Rensselaer Republican, Volume 20, Number 27, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 March 1888 — Page 6

WHY THKY TALK. For atxmlute negation '. Tak* the long continuation | Ortho iwolem con vernation In tho lower house of Congress any day The breadth of its digraeaion Is a feature past expression It’s a simple, plain contention That they talk because they haven't anything toaay. —Washington Critic.

SPUNKY MRS. GRIME.

It ain’t every man that has a chance to see the woret aide o’ his wife’s character before marriage and the sweetness after. But I bein’ a tin man, with aa good an outfit as travels a New England road, bilers, pans, brooms, teakettles, an’ all sorts o’ knick-knacks bein’ included, get a pretty good back view of what learned folks call society. And it was along o’ follerfh’'my trade in this fashion that I flrat saw the present Mrs. Grime. She was at the wash tub, an’ the suds was flying lor aU.they wns wiith. She looked pretty, too, though you might not think it from the work'she was at. 7* but the rubbin, he 1 made her cheeks rosy an’ somethin’ I'll lell of when I get to it hed made her eyes snap. It was one o’ them trig houses in a suburb she was doin’w ork at to, help the old folks back on t he farm. The back yard to this house was a sort o’ place with a lot o’ bushes an’ trees afore you got in sight o’ the kitchen door, and when I’d got where I was pretty near, an’ afore I could get another sight o’ the little woman at the tub, I heard somebody say, with lots o’ meanin' in the tones:

“You do that again and I’ll do more than talk—now mind!’’ I stepped out in full view o’ matters, an’ there a little mite of a rigged-up babyhood was spilling dirt into the wash tub. It was an aggravatin’ thing, an’ I know jest how that little woman felt. There she was a-workin’ away for dear life—for it was late, an’ I could see there was still a big pile of clothes unwashed—an* that little wretch a-grin-nin’ an’ throwin’ its fists full of dirt. I jest wondered what’d happen. As 1 kept cornin’ nearer the house the young rascal ran out for another handful, an’ with a face at me skipped back as lively as a cricket, antici patin,’ no doubt, the fun o’ more scoldin’. But he missed his calculations. He hadn’t no more than put his body close to the tub than the little woman he'd been a tormentin’ just swooped down on him easy and swift like,lan’ without a mite o’ fuss or waste o’ breath landed him plamp in the suds-slippers, velvet, ■ + dirt, an’ all! While you could perhaps count five, she held him there a bleached out. little einner, too completely knocked out o'his reckoning to even cry. Then she sent him. all drippin’ like a drowned rat. on the floor an’ neld him fast by the shoulders. “You’ve done that times enough,” she said with a grain o’ temper that I found it easy to forgive, “an’ no one has «>opped yon. Now I’ve taken you in hand an’ will see what ’ll come of it. Go tell your mother, an’ tell her I’m ready to give her an explanation. Now you go!” With a howl that would have done credit to a Feej ee island er, ihe soaked torment started, an’ his self-constituted discipline! went to rubbin’ fast an’ furious, as if she hed still somethin’ to wora ofi.

In spite o’the temper I should Lev liked to give her a hearty handshake, but I knew enough about suburb folks and their relations to thoir third girls to know such a proseedin’ would’t be prudent—it wouldn’t help the third girl a mite—so I jejt traveled back the way I h?d cone without a word about bilere or anything else. I felt puty sure the fewer spectators to the scene that would follow, when that youngster’s mother came downstairs, the better. . Thelolks in the kitchen had seen me, but! knew at least one of ’em would be more com’ortabler if I left an’ wouldn’t lay up agin me an,d leavin’ out of manners. But I made it in my way a few | days after that to call ’round; there an’ see if they had any rags or old paper they wanted to swap for tinware. , Tae third girl wasn't there, only, the second girl ironin’ subdued like at the table. She said they didn’t trade with peddlers; they bought all their tin things down to the store. Then I looked ’round careless, an’ asked where the other girl was, but at tbit she looked scared, and sail she didn’t know, she’d been discharged and no one knew where she’d gone: I was mighty sorry at that, for I’d admired thatplucky dousin’ in spite oX the bit o’ tamper. Well, I said goodby to the second girl and traveled back to my cart. . ■ - For mor’n two months I jangled ’round on my tin cart, inakin’ good bargains and swellin’ my bank account a few dollars each week. I always was of a thrifty turn, and it come ea y to lay by somethin’, so I don’t speak of itto take credit, only as a fact I thought lots about that washin’ day, an’ wondered what the two women bed sed when the young torment bed told his ma. I njwayssmiled when I thought on it, cause I was pretty sure the mistress didn’t get the best of it in words, anyhow. An’ somehow, between youjmL me, mistresses could have a deal o’ plain

