Rensselaer Republican, Volume 23, Number 2, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 September 1890 — Josh Billings’ Philosophy. [ARTICLE]

Josh Billings’ Philosophy.

The less a man knows, the more he will guess at; and guessing iz nothing more than suspicion. Going tew law iz like skinni.ig a new milch cow for the hide, and giving the meat tew the lawyers. Death, tew most ov us, iz a kind ov -•-• farewell benefit!’-—“positively our last appearance.” Phools axe quite often like hornets —verry bizzy, but about what the Lord only knows. Living an Hope, iz like living •‘bn wind—a good way tew git phull, but a poor way tew git phatt. Thare are but few men weak enough taadmit their jealousys; even a disgraced rooster in a barn-yard will git a little further off and begin tew crow up a new reputashun. I alwus did admire the malice ov the mule. If a freak ov fortune had made me as unfortunate among men az the mule iz amung animals. I would begin to kick at things a mile and a haff off. M en~no ~ doubt“ of th<snf suckcess in this world tew chance; but chances don’t go for a man-—the man must go for the chances. We speak of “falling in love,” without always thinking that iz the only way tew git in love; we all stumble into it, and kan seldom tell how or why. Econeme iz simply the art ov gitting the wuth ov our money. More men have been burnt at the stake for serving the Lord than for serving the devil, and thare alwus will be.