Rensselaer Republican, Volume 21, Number 50, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 August 1889 — Marriage Is a Failure. [ARTICLE]

Marriage Is a Failure.

Springfield Union. When there is too much latchkey. When dinner is not ready at dinned time. When either of the parties marry for money. I When the watchword is, “Each foil himself.” When neither husband nor wife take! a vacation. When children are obliged to olamnif for their rights. When the vacations are taken by ohel side of the house only. When “he” snores the loudest while “she” kindles the fire. When the children are given the neck and the back of the chicken. - When a man attempts to tell Ids wife what style of bonnet she must wear. When one of the parties engages in a business that is not approved by the other. When a man’s Christmas presents to Us wife oonsist of bootjacks, shirts, and gloves lor himself, When politeness, fine msenom, and kindly attentions are reserved for com* paay or visits abroad. When the lord of creation pays move for cigars than his better half does for hosiery, boots, and bonnets. When the money that should go for s book goes for what only one side of the house knows anything about. W hen both parties persist in arguing over a subject upon which they nevei have and never oan think alike. When “father” takes half of the pit and leaves the other half for the one that made it and her eight children. It is an indisputable fact that there an many articles now in the market haying an extensive sale, which are used foi culinary purposes, that contain sub stances which are injurious to health. Baking powders containing alum, am< monia, etc. Dr. Price's Cream Bakin; Powder is known to be pure pad whole some. ' When you aay to a man with a boi on his seek, “This is a beautiful morning and all nature seems to be smiling,* you simply waste your breath.

He Didn’t Know. Stranger (In Chicago;—Will you please tali me where State street is? Chicago man (haughtily)—Madam, I am a detective.