■peakin' done to ’em without havin’ mor’n their share. But one afternoon I drove into a farmyard and came near runnin’ smash into another tin peddler establishment that hed got there ahead of me. With due respect for the feller's rights, I was preparin’ to turn ’round An’ get out when I heard a voice. “You're a swindler,” it was sayin’, “an yon know it! The bottom to that kittle is just the poorest kind o’ staff, and the nose has corrie off and been fastened on again. I don’t want to trade w'ith you, an’ I won’t, so you may as well go!” “It’s my little washtuo beauty,” says Ito myself, wonderful glad, an’ so it was. She followed the man, a meechin’ chap, to the door, an’ I could see 'she was almost! as angry as she wae thet first mornin’ I’d seen her.. She wasn’t so pretty this time, either, for she had a towel ’round her head, and a faded out calico dress, an’ boot® that was out at the toes; but somehow my heart gave a thump, an’ I was down off’n my wagin in no time. .‘‘Maybe I kin make a trade with you,” I says, more jerky than I ever spoke before. “Well, maby you can,” she says, eyein’ me. I knew she was tryin’ to placq me, but couldn’t. I wanted to help her, but couldn’t find the words. I could only bring out ray best kittles an’ knock off half the regular price on the ground that I wanted to dispose on ’em quick, 50*8 to lay in a new and improved stock. I was longin’ to know if this was her home, but couldn’t think of no way to find out without askin’ in so many words, and that 1 hadn’t the courage to do.

She handled the things carefully, but all of a sudden, when I thought she was examinin’the nose of my big rest teakettle, she spoke up quits quick.y and sharp: “I know where I’ve seen you,” she said. “It was when I doused that Charley Granby. Maybe you don’t remember, since you didn’t lose your temper an’ place—but losin’ your place makes you remember.” Somehow them words made me lightheaded—she remembered mt! “I recollect,” I said, fast as ever I could for the fit thet had seized my tongue, “an’ I wanted to shake hands with you. He deserved all you gave him—the varmint.” She smiled a little —but sighed, too.' “It lost me my place, of course,” she went on, takin’ up a bread pan an’ turnin’ it over. “I ain’t had the heart to look up another one yet; so here I am, at home—a scoldin’ one peddler,an’ tellin’ my aftaira to another. You mnet have a pretty poor opinion of me, an’ no wonder.” She ended with a little laugh, an’ said she guessed they’d take the bread pan an’ the smaller kittle. “Do you calkerlate to stay around home all summer?” I asked hating myself because my face was getting red as fire. She answered back quite fierce: “I shall stay until I learn to manage my temper better in tryin’ times,which, accordin’ to present appearances, won’t be any too soon.” I said some peddlers was en'ugh to try the patience of a saint, an’ then got redder’n ever, because I was afraid she’d think I meant I was above all sich an’ an exception to ’em. But she didn’t seem to take it that way. She laughed an’ said there was peddlers an’ peddlers.

