Rensselaer Republican, Volume 21, Number 13, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 November 1888 — ADVICE FOR THANKSGIVING. [ARTICLE]

ADVICE FOR THANKSGIVING.

Don’t spoil tho day by finding fault. Anybody who is surly on a holiday deserves to t)Kj?cntenced to six months’ penal servitude. Don’t (n’owl because yon don’t get the second joint. Don’t be a hog and take all ■dhe white meat. Tho dark -is considered Better by many good judges. uive the young ones all the gravy they! want, and let them daub themselves with cranberry sauce To their stomach’s content. It's anti-bilious. Explain to them that the anatomical structure of the turkey makes It impossible- for you to: supply them all with “wish bones.” If tho youthful .peoplo of the family howl in the silent midnight watches do not paint tho air blue, Remember that you were a boy once and used to overfeed. Remember, too, that Thanksgiving only comes once a year, although the juvenile vote would undoubtedly be solid for having it come twice a week. Bo copious of pie to your guests, sparing to yourself. Pis is healthiest when eaten by proxy. - Do net tell your wife about the plum pudding your Aunt Banian thy used to make in Waybaek when you were a boy. Even on holidays women .are women. I’raise it whether you eat it or not. Give her a double share of tho plums. And may yon all live to eat Thanksgiving turkey many years iri succession, and map.' your feast be followed by no pangs of indigestion. The richest and most envied man unshorn of his wealth of money, but'deprived of all thq common, benefits which his poorest brother man enjoys as an in alienable right, would bo poorer than the potfrest pauper. ‘ i