Rensselaer Republican, Volume 22, Number 38, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 May 1890 — A MAN OF FEW WORDS. [ARTICLE]

A MAN OF FEW WORDS.

How Old Simmons Secured the Clerk That Suited Him Exactly. Old Simmons advertised for a secretary, and when a young man presented himself the old fellow looked at him sharply and, in a gruff voice, asked: ‘•Well, sir, what can you do?” "Don’t know exactly—haven’t sized myself up in a complete way yet, but I think that I can manage to hold my end up.” "Yes. you think so. Now, sir, I want a man to do my writing, and I want him to beaman of judgment. Do you understand?” "Yes.” "I don’t want any namby-pamby ‘ellows about me. I want a man to catch my ideas at Once, and in expressing them to my correspondents to use as few words as possible.” "Think I’m your man, sir.” ‘*l don't want any scallops, underhand. I want plain words—want a -pade to be called a spade.” "All right, sir, and if I don’t suit you I don’t think there is anybody that san.” "What is your name?” "Spires.” "Very good, Mr. Spires, you may go lo work:”

When the old man took up the first ■ otter that Spires had written he looked at it a moment and then uttered an ingry exclamation. "Why, what do you mean here? After signing my tame you have put the word ‘Sweats.’ A’hat did you do that for?” "Why, to carry out your idea of ■ailing a spade a spade, for, instead )f saying per Spires, I have simply said Sweats, which, you know, means the same thing, expressed in a simpler way." ‘ ‘Mr. Spires, ” said the old man, and his voice trembled, "I shall take you nto full co-partnership at once. Mr. Spires, I have a beautiful daughter, sir. Come with me to my home.”