Then we settled for the things, an’ there bein’ no excura for stayin’ longer, I went I said to myself a good many times that day: “She’s got a temper;” but it didn’t keep her out of iny head a mite, nor hinder me from gettin’ roun’ to that farm house again in a week. This time we didn’t make no trade, but wh bed a few words o’ nonsense, an’ we noticed the hearty way things was growin’. It was near twilight, an’ when I went away I had a feelin’ as if I’d tucked a bite o’ peacefulness down In my heart to make me glad an’ thankful in the dust an’ flies o’ the road. It needed it putty often that summer, for it grew to be a dredful dry season an’ the travelin’ was vile. I hedtogo to<hat farm house a good many times—it was no use tryin’ to keep away, for the thought o’ them bright eyes drew me there as sure as honey draws bees. I to myself till I most forgot I was a Methodist in good and regular standin’. Then I drew myself up short. “It’s no ute, James Grime,” I said, ‘you’ve lost somethin’ an’ you won’t find it unless you find it in them brown eyes down on the Gray farm.” So I put on my beat suit o’ clo’s an a light overcoat, for it was gettin’ near fall, an’ the nights was chilly, an’ I hired a team of the livery stable in ‘the village where I was stoppin’,au’ started. But I hadn’t gone more’u a rod or two when I turned back. “No, you don’t,” I says, “go dressed up in you’re best an’ behind a hired hoes! You ain’t azoin’ to take no such advantage o’ the little girl. Like as not sheTlba tired with her day’s work, an' in her common, everyday dress, an' you ain’t goin’ in her all fixed up, as if you had no work to do, nor nothin’, no, sir, not by a long shot! ” So I took off the shiny store clo’a an’ put on the old ones I had on when I first eee her. They were pretty seedy,

but I put 'em on, an* when I hitched the old mare into the., Un cart I felt a eight more square an’ comfortable. I wae no better as fur as clo’e went than the dear little woman I wanted fur a wife was—as to character, I thought of my pipes an’ rough ways, an’ I felt ’way belowher. Batthen I thought, too, of her brown eyes, ap’ drove on. It was just supper time when I got to to the house, an’ they all asked me in to take somethin’ with ’em, only Elizabeth Jane she didn’t press me too much.

I supppse that supper was as long as common meals, but it seemed to fly by to me. After we was through I talked crops to the old gentleman, but watched Elizabeth washin’ the dishes. She was so easy and so good to look at as slie worked I couldn’t help it, qp how. Spite of my •« determination to keep my mind on her father, an’ my eyes, too, I looked, an’ looked, an’ couldn’t get enough o’ lookin’. After that I don’t just remember what happened, but somehow we found ourselves out-on the porch alone, lookin’ at the west that was all a mass df gold an’ purple. It was one o’ them moments that come to a man now an’ then an’ keep him sure there’s a heaven—tender an’ deep an’ etill, I don’t mean to eay theren’t no noises, for there was—the tree tcads a singin’ an’ the frogs a croakin’ an’ the leaves a rustlin’, but they were still noises an’ tender.

“Eljzibeth,” 1 says, feelin’ Low hard it would go with me if she refused me. “Elizabeth, I’ve got lots o’ faults, an’ I hain’t got no polish like the city chaps to cover ’em, but I love you, dear, an’ want you for my wife—do you suppose that you could care for me like that?” I was standin’ very near her, an’ could hear her heart beat fast, but she answered with a soft laugh: “You ain’t got a temper,” she says, under her breath, “an’ you ain’t lost your place on account of it—an’ I think you’ve made a mistake an’ don’t want me—at least, I don’t see how you can, anyway.”

I didn’t waste no words. I knew—my heart told me the peacefulness was to be mine—the brown eyes had what I’d lost in ’em, an’ somethin’ beside. I jest put my arms around her in the deep summer night an’ held her fast. “I love you, temper an’ all,” I says, washtub, an’ everything. Don’t you care for me, jest a little?”

“Yes,” she whispered back; “in spite o’ my temper.” An’ that’s my wife Elizabeth Jane, that I call “Mother” now, because there’s another Jane in the family. We live on the old farm, an’ barrin’ the mistakes that come into all housekeepin’ arrangements an’ have to be made straight by 'experience, we’ve been as happy as the day is long. I still peddle tins, an’ sometimes when I’m ridin’ along in the evening I think o’ bein’ without the wife an’ home I’m going to, an’ by the weight of my heart I know how much they are to me. So I say: “Bless the wives, all of ’em, but more particularly bless my wife.”

He Is Now a Detective.

