Rensselaer Republican, Volume 22, Number 10, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 November 1889 — TALK OF THE DAY. [ARTICLE]

TALK OF THE DAY.

The amateur photographer has very taking ways. Nothing will so soon make a man hot as cold treatment When a man “gives himself away* he naturally loses his self-possession* A squirrel—“ What are you doing tor a living?*' Another—“ Chestnuts!" The man who resolves to quit log must be in sober earnest Like many a young man, nature begins her fall by painting things red. It is very difficult to find a key to success that will work without a clique. Many who teach the young idea how to shoot, apparently don’t know that it's loaded. There is no full stop to the furnace in cold weather. It always requires the colon. A draught that neither cheers no r 'inebriates—The one supplied in the horse ears. An absolute vacuum has never been attained. It can exist only in your mind. Natalie’s reception in Belgrade is »nly another example of a queen bcat- & king. The watch trust is said to be breaking up. It is time. A great many other trusts, bv the way, need watching. ■ The first people to “elov ito the stage’’ were the highwayman. They werc-STrecessTuTTn “liolping it up." The woman who declares she wouldn't' marry the best man on earth often picks out one of the worst ones. Marry your sweetheart on her birthday. if you c in, young man. It will save you money every year in anniversary presents. If we didn’t have any rent to pay, and didn’t need to eat anything in this world, what fine clothes might wear! Smokeless powder is au>ight,but the ends of science will not be achieved until some one produces a smoklcss cigarette. -- 7 -•--- ’“You seem at home here," remarked a man t the postplfice to the 'postmaster. “Yes.” replied the latter, “this is my stamping ground.” "Wives should never conceii anything from tneir husbands,” says a writer. But women will persist in having pockets in their dresses. Boston mother—“ But, my dear, I would not c ill him ‘Dick.’ ‘Richard’ sounds so much more dignified.” Ethel—“ True, mamma, but Ipse Dicks it” There are heavy-weight, champions and light-weight champions, but no one has yet succeeded in beating the grocer in the short-weight class. Tod—“l suppose the best way to find out whether she loves me is to go right up and ask her?” Ned—“ Not at all, my boy. Ask one of her girl friends.” It is rather late in the season to say it perhaps, but many an angler who fails to get a good mess follows the philosopner’s advice'and hires a/ haul. Mrs. Closehall —“Do you know that I’ve induced Mr. Ciosehal! to give up cigars?” Dovetail—“ Really? Why, l’re known him for ten years and I never saw him give up one yet.” Trusts, just now, are being squeezed. This is one reason why. in despite , of pessimistic warnings, the average young man continues to put his trust in lovely %voman. Smith--“ The City of Paris, I hear, consumes more coal than any other ship.” Jones- j “Tnat’s a mistake.”’' Smith—“ What ship beats it, then?” Jones —“Courtship.” He was innocent-?“ Uncle liastus‘, were the chickens you stole last night fat?” "fie man wat says I stole ’em breaks the truf all up! Dey win fie poorest fowls I ebor saw, boss.’’ You cannot always tell by the size of a man’s check how rich he is. It isn’t what ho draws out of the bank, but what he lets stay in. that may interest his creditors. Mrs. Pancake (to trump)—“Well, 1 what do you want ?" Tramp— ‘ ‘Hero, mum, is der pie I stold off yer window yesterday. There may be two or three , teeth stieken’ in it, but otherwise ’ ain’t hurt anyv”-—--“What are you doing now. Gus?” said one young man about town tc j another. “Oh, I write for a livin '-?' 1 “On the daily press?” “No: I write to father about twice a month for a remittance.” Prospective father-in-law -“How do you expect to get along without a salary if you are going to get Young Smiley Basker—“That is nut the ; point-how am I to get along if I don’t i get married?” A Detroit man who kissed a woman ' against her will and wrote poetry to her is being sued for SO,OOI damages. I The proportion is believed to be about : s follows: The kiss, ten cents; the poetry. $1,90!), 1)0. Just think of a Detriot widow suing for SO,<M), merely because she happen- : ©d to be kissed against her will! Il she is trying to set an example for the rest of the fair sOx of that city she will find out her mistake too quick. j Wife—“ James, do you know that you are a very small man?” Husband— j “How ridiculous! lam nearly six feet In height-” vt ife— “That m kos no difference; whenever 1 ask you for money to go shopping you are always short." Gratitude—Mr. Brown, (to stranger who has saved him from Crowning) “My dear, pool friend, Pit never forget you as long aa’l live! Come up to mv store and get some nice, clean, dry clothes; I’ll lot you have them as cheap as anybody." Family physician —“Nothing will do your daughter any good unless she controls her appetite for sweets and rich dishes. She must live on the plainest food, and very little of it, for months.”” Mother—“ Very well I’ll send her to the boarding school I used to attend. ” "Why do you doubt my word, Clara, when I tell you that I have eyes for no other woman but yourself? Why cannot you trust me?” “George,” replied the damsel, and her voice was serious even to gravity, “George, you know 1 abominate ail trusts and oombines Leave tap." „