Rensselaer Republican, Volume 21, Number 40, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 6 June 1889 — Page 6

%ftt fjUpwfrlican. Qwo. E. Maerhall, Publisher. RENSSELAER, INDIAnI

BANK THIEVES.

A lew weeks ago we chronicled in our news columns two audacious bank robberies in the West. Last week in the same columns was given the report of the suspension of a Pennsylvania bank and the discovery that the cashier was short many thousands of dollars. Here are two distinct types of robbery. One, the tMef enters the bank with drawn revolver and the cashier in fear of his life surrenders the funds in hand. The .other is where the cashier is placed in a responsible position, and by the cultivation of graces gains the confidence ot poor and rich alike, then suffers himself to rob those who have honored him with their deposits, in as heartless a manner as if he had forced his demands at the point of a revolver. The first is styled robbery, the second, embezzlement. The one, if captured, is cast into a cell and is a fit subject for punishment by a mob. The other, if apprehended at ail is tenderly cared for by the officials,given a room that will in no way endanger his valuabhle health, and re gated with flowere and condiments. This is where the administration of justice is partial. There ought to be no distinction between these tpyes of robbery, or if there is, it ought to be in favor of the man with the revolver. The one is following a vocation in which he is schooled by association, and robs of those, he thinks, who can afford to lose. The other is well educated, intelligent, and by every association unworthy of a dishonest thought, and yet he deliberately robs those whom he knows cannot afford to lose and whose funds would not be in his care had he not gained their confidence by an apparently upright life i The embezzlement type of bank thief is becoming entirely too common. The public is ehtitled to greater protection than it receives from the bank’s officers, even wnen they are not in collusion with the cashier. We ought to learn, first, that the one style of bank robbery is on the same plane as the other, and that the thief with the suave manner and oily tongue, though he have a smattering of Greek, French and the dead languages, is no better in any sense than the thief who robs his victim by force. Second, our laws ought to be strengthened on this point. It ought to be provided so that the State, as well as the Federal Government, could have jurisdiction over the administration of the banking business, with power to examine the cash, accounts, books and investments at pleasure. "With such a provision and with some unpurchasable man or men. in each county to act for the ,-State in their county, we imagine would be fewer 80-called embezzlements than there have been for a year jtwo past. As against this suggestion. ■ it" will, be urged that the Federal is amply able to perform tbi® important function of alministrationv , readily be Been, however, that Jhese embezzlements occur despite the watchfulness of that great power. The adding of the influence of the State, and through it the close alliance of the county itself, would increase the safe-

guards and prevent many, if not all the embezzlements that take place. The %nen appointed by each countv are on the field constantly, and would at once be apprised of any rumors that might be in circulation, and who would note the dispositions and habits of the bank’s officers. Would this not be, also, an invaluable aid to federal authority? A bank is a public institution though conducted with private funds. It is intended to afiord security for the accumulated funds of a community. There should be absolute reliance upon that security. Should the bank fail, on account of dishonesty or for other reasons, the whole community is disastrously affected. There ought, there? fore, to be no bank failures and no embezzlements, and every precaution onght to be taken that they may not occur. The interest manifested recentiy by the French Government in the Panama Canal enterprise is probably a sort of partisan device, such as is familiar to the people of all countries possessing representative institutions. A canvass will be begun in France before manv months more elapse in which the republican governmental syßtem will be fighting for its life. If the authorities can placate, for the time being, the 800,000 persons whose money is in the canal, and who are vitally interested in that project, it will be aided at the polls. Gan. Boulanger has been posing as the champion of these persons, and this is one of the discontented elements which constitute that demagogue’s strength and the Government’s weakness. Two weeks ago the Indiana Odd Fellows met in semi-annal convention; last week the F. and A. Masons met in annual session, and this week the Knights of Pythias are also in annual convention. Statistics of the last two organizations have not been given out at this writing but we have before ns the Grand Secretary’s report for the Odd Fellows, which as to relief bestowed in the six months ending December Slat, makes a remarkable showing for that

I order. The total amount disbursed for relief in the six months named was $53,06441 or $106,128,82 per year. This amounts to $8,844.07 per month; $2,040.94 per week; $391.56 par day, or $12.12 for evfry hour of every -day in the year. l As we stated this is a remarkable showing, and coupled with the relief afforded by other fraternal organizations, would make an exhibit almost beyond belief. It might be suggested, in this connection, that , this enormous sum paid out in this way adds to the business prosperity just that amount and in many instances, when the recipient would become a subject of public support, reduces taxation to a considerable extent.