Omaha Herald. “To show you how big a ‘sucker’ a man can be,’’ said an Omaha citizen yesterday, “I want to tell you of my experience. I got a circular a few days ago from a so called detective bureau,which wants an agent in each county in the United States, and all that sort of thing. I was just chump enough to bite at the bait. I sent $5 for my admission fee and $3 for mv first month’s dues. This is what I got in return.” Here the speaker exhibited a certificate of active membership in an alleged association and a star bearing the much abused word, “Detective.” • “It never occurred to me,” continued the < •; up, “that my association promised me nothing in return for my S 3 per month. I got no business from it- In fact, I believe that I might just as well have saved my money, bought a star and hung out a shingle on my own account. The long and short of the matter is that I have paid $5 for the privilege of calling myself a detective, and am expected to pay $3 a month as a license to live.” When last seen the detective was hunting for another specimen like himself. He said there were many in Omaha who had been as foolish a? he.

Agriculture in Calitornia.

Omaha Woi*ld. Southern California Agent—There, sir, look .over into that field. Did yor ever see a man plough so easily- as that? Eastern: farmer—By gum! The plough does seem to go easy, don’t it? The m»n seems to enjoy it. “Yes, sir; keeps jumping and dancing along like a boy; just see his heels fly.” “Looks a good des! like a jig, I must say.” Little Boy (native)—Pop ain’t dancin’; he’s tryin’ ter keep outen the way o’ the tarantulas and rattlesnakes wot he turns up. >

National Conventions:

_ RKJPPKIJC4S. -D EM OCR ATH'. 1856—Philadelphia. 1856-Cincinnati. 1860 Chicago. 1860 —X' uarlsston. 1864—Baltimore. .1864—Chicago. 1863—Chicago. 1868—New York. 1872—Philadelphia. 1872~-( lineinnktv 1876—Cincinnati. 1876 —St. Louis. 1880-Chicago. 1880—Cincinnati. 1884—Chicago. 1881— Chicago. 1888—Chicago. 1888—St. Louis.

TIMELY TOPICS.

7 WHAT THMY SAY IM IMOLAMD. The London Echo: Englishmen have a peculiar interest in the results of the great Democratic conference which has just concluded in Pennsylvania. Had Senator Randall’s party triumphed the policy of President Cleveland as regards tariff would have been upset—-firstly, because it would stood condemned at the first Democratic convention hel4 after its announcement; and, secondly, because the Democrats of Congress, whose word makes the President’s propositions law or overthrows them,would have been divided in opinion and failed to have carried a tariff reduction. Senator Randall, if the American papers to hand this qrorning be correct, has left no stone unturned to defeat a free-trade policy; he has made all sorts of propositions, some of them involving extravagant expenditure of the public money, in order to do away with the reduction of customs duties. He has, it is solemnly asserted, intiigued with the friends of President Cleveland to overthrow him, and even won over to his side Governor Hill, of New York State, an old friend of Mr. Cleveland. But the Democratic conference has resulted in his utter defeat,and it is now seen that the party has resolved to support the reduction of tariff. Thisis good news for England, for it means an increased wool, iron, and steipl trade. More than that, it is the beginning of an enbghtened policy which will be of great value to both nations. The Pennsylvania Democrats have inaugurated an enlightened and beneficial policy. Indianapolis Journal: The speech of the British Minister ol Agriculture in the House of Commons, on the condition of agriculture in England, points a moral in the tariff discussion in this country. No phase of the free trade argument has been more vigorously worked than the alleged “robbery” of farmers by a protective tariff. Facts and figures have been juggled with and twisted out of all resemblance to truth to prove that American farmers have been systematically robbed and plundered without knowing it. They have imagined that they were doing fairly well, and certainly in the long run they have done as well as any other class, but the free traders assure them they,are the victims of the most cruel extortion. Statistics show that during the last twenty-five years, in which the progress and growth of the United States have surpassed anything recorded in the history of the world, agriculture has kept up with other inter-

