Rensselaer Republican, Volume 21, Number 40, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 6 June 1889 — CONDIMENTS. [ARTICLE]

CONDIMENTS.

Cats flowere—Wall flowere. New wheat never ruined as many men as old rye. ■ ~ Nfo man ever had to be far seeing td see temptation. Blessings are nsnaUv and replenikh the earflb. Few men like to see a woman smoke yet they are always ready to helJr-frerTcT alight. After all, Assistant Postmaster Clark son appears to be the head officer in Washington^ The crab may think he has a ‘*soft snap” on tbe fat of your foot, but you never tbipk so. The Chinese are a very imitative people. This explains why they always stick to their euee. The announcement tjhat there is an over production of onions’ comes direct from trade scenters. It was a drunken gymnast of whom the policeman remarked that he was celling a tumbler full of whisky.^ Many are the curious things in life. Some wind up a clock to make it go, and you wind up a business to make it stop. - That Chicago Garter, who has’f been granted a divorce, must have experienced considerable whoa during his married life. It is when a landlord creeps throueh the barb wire fence of a delinquent , tenant that he is almost sure to get his back rent. Speaking of the weather, a warm spring may be anticipated when a man sits on a hot flat iron placed on a chair by his wife. “Prof. Wiggins lives away off in Canada,” says an exchange. And Canada is net the only thing Prof. Wiggins is away off in. A professional thiei is also an arithmetical paradox—he works out all his essays in addition and multiplication by means of substraction. Civilization will never be a complete succees so long as there are men who will ait on a fence all day for nothing rather than earn a dollar sawing wood.