Rensselaer Republican, Volume 23, Number 35, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 April 1891 — Lem Hill's Funeral. [ARTICLE]

Lem Hill's Funeral.

Another of the queer characters in White Horse camp wa3 a man known at Lem Hill. He was,says the New Sun,as mild asbnttermilk and as dull at a hoe, and no one ever thought of asking his advice or interesting themselves in bis affairs. One day ha took sick, and after a period lasting about three weeks it was seen that hej must die. It was deemed best that some one should break the news to him, and so “Judge" Kelso dropped In and said; “Lem, you are going to turn up your toes before another sunrise?” The Judge didn't mean to be sutb den or unfeeling, but that was hit whjl _ -- •*F guess I am, quietly replied Lem. “Well, that pint being settled and no exceptions taken, what last request hev ye got to make? We want to dg the fair thing, you know, although it’t a busy time.” “Kin 1 hev a funeral!" queried Lem. “You kin.” “Keg’lar procession?” “Yes." I don’t expect any coffin, of course, but I'd like to hev the affair pulled off reasonably decent. You kin plant me on the hill beside the Frenchman. I guess we won t quarrel." “Yes, we’ll do that, though it’s purty hard diggin’ up thar.” “Needn’t mind going over a couple of feet,” said Lem, “and the fellers with the body had better take the lefthard path as they go up; it’s easier t« climb.” “Got any wealth?” asked the judge! after a moment’s silence. “A oouple of ounces, mebbe." “Mighty slim show for a big spread on that, but we can’t help it Well, Lem, it’s my busy day, you know, and 1 must cut this short Hope you won’t take offense.” “Oh, certainly not Don’t neglect work on my account Suthin’ «ai<l ad tho grave?” “Just a few words, Lem, and I'll say ’em myself. I’ll practice up this afternoon and git some whisky to cleat my throat I want to make a decent job of it” “What’ll you say?” “Why, that you died happy—bet left an aching void—we shall all mis* ? r ou—cut down in yer prime. Til lay t on purty thick.” “.Well, I’m sure I couldn’t ask for more, and perhaps it’s better than ] could expect So long, judge. Ga back to your work, and I’ll go on with my dying.” And the judge- left,the Pbenty whittling as was his wont and Lem had been dead over an hour before word came to us down in the gulch. Tbs funeral came off the next morning, and it has always been a pleasant remembrance with me that the judge did considerable better than he agreed to. He gave two eulogies in place of one, and after the burial he licked one of the men who wouldn’t knock off work to attend. .