Rensselaer Republican, Volume 22, Number 11, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 November 1889 — PIE VS. SOULFULNESS. [ARTICLE]

PIE VS. SOULFULNESS.

Feminine Charms That Could [Not Triumph Over Appetite. “Harold,” murmured the gentle girl, a tear dimming the lustre of the specj taeles that rested lightly on her classical Grteco-Bostonian nose, “I will not deny that our soul communion, our inI terchange of impressions, our mental ' symposia, not only specifically paleontological, but cosmical and metaphrastic in a general sense as well, have been pleasingly Emersonian. But you have taken advantage of a moment of perhaps unwonted soulfulness to endeavor to extort from me a pledge of earthly affinity. You seek to degrade —if I may use so strong a term—our essential psychomancy to the ultimate level of mere intersocial volition.” I “Waldonia!" exclaimed the youth, i “you misapprehend me. I ” 1 “Hear me out, Harold," she persisted. “I have confessed—that I feel drawn to you by many psychocentric influences. But there are other considerations. When two earthly lives assimilate there must be no clashing vagaries —no hygienic polemics. Harold,” she continued, in a trembling voice, “pardon the question—there is ■ so much at stake—but do you ever defile your immortal nature by eating pie?” The young man rose slowly to his feet and felt'uroTmdttT his hat.

“Waldonia,” he said in a voice of tragic misery, “the bitterest hour of I my life has come, but I cannot hesitate I a moment. I wouldn’t give pumpkin pie for the soulfulest young woman that ever squawked. Good evening,. Miss Ticklowell. ’ ’ The pale moon rose with the timid, abashed demeanor with which she always rises over Boston Harbor, and her rays shown mildly and pittyingly on a young man with his hat pulled down over his eyes who was striding down the street, going out of his way to kick savagely nt every lone and friendless dog in sight and talking vol- | übly and recklessly to himself in th* dialect of New York.