Rensselaer Republican, Volume 21, Number 39, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 May 1889 — Comical Cuttings. [ARTICLE]

Comical Cuttings.

It is said that Henry Irving would decline a knighthood should one be offered him. He isn’t one of the beknighted kind. The leader of a brass band ought to put on a great many “airs.” It is only when the guardian of an infant is also a physician that he may become a ward healer. Add’em was was the first conspicuous figure in this world. It’s strange, but a bucket shop is the poorest place in the world to take yonr tin if you wish to make anything. “Wives should never conceal anything from their husbands,” says a writer. If this advice were followed out it would create a revolution in feminine pockets. What is sweeter than roses That bloom in the beauty of June? Or the stat ly and fragrant lilies Whose bells ring a summer tune? Ah, sweeter the roses blowing On the cheeks of those we love, At d the lily of hi alth that’s glowing The cheek’s red rose above. But how soon ths lily and the rose wither in the faces of our American women. Why is it? Simply because so ’’many of them are victims of weaknesses, irregularities and functional derangements incidental to the sex. If they would use Dr. Pierce’s Favorite Prescription all these beauty and health-aestorying ailments might be warded off, and we would hear less about women “growing old before their time.” Metaphorically speaking, milk is a kin to the baby; but the relationship is somewhat strained. 100 Ladies Wanted, And 100 men to call daily on any druggist for a Free trial package of Lane’s Family Medicine, the great root and herb remedy, discovered by Dr. Silas Lane while in the Rocky Mountains. For diseases of the blood, liver and kidneys it is a positive cure. For constipation and clearing up the complexion it dees wonders. Children like it. Every one praises it. Large size package, 50 cts. At all druggists. An ivory handle—Feeling of an elephant’s tusks.