Rensselaer Republican, Volume 22, Number 35, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 May 1890 — He Will Ba Soon Hers. [ARTICLE]

He Will Ba Soon Hers.

Texas Siftings. * .7 Presently the census-talker will be around, book and pencil in hand, and conversations like the following will be in order. Census-talker—“ Have you children? Woman—“ Yes. a son!” Census-talker—“ Male orfemale?” Womad—“Male.” Census-talker— ‘ ‘Age ?” Woman— 1 ‘Two years and a half.” Census-Talker—“Married or single?” Woman—“ Single.” Census-talker (closing book) — ‘ ‘Thats all right. Thanks. ” {Catering to a Trade. New York Weekly. First Paris Artist— ‘ ‘Vy you put zat salt in ze paint?” Second Artist— • *Ect is for & marine picture. I make zee paint salt; zen when ze Americans put air fingers on ze water and afterwards put zair fingers to zair lips say. *Ect is wonderful! Ye almost taste ze salt of ze ocean.’ Zen zey buy.” “The world grows weary praising men, And wearied grows of being praised— ’’ But never wewiei grows the pen Which writes the truths which have amazed the thousands who have been given up by their physicians and who have been restored to complete health by using that safest of all remedies for functional irregularities and weaknesses, which are the bane of womankind. We refer, of eonrse, to Dr. Pierce’s Favorite Prescription, the only guaranteed cure for all those ohronio ailment* peculiar to women. Read the guarantee on the bottle wrapper. To regulate the stomach, liver and bowels, Dr. Pierce 1 * Pellets excel. One a dose. When the impecunious man takes his watch to the pawnbroker’s he realizes that time is money. No stranger should leave the city without a box of “Tansfil’s Punch” 60. Cigars. Though time flies it is the man who goes •low, who keeps up with it. Bead DR. BABBmt‘3 ad. in onetker column.