Rensselaer Republican, Volume 23, Number 41, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 June 1891 — Simpson’s Boy and the Dog. [ARTICLE]

Simpson’s Boy and the Dog.

Chio&fe Tribune. A youn’g man who isi not noted for his originality, but is liked tor his good nature was at the house of an intimate friend the other day for dinner. The young lady of the house

bantered him to tell a story and requested that he tell something new. She had a friend to dinner and wanted her entertained. “Did you hear the story about Simpson’s boy and the dog?” asked the young man with a drawl. They had not,but they knew it was the same as the other dog stories they had heard, where the boy fell in the water and the dog dragged him out. They were wrong. “111 tell you how it was,” he said. “The boy and the dog went down to the lake and were playing together. The dog got too near the water and /ell in; see? Simpson’s boy couldn’t swim a lick; see? And so what does he do?” “Who, the dog or Simpson's boy?” asked the girls. “Why, the boy,” replied the story teller, “what does he do?” “You mean what, did the dog do?” - “No, the boy—Simpson’s boy.” The girls looked at each other and then at the story teller as if they were not quite sure he was right in his head. <• “You say he couldn't swim?” asked one of the girls. “That's what.” 4i That is, the dog?” asked the other

girl- “ Right. The dog couldn't swim; see?’’ “I thought you said that Simpson’s boy couldn't swim,” said the girl with a memory for details. “Well, I did: neither could the dog.” “Well, this is the funniest story that I ever heard,” said the home girl. “Reminds me of a story a gentleman friend told me when he was at our house in New York,” said the risiting girl. “Tell us all about it. You say the dog fell into the water; that Simpson's boy couldn’t swim, and that the dog couldn’t swim,” “The dog drowned,” was the explanation. “Of course. But what became of the poor little boy?” asked the girl from New York.

“You mean Simpson’s boy?’’ “Yes, Mr. Simpson's little boy,” said the New York girl. “Say,” said the man, “howdid you get it into your head that Simpson’s boy was little?” “Why, you said he went down to the lake to play with the dog, and I do not suppose that any big boy would do that. ” “Well, he was no kid: he was a full-grown boy. He was the first boy in our class to plav hookey this season.” “But what became of him after his dog was drowned?” What did he do then?” she asked as she assumed a Grecian attitude. “He bought another dog.”

The Advance in Paper Making. In an interview with Col. A. G. Payne, of the New York and Pennsylvania Company, by a representative of the Paper Trade News relative to the prices for soda fiber, Mr. Payne, who was a pioneer in the business, said: “I remember when soda fiber brought 13 cents; that was about eighteen years ago, when it was first used for paper. It is now quoted at 3| cents. The Y ary an system revolutionized the cost of recovering soda ash by cheap evaporation. Until recently this system was used by Americans only, but now they have adopted it abi-oad and are using it at Glasgow. Everything is cheaper to-day in the manufacture of soda fiber than it was in the old times, except wood and labor, and it was natural for the decrease in the cost of the production to be accompanied by a falling off in the price of the product. The manufacture of chemical fiber has become a great industry, and the fiber itself is used more in the manufactux-e of good book paper than ever before. There were only two mills which manufactured chemical fiber at the start, and they produced twelve tons daily, whereas the total monthly product now foots up to fifteen million pounds. This increase does not seem so great, however, when we consider that a fiveton paper mill in the early days was a big thing, whereas to-day mills with an output of thirty or forty tons are common."