Rensselaer Republican, Volume 22, Number 16, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 December 1889 — CONDIMENTS. [ARTICLE]

CONDIMENTS.

Mudge—Peck, do you believe in sheol here on earth? Mr. N. Peck—No, 1 don’t believe in it, but I have got to stand it.—Terre Haute Express. Inez (telling of her yachting trip)— And all the way home we just hugged the shore. Young Saphead—Aw, do you know I would have been werry glad to have been the shore. Inez—Thanks, but the shore has lots of rocks; quite an attraction nowadays, as you are aware.—Kearney Enterprise. The Young Man (bitterly)—lf that is your final answer, Miss Cabiff, be it so! There is one refuge for the desperate soul—one last resting place for the broken heart! Farewell! The Young Woman (alarmed) —In mercy’s name, Mr. Kedjoe, what are you about to do? “l am going to offer myself to Victoria Polhemus!" (With a scream) “What! Throw yourself away on that vinegar-faced old stay, Charles! I—l ” Inventor—“l would like to get you interested in my improved fly-paper.” Capitalist— ‘ ‘What makes you think it will be successful?” Inventor--“ Because" it’s ‘gottAn iip~ in imitation of a bald head.” —Life. In a St Louis hospital a man recently had a dream which covered six months’ time and 10,000 miles of travel. There is a great deal of sightseeing embraced in a drink of St. Louis whisky.—Chicago Herald. Yabsley- -What has become of old man Figg? I never hear of him any more. Is he dead? Wickwire—No, not exactly. His wife is keeping boarders.—Terre Haute Express. “No,” sobbed the widow, “I shall never find John’s equal; but p-perhaps I c-can find h-h-his equivalent’’—Harper’s Bazar. Mr. Stayathome—What are you going to do with the shears, John? John (just from England)—Hi’m goin’ to trim the hedge of the ’edge, air. Washing powders are strong alkalies, and ruin clothes. The purest soap obtain able is the best and cheapest. Dobbins' Electric Soap has been acknowledged for 24 years to be the purest of all. Try it right away. Senator-elect Pettigrew, of South Dakota, will be the youngest member of the distinguished body in which he is about tb take his seat. He Is only forty years of age. The next youngest Senator is Mr. Kenna, of West Virginia, who is forty-one, and was only thirty-five when first elected. A jolly boot—The craft of funny men. Oregon, tn« rzrzdiM oi Farmers. Mild, equable cl I mate, certain and abundant erouz. But fruit, grain, grass and stock country n the world. Full informati in free. Address he Oregon Immi<r»Uon Board. Portland, Ore.