We are pleased to note that a West.

ern Territory has enacted a law making train-wrecking punishable by death. We believe it is a Btep in the right direction. There is or was a law iB New York which made the malicious setting afire at night of a building occupied by human beings a capital offense. Such laws are founded on sound logic, and ought to prevail more generally than they do. The wrecking of trains must be especially condemned. The thought is revolting that monsters exist who would thus maliciously endanger the lives of many if not hundreds of human beings for the plunder that he might secure, and yet such is tne fact. A natural and almost inevitable consequence of railroad wrecks is the injury of many and loss of life. The world is full of maimed veterans of such calamity. The crime of railroad wrecking cannot be atoned for by any ordinary punishment, and the monster who hazzards human lives for the plunder he may secure, or through maliciousness, desejves no lees punishment than hanging. '

We have called attention lately to the poor homes of the country. Nothing better, nor perhaps as good, can be said of our jails. Mr. Wright, Secretary of the Wisconsin State Board, says the jail is a disgrace to civilization, and, in many cases, no better than it was in the days of John Howard. There is rarely any classification of prisoners, so that tbe old teach the youngtEe foulest forms of vice. The decent, and" often the innocent, are herded in with the Indecent, and even sexes are not separated. Vulgarity is the universal language, and vile story telling the recration. Our land is thus supplied with a regulated set of schools of crime. That is what they amount to. The end is not a suppression of crime, but the encouragement of crime. We must get rid of our present system of poor houses and jails. Out with them. George Bancroft is 6aid to he particular to remove his gloves before shaking hands. The point is a good one. Just introduce the fashion of ungloving before shaking, and shaking will soon subside. If there be one pre-eminent-ly disagreeable and distressing fashion in America, it is cur universal and eternal hand-shaking. Its origin, we believe, runs back to oar savage ancestors, who clasped hands in sign of peace instead Of war. Is there any reason for swearing a treaty of peace with every Tom, Dick and Harry of your acquaintance whom you chance to meet in the street? The custom is a terrible fag on health.

A big force of laborers has been collected at Greytown, one of the ends of the projected Nicaragua Canal, and operations will be begun in a few days. The preliminary work has all been done, and actual construction will commence, it is probable, aoout the Ist of June. Five years, at the outside, is the time which the engineers say will be required to finish the work, and $64,000,COO is the estimate for expenditure, after making an allowance for all conceivable contingencies. The prospect that the waterway will be opened for traffic about the middle of 1894 is favorable at this moment. The General Assembly of the Cumberland Presbyterian Church, composed of 100 delegates and representing sixteen States, is kt session at Kansas City. This sect organized in Kentucky in 1797, and its system of belief differs from the ordinary Presbyterian creed principally with respect to the doctrine of election or predestination. It now embraces 15 synods, 119 presbyteries and 160,000 communicants; and its record of usefulness and of sympathy with the interests of religious progress and conquest is very creditable. Cahada acts now as if it is anxious to end the fishery dispute. That country seems to be seriously endeavoring to prevent trouble and friction with the United States in the matter. It is to be hoped that some treaty satisfactory to both Americans and Canadians may he negotiated soon. The continuance of the controversy through so many years is unpleasant, and in some respects discreditable to both countries. Fbance has had more sorts of government in the past 100 years than any other country in the world, but it would be scarcely logical to reason from this fact that the present Government will soon be converted as the others were. It should be borne in mind that the third republic has endured longer than any other system which baa been in existence in France since the downfall ! of Loois XVI a century ago. j

JL *THB OTHER FELLOW. How seldow do our dreams come true! The very thing our fancy lei* U* ( hopc in tune will beeur own Some other fellqir a 1 ways gets. We fall in love: the mind’s diseased. The brain is in a foolish whirl: And while we worship <t6m afa* Some other fellow gets the girl. We try for weaHh;--‘<TcltrderT fouM---As men from Adam’s time have done: And while we toil, and strive, and fret, Some other fellow yanks the bun. We yearn for fame,, and struggle hard To win some measure of renown, ■ "V find , ■ ■ ■ ■ -SomeotherfcHow’3 hamegoesdown. Ah! what a torment life would be If we were of the hope bereft That in some fairer world than this That other fellow would get left! -f ... —SomervilleJournal.