ests, 'Rue farmers have shaied in the general prosperity. Of course the agricultural interest, like all others, has its ups and downs, its periods of unusual prosperity and of more or less depression, but a comparison of one deca ie, or one term of years with another, shows that the agricultural interest has prospered under a protective tariff to an extent that is simply marvelous. Against this great fact, as plain and palpable as any in history, the free traders oppose their theory that the farmers are robbed and plundered by a protective tariff because all their a prior reasoning shows it cannot be otherwise. Tbe force of lhe logic makes it inevitable, from their point of view, and therefore they assert that it so because it must be so. If this theory were true we might expect to find the most prosperous condition of agriculture under free trade. If agriculture is depressed here it mus be prosperous in Great Britain. Let the British’Minister of Agriculture testify. He said the question of the depression of agriculture w«s more important than the Irish question; that agricultural values had shrunk during the last year not less than $200,000; that thousands of acres of land had gone out of cultivation, the number of cattle and sheep had been greatly reduced, and 900,000 men were idle, owing to the paralysis of agriculture. This is the present condition of agriculture in Great Britain under free trade, as described by an official hot likely to make the case appear worse than it really is. There is no inch condition of affairs in the United States. To paraphrase the language of Mr. Cleveland: thia is not so much a question of theories as it is of conditions, and surely the condition of the agricultural interest of this country, after twenty-five years of protective tariff, is very different from that described by England’s free trade Minister .of Agriculture as existing in that country. Perhaps the depression of agriculture in England is not owing to free trade, and perhaps its prosperity in this country is not owing to protection; but it is at least an interesting coincidence, and presents two sets of stubborn facts against the school boy theories of the free traders. In view of the contrast, American farmers will probably prefer to continue, to be robbed. I'KMNfc YLVANIA DKMOCBATS AND THE TARIFF. Wasbißgion Bp*ci«J. -—— -> ■ In a little knot of Democrat who were .standings together in the hall of Representatives previous to. the opening of the session, to-day, there was one poor, lone Pennsylvanian who was being cruelly tortured by certain of his brethren from the South. They were nußgnltang him with the foreign theory, and rubbing it in somewhat unmerci-

folly. At last he broke out with the words: “You fellows are a lot of d fools. There are just two freetraders in the State of Pennsylvania—Bin Singerly and Bill Scott, and they are not certain what they want. Anybody who has the least knowledge of the feeling in Pennsylvania will understand that the indorsement of the President’s message and the election of Kisner were solely for the purpose of propitiating the administration and its Pennsylvania representatives. Cleveland iglooked upon as certain to be the next nominee or the Democratic party for the next presidency: If elected, he and his official and political lieutenants will have the distribution of the loaves and fishes for the ensuing four years. “With this near future staring them in the face, do you imagine that Pennsylvania Democrats, who want anything for themselves or their friends, desire to administer a direct slap in the face to President Cleveland, or to the Pennsylvania Democrat who most frequently strelches his legs under the White House mahogany? That is all there is of this thing that is being heralded aa a slaughter of Randall and an advance toward free trade. Put’the issue squarely at the polls in Pennsylvania, and you see where you’ll come out. A reasonable protective tai iff would have practically the unanimous vote of the State.” Mr. Cleveland, in his letter accepting the Democratic Presidential nomination, intimated that he was opposed to a second term, on the ground that “the eligibility of thg President for re-election is a most serious danger tb that calm, deliberate and intelligent political action which must characterize a government by the people.” Tnis would be a good time for Mr. Cleveland to define bis position on this question. Has be changed his mind on this matter, or have the joys of office proven too seductive to be relinquished voluntarily? If Cleveland should do as Blaine has done, and withdraw his name from the list of possible candidates, there woulch-be a new deal in the Democratic as there will be in the Republican paity, and the canvass would be made decidedly novel and interesting.

The country should not fail to take note of the significant feet that the Sec rifary of the Treasury recently transmitted to Congress estimates to meet deficiencies for the last fiscal year and for the current one amounting to JB,656 250. As anillustration of Demo cratic economy,these fieuresare specially interesting and instructive.—St. Louis Globe-Demccrat.

Turpentine in Diphtheria.

