Rensselaer Republican, Volume 22, Number 20, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 January 1890 — Humorous Ideas. [ARTICLE]

Humorous Ideas.

A bouncing baby should be imbued with elastic spirits. A man who wants to get at the root of a matter is not neccessarily a hog. Contracting a disease instead of really contracting it expands it. Experience in business teaches a man that too many debtors don’t pay. Some of the best people in the country put up with me, said the pawnbroker. ' , The ‘ ‘blues" are caused by the mind growing tired of its physical habitation and trying to get up a housecleaning. It is not enough to be ready to go where duty calls. An officer should stay around where he can hear the call. After a man has finished putting up his stove-pipe the family parrot has to he kept out of the room when the minister calls. Mrs. Sillibus says she ‘ ‘always likes to see a olergyman in the pulpit with his surplus.” Always think before you speak. Very often you do wisely to take it all out in thinking. If evervmanhad to follow4iis“oWS" advice nine out of ten of us would stop giving it. We import $2,500,000 worth of eggs annually, when we ought to eggsport them. ■ :s A Massachusetts artisan has become so refined in his ideas that he calls, himself a blaek-symthe. A new poet whose verse is attracting attention in the West is 6 feet 6 inches in his stockings. A veritable long fellow. The elevator hoy does not lose his head the moment he gets up in the world. He knows he must go right down again. It is perfectly natural that the wee sma 1 hours should creep, but it takes a poet to understand how they creep apace. M. Peretti has written a book to prove that Columbus was a Corsican. We believe it, for when Isabella asked him if, with the proceeds of her necklace, he could get down east by sailing west, he answered: “Of course I can."