Rensselaer Republican, Volume 22, Number 44, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 July 1890 — JOSH BILLINGS' PHILOSOPHY [ARTICLE]

JOSH BILLINGS' PHILOSOPHY

Contentment iz mere instinkt. Reazon teaches us that thare ain’t sich a thing in this world. About az good a way az enny tew learn people tew respekt yu iz tew run over them; if you let them run over yu they certainly won’t. I hope I shall never hav so mutch reputashun that I sh'n't feel obliged tew be alwus civil. Thare seems to be this difference between an old widower and an old bachelor—the widower livs upon faith, and the bachelor on hope; and this ac~ kounts for the widower alwus beating the bachelor in a ring fight for the hand ov buty. Marrying tew suit other folks iz the prudery ov politeness. I should az soon think ov begging pardon ov a thorn for running against it Fashions are made for sum folks, and sum folks are made for fashions. Those people who have a grate deal of perfekt propriety I notice don’t hav mutch of ennything else. • Tew enjoy a good reputashun, giv publickly, and steal privately. Ad Englishman oorrekts his mistakes before he makes them; a Yankee afterwards. \ I hav a dredful poor opinyun ov all religious treads. - A man who depends upon a creed tew keep him pious iz no better than he whom the penalty far stealing keeps out ov jail.—New York Weekly.