Medical Record. We have on several occasions referred to the use of turpentine in diphtheria. Recommended originallv in Germany, and claimed to be almost a specific, it was there, also, that the employment of the drug was subjected tojthe mostsevere criticism. Some recent publications have again d rawn attention to the alleged value of this substance, and most remarkable among these is an article by Dr. Roess, which appeared in “ L’he Therapeutischs Monatshatte.” The author asserts that he has employed turpentine in diphtheria for the past four years. In that time he lost only five cases out of sixty that came under treatment. Two of the fatal cases concerned infants one year old,who appeared moribund when first seen and died a few hours later. Tne other fatal cases were also unusually severe from the start, two dying in thirty-six boure, and one surviving five days. This is certainly a noteworthy' record, as diphtheria elatistica go. The oil of turpentine was administered in dram doses three times a day. Sweet kpirits cf niter was used as a corrective, in the proportion of one part of the spirits to fifteen of the turpentine. Symptoms of intoxication were never observed by the author. In addition to the turpentine, a 2 per cent, solution of sodium aalicy late was given every two hours in tablespoonful dosea. A gargle of chlorate of potash solution was likewise employed whenever possible. Under this plan of treatment rapid amelioration of local signs and constitutional symptoms was observed. Usually improvement began at once, and it was rarely necessary to push the drug beyond five or eight doses. It should be remarked in this connection, however, that a very generous and stimulating fluid diet (strong broth, port wine, milk, etc.,) formed a feature of Dr. Roese’s plan of treatment. Those who are inclined to be skeptical with regard to the utility of medicines in the severer forms of diptheria (and the profession contains many such) will scarcely accept the author’s figures without challenge. On the other hand, for the very reason that violent diphtheria ..ordinarily justifies so gloomy a prognosis, we are ever ready to employ any means at our command which may possioly reduca its frightful mortality. There ia no reason, therefore, why the turpentine treatment of this diease should not be given a fair tiiaL 0. J. Jones, the buffalo breeder of Kansaa, recently sold to Austin Corbin, president of lhe Reading railroad, six load of buffalo. They will be sent east before long and will be put on Mr, Corbins place on Long Island. ‘ »

EXCHANGE SIFTINGS

The standard oil—castor. A great increase—triplets. The best thing out is a cigarette. The bustle has the bulge on women. What to expect in bonnets—women. De timid man purchases many a padlock. Strawberry box bettoms are in the market. »■ De homelies’ cask may 00 full ob de bes’eidah. Cupid is always shooting and forever making Mrs. Sleepy HolloW ; —“Good night!” over the telephone. The public will surely sour on the vinegar “trust.” The greatest drawback to tobogganing is the draw back. De lazy man wudn’ wack any hahdah es he had fo’han’s. Before making fruit-cake current expenses must be considered. The deaf man finds some consolation in the hope of a bear-after. Detroit Free Press: “Green goods” readily find verdant purchasers. It is not altogether strange that a beetrothal should lead to a honeymoon. A Statesman and Pattriot never throwe a shore thing over his shoalder. It seems rather strange, but shaking down a fire is not always a grateful task. It isn’t always the man who gets the most tickets printed that gets the election. Openin, the eampane and the bunghole at the same time makes a fat ballet box. Whittlin’ may be time wasted, but bewar’ ob de man w’at whittles w’ile he dickers. Don’t judge by appearance. A brand-new coat may cover a wire dummy. The dirt on a politishan’a hands most always rubs off onto the legislation he hanales. There is no reason why a man should not favor taking the tax oft' tobacco if he chews. The postage stamp on a love letter is the prettiest picture young eyes can rest upon. The man who is most constantly begging pardon cares the least whether he ever gets it. Most boarding-house keepers are philanthropic. They would like to Bee consumption cured. Happiness has no time to stay long with those who interfere with the private aflairs of others.

Rich Men's Beginnings.

Chicago News. Instances olio w’y beginnings are not rare in the list of Chicago millionaires. J. W. Dome, the .president of the Merchant’s Loan and Trust Company, began his commercial career in Chicago a very small dealer in peanuts. W. H. Hoyt, the wholesale grocer and founder of the immense tea trade between Chicago and China, in his youth Kept a little apple stand at the door of the old Richmond Hotel on Lake