BALANCING ACCOUNTS.

When Mr. Jenkins went to the city on Saturday morning, his wife accompanied him to do a little shopping. As they were walking to the train, Mr. J., happening to glance down at his coat, uttered a vigorous exclamation, and added: “I thought you promised to sew that loose button on my coat. Now it’s gone, and a fine figure I cut! Don’t 1?” “I’m very sorry, John, but—” “ ‘But’ won’t put it on again. There’s going to be a committee meeting in the office, too, this morning, and I don’t care to look as if I were coming to pieces. I’d like to know what was the use of my leaving it at home, yesterday?” “I had the needle and thread in my hand to do it, John, just as the baby fell down stairs, and that frightened me so that it put everything else out of my mind. I was anxious about her for hoars, you know.” “How she came to get such a fall, is more than I can see. • What’s the use, anyway, of you women staying at home all day, if you can’t keep the children from breaking their necks?” “She was scarcely out of my sight for a moment all day, except just that once, and—”- ;■- . _ “Well, never poind. I suppose you can sew on a button to-night: but I wish you kept a memorandum. What you women ever do with your memories I don’t see. Probably they’re too precious to use.” And Mr. Jenkins relapsed into silence and a perusal of the morning paper. When they were leaving the train Mrs. Jenkins said meekly: “If you are not too busy to-day, John, I wish you would stop at Polisher’s and get my lace pin. I shall need it to wear to the concert to-night. None of my other pins are fit. I’d get it myself, if it wasn’t so far down town.” “There! I’ve thought of that pin a lundred times if I have once; but I never have more than time to catch the last boat as I come past. I’ll get it tonight,” Mr. Jenkins had a hurried and busy day, and felt so warm in consequence that he had to stop on his way to the ferry to drink a glass of soda water. That used up all his spare minutes, and when he passed Polisher’s jewelry store he was walking as if for a wager.

One evening, about the middle of the following week, Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins sat in “social silence” on the broad piazza, the former trying to read by the waning light, while his wife was dili"f ff"m u K7nrtTnr little red blank book. Mr. Jenkins laid Ms paper aside for a moment and watched his wife. Finally he said: “I’m glad to see you growing so systematic and economical in your housekeeping. I hope it will tell when the bills come in.”

It's not housekeeping accounts this time, JoUn; though I do try to be regular about those.” “I don’t see what it can be then. Seems to me you have grown very literary lately. I don’t see what it can be. Ji don’t know how often I’ve seen you writing in that book. Suppose you let me have a look at it;” and he reached out his hand. “Not just yet,” said Mrs. Jenkins. “Please wait a little. You may- see it Saturday night; that is. if accounts balance, or if there iB something to my credit Mr. Jenkins looked pnzzled. “So it is an account book, after all. Well, I’d just as soon wait I will audit it for you on Saturday. That is, if the items are not too small and tedious—one cent for glove buttons, three cents for hairpins, five cents for a car fare.” “I don’t think you will find the items tedious,” was the reply, and the matter was dropped. About 10 o’clock Saturday night At occurred to Mr. Jenkins to call lor his wife’s account book. “You said it was not your household account, so I suppose it has to do with private expense,” he remarked. “It is neither,?’ said Mrs. Jenkins. “It is only a memorandum of items I wanted to keep in mind,” “Well, that’s an excellent idea, though I don’t see why it needs balancing.” “Perhaps you will see in a momtnt. It’s an account of what ought to Have been remembered, and not of what is to be; and I’ll read it myßelf.” “Well, you are a queer woman! that’s all I have to say. 1 don’t see the Benae of such a memorandum; but go ahead.” Mrs. Jenkins began to read aloud.

- t *BatUfday-‘-D&bitr Fgfgbt to sew button on Mr. Jenkins’ coat. Credit: Mr. Jenkins forget to bring my pin from Polisher's.” Mr. Jenkins whistled and sat upright. “You are keeping sqmebody’s accounla besides your own, I oßfeerve.” “Certainly, my dear,” said his wife, sweetly. “I couldn’t make things balance otherwise, you know.” He subsided with a resigned air, and Mrs. Jenkins went on: “Forgot to tell Patrick to put away: the lawn mower.” “In consequence of which,” added John, in an audible foot note, “it was out all night in the rain, and became shockingly rusty.”, Tbe account proceeded. “Sunday—J orgot the number of our new pew. Mr. Jenkins forgot nothing.” A look of quiet triumph shone from the arm-chair occupied by paterfamilias. “Mohday—Forgot to have more starch put into the collars and cuffs. Mr. Jenkins forgot to order a barrel of flour. Tuesday—My record clear. Mr. Jenkins forgot to tell Jack that Helen Lovering was spending the day here. Whereby Jack lost a golden opportunity, may end by losiDg Helen herself, and has had a fit of the blues qver since. “Wednesday—Forgot to have chocolate instead of coffee for breakfast. Mr. Jenkins forgot to send the glazier up to mend the pane of glass that baby broke. In consequence of which, the rain came in while we were away from home and ruined the new plush chair. Spoilt lawn-mower canceled.” “I would suggest,” said a voice from the arm-chair, “that we deal with bare items, and dispense with superfluous comments.” ——^ “Thursday—Forgot to keep the scissors out of the baby’s reach. Century much the worse in consequence. “Mr. Jenkins forgot to mail my letter to Harriet, as a result, letting her come up from’ Bound Brook, yesterday, to find the house closed ana family out of town. “Friday—Forgot my umbrella and left it in the cars. Mr. Jenkins forgot, until after dinner, to tell me that aunt Kate was expecting us to dine with her. Consequence, Bhe ale a cold dinner alote after waiting an hour.” “I have once before remarked,” interposed Mr. Jenkins, “that I would be obliged to you for sticking to the account in the book.” “It will help us to make a just balance if we weigh consequences,” replied his wife, placidly. “Have patience; I have nearly finished.” “Saturday—Forgot to see that Bridget put salt into the bread. Consequence, it was insipid, but not the comments made on it.” “Mr. Jenkins forgot to turn off the vfrater in the bathroom this morning.” At this announcement the gentleman in question raised his eyebrows in sudden recollection, and looked slightly apprehensive. “Consequence, the kitchen ceiling fell at 4 o’clock.” “Bill for damages: To Patrick's time spent in clearing way rnbbisk.i | rK) To one meat dish (broken) 75 To one gravy boat (broken) 25 To one glass pitcher (broken). :so To two pipkins (broken) 60 To Sunday’s piece 01 roast beu' buried in mortar 1.25 To doctor’s services to cook's injuries... 2.00 To courtrjilastcr and arnica 25 To estimated cost of replastering kitchen 5.00 Total „ J 10.90 “Don’t look so troubled, my dear,” said Mrs. Jenkins cheerfully; “I would not ’et the children tell you, because I wanted to break it to you gently. Only before you go to bed, please balance tie account for the week.” And she handed him a little red book.

OKLAHOMA HOTEL BULLS.

Necessary Hints to Travelers in That Booming Country. Spokane Globe. 1. If the bugs are troublesome you’ll find the kloroform in a bottle on the shelf. 2. Gents gom’ to bed with their boots on will be charged extra. 3. Three raps at the door means that there is a murder in the house, and you mast get up. 4. Please rite your name on the wall paper so that we know you’ve been here. 6. The other leg of the chair is in the closet if yon need it. 6. If that hole where that pane of glass is out is too much for you, you’ll find a pair of pants behind the door to staff m it 7. The shooting es a pistol is no cause for any alarm. 8. If you’re too cold, put the oilcloth over your bed.

9. Caroseen lamps extra; candles free, but they mustn’t barn all night. 10. Don’ tare off the wall paper to lite your pipe with. Nuff of that already. 11. Gnests will not take ont them nicks in the mattress. 12. If it rains through that hole overread, you’ll find an umbrella under the >ed. 13. The rata won’t hurt you if they do chase each other across your face. 14. Two men in a room must put up with one chair. 15. Please don’t empty the aawdnat ont of the pillera. 16. Don’t kick about the roches. We don’t charge extra. 17. If there’s no towel handy, use • piece of the carpet.

AN INTER-ST A TERPISODE.

The Historial Situation That Gave Rise to a Proverbial Saying. t Minneapolis Journal. As every one knows, North and Bouth Carolina were of the thirteen original States of the Union, and for many yeare alterthwnation beemne free the twin commonwealths grew and prospered. In the early part of the present century, however, a cloud no larger than two men’s hands appeared upon the Carolina horjzon, and grew until it threatened to wreck the social fabric of the two States. The Governor of North Carolina quarreled with the (Governor of South Carolina. The executive of the Tarheel Btate publicly stated that his colleague of the Palmetto Commonwealth was “no better than he should he.” This, as may be imagined, aroused the wrath of the Governor of South Carolina, and he issued a manifesto declaring the Governor of North Carolina would be better if he were not Worse. Thereupon grave complications arose, and for a time an internecine war was threatened. The people greatly regretted the quarrel, and the most able and skillful diplomat ad' of the two States bent their utmost energies to the pacification of their now maddenodsuperiors. Finally, after months of strenuous effort, a meeting was arranged between the two Governors, with a view to settling the difficulty. On one never-to-be-forgotten day the two Governors met in the magnificent mansion of the Governor of North Carolina, at Raleigh. The Governor of South Carolina was travel-worn, hungry, thirsty and tired. At last they stood face to face, the most impressive moment in the history of North Carolina.' For a minute neither great man spoke. Then the Governor of North Carolina, extending his right hand, and placing the index finger of his left hand upon the side of his nose, gazed in the eye of his foe and said. “It is a long time between drinks!” And the Governor of South Carolina, grasping the hand of his adversary and measuring off the four fingers of his left hand, said; “It is.” Then the Governor of North Carolina ordered a huge bowl of Jamaica rum punch, and he and the Governor of South Carolina washed away all remembrances of their late Quarrel. And they lived happily ever after.

The Arizona Kicker.

Detroit Free Press. The dyspeptic old excrescence who claims to edit the milk-and-mush publication down at the Catfish alley is jealous of our advertising patronage In a labored article this week in his poorly printed old apology he says that we practice bulldozing to Dring advertising. What a liar! The Kicker practice bulldozing! The idea is laughable, and if he was worth minding we would walk down to his shanty and choke the assertion down his brazen throat. There used to be several firms here which didn’t believe in advertising. We conldn’t make ’em believe in it until we went at it and found out that they were composed of gentlemen who had skipped from the east for baru burning, horse, stealing, bigamy, embezzlement, etc. Then we wrestled with ’em, and they came to sea that the life of trade was in using printers’ink. We Bimply convinced—not bulldozed. The efforts of our knock-kneod contemporary to smirch the fair fame of The Kicker will simply call forth amileß of plty.

Dakota Drouths Explained.

WashiijEton Post. The people in the wheat-raising portions of Minnesota and Dakota say that their crop will be a failure this year unless they get rain very soon. We have always cautioned these peonle and pointed out to them the underlying principle of the Darwinian theory. Nature supples only those things which are made use of. It is said that as soon as the tail became useless to man he lost it and as soon as he quit wriggling his ears the muscles with which he used to wriggle them became no muscles at all. If the people of the Northwest persistently decline to use wpter when they have it of course nature will, in time, quit giving it to them.

Chicago Mathematics.

San Francisco Wasp. “What is the matter, Nelly?” “Nothing, ma, except”— “Except what, Nelly?” “Except that we’ve got a new teacher, and she’s just as uppish and insaltirg." “Who is she?” “Priscilla Ryan from Boston.” “What did she do?” “Oh, she took ns out of our A B C’s, and begun some fanny business right off,such as ‘How many feet make a yard? Three.’ And she made us say it, too. I knew it was a slur about Chicago feet. The idea of our yard being only big enough to hold three feet!”

Forthcoming Novels.

St. Louis Magazine. According to the newspapers, “Mrs. Senator” Frye will ahoitly publish a society novel. We trust that it will nan out all right. The scenes are probably in Greece. Another novel announced for the fall season is said to be by a Boston seamstress who writes for the Eastern magazines. It will no doubt be sewsew.

CONDIMENTS.

Cats flowere—Wall flowere. New wheat never ruined as many men as old rye. ■ ~ Nfo man ever had to be far seeing td see temptation. Blessings are nsnaUv and replenikh the earflb. Few men like to see a woman smoke yet they are always ready to helJr-frerTcT alight. After all, Assistant Postmaster Clark son appears to be the head officer in Washington^ The crab may think he has a ‘*soft snap” on tbe fat of your foot, but you never tbipk so. The Chinese are a very imitative people. This explains why they always stick to their euee. The announcement tjhat there is an over production of onions’ comes direct from trade scenters. It was a drunken gymnast of whom the policeman remarked that he was celling a tumbler full of whisky.^ Many are the curious things in life. Some wind up a clock to make it go, and you wind up a business to make it stop. - That Chicago Garter, who has’f been granted a divorce, must have experienced considerable whoa during his married life. It is when a landlord creeps throueh the barb wire fence of a delinquent , tenant that he is almost sure to get his back rent. Speaking of the weather, a warm spring may be anticipated when a man sits on a hot flat iron placed on a chair by his wife. “Prof. Wiggins lives away off in Canada,” says an exchange. And Canada is net the only thing Prof. Wiggins is away off in. A professional thiei is also an arithmetical paradox—he works out all his essays in addition and multiplication by means of substraction. Civilization will never be a complete succees so long as there are men who will ait on a fence all day for nothing rather than earn a dollar sawing wood.

A SEA OF FIRE.

It Caused Great Fright on the Steamship Manitoban. —= Philadelphia Kccord. A sea of phosphorescent fire, extending as far as the eye could reach, was passed on Tuesday last, 185 miles east, by north of Cape Henlopen, by the Allen Line steamship Manitoban, from Glasgow, now lying at Washington Ave. wharf. Capt. master of the Manitoban, said yesterday: “Early on Tuesday night the heavens suddenly became overcast and intensely dark, and I left the bridge temporarily, leaving Second Officer Johnson in charge. I had hardly reached the chart room when the cry of fire was announced on the starboard bow, and I rushed on the bridge and found the sea to be like a mass of flame, presenting a scene of sublime grandeur. Whenever a sea broke over the bow of the - vessel the drops of fire spread over the rigging and decks iike the flying embers of a genuine conflagration, where sparks were driven by a strong wind. Everywhere on the decks were found tiny, sparkling phosphorescent beads which did not disappear until the next morning. For two hours the vessel was steaming through this sea of ire, causing considerable alarm to many of the superstitions sailorg-and- passengers. In the distance the sea appeared to be break-

ing on a strand, but a dip of the log without finding bottom indicated that Bhoal water was not near at hand.” This unusual phenomenon has caused considerable interest among scientific men, a similar sea having been seen several months ago in the bay Of Bengal which has puzzled the learned heads of Europe. An elaborate report will be prepared for the Hydrographic office. Lieut. W. Conway, in charge of the Branch Hydrographic Office, and who has had vast experience in the Esst Indies and in Japanese and Chinese waters, will give tne subject his special attention. He looks upon the report of Capt. Dunlop as one of the most important that has ever been received in the office.

A Bishop’s “Bogus” Coin.

Fall Mall Gazette. Dr. Billings, bishop of Bedford, tells an amusing story about an East end church collection. It appears that the bishop had been preaching to a very poor congregation, and that when the plate was handed round, moved by companssion, he contributed a sovereign to < it. While disrobing in the vestry he inquired of one of the church wardens what sort of A collection there had been. ,“Bector than usual, thanks to your lordship,” was the reply; “we have got several coins and a quantity of copper. There is a sovereign also, but that of course is a bogus one.” The bishop held his peace, but must have been Blightly chagrined at the miscarriage of his liberality. Later he ventured to inquire of the other church wardens what the collection had amounted to. “Seventeen and eightpence halfpennymuch better than usual,” was the answer cheerfully given. The prelate does not divulge whether or not he pocketed hi» modesty, and confessed that some acquaintance with the golden coin enabled him to vouch for its genuineness.