. It ought to reproduce its recent duel “just as it occurred” for the entertainment of the Worlds Fair visitors. Almost everything of interest now-a-days seems destined to be captured for that event. The Prince of Wales, it is said won £200,000 on the **3rby. two weeks ago, when Common pulled in ahead of all starters. The debtors of the Prince, if this is true, will not be included in the most pronounced opponents of race track gambling. The fact that Mr. McKinley is to be nominated for Governor makes the tariff the great issue in the Ohio canvass this year. State elections in that locality usually turn on national rather than local concerns, but in 1891, for obvious reasons, this peculiarity of Buckeye politics will be more manifest than in ordinary State campaigns. We shall have to admit that there was nothing slow about the methods of President Marsh and Assistant Cashier Lawrence, of the Keystone National Bank, even though they were Philadelphians. Their method of rascality was delightfully simple. Before the Bank Examiner commenced his work these ingenius gentlemen would remove whole leaves from the individual deposit ledger. After the examination cf the book these leaves would be reinserted. The effect of this work would be to show that the deposits were much less than they really were. “This,” said the BankJExaminer, touchingly, “is an unheard-of method in bank wrecking.

The Prince of Wales is not only in that financial state commonly described as "hard up,” but positively bankrupt. His royal mother has just consented to relieve him of some of his burden of debts, on condition that what she advances now shall be withheld from his portion of her savings at her death. Albert Edward twits the old lady with her niggardliness, and says he ought to have a more liberal allowance, inasmuch as he has for years been compelled to live beyond his means while doing much of her work for her. The relations between mother and son are decidedly strained at present. Meantime the Prince's health is breaking and he is ageing rapidl v. The statement that the number of vacant lieutenancies in the army is much greater than the number of members of the next graduating class at West Point, and that many appointments will be made from civil life, sets one to thinking. Why would it not be better justice and better policy to promote deserving non-commissioned officers to these places? The suggestion would be met with disfavor by the present eQinmissioned officers of the service, who are jealous of anything that threatens the line of distinction between the elect and the non-elect, but the army is not maintained foj the pleasure of its officers, and the government could even afford to demolish an old-time prejudice if by so doing the service might be improved. To the civilian it seems certain that the intelligent non-commissioned officer would make a far better lieutenant than would any person with m experience of the profession of arms, and that the spirit of the men would be improved and the class of recruiu. bettered if it were known that the faithful and painstaking service might mean advancement to the horor of shoulder straps.

In the train—“ Georgie, Georgie! mind, your hat will be blowu off if you lean so far out of the carriage.'’ j Paterfamilias (quickly snatching lh< hat from the head of refractory young ster and hiding it behind his back) “There, now, tne hat has gone!” Georgie sets up a howl. After t while his father remarks: “Come. quiet; if I whistle your hat will conn back again.*’ (Whistles and replaces hat on boy’s bead.) There, it’s baeli again, you see!” While the parents are engaged it conversation Georgie throws his hat out of the window, and says: “Pa whistle againl”—San Francisco Argo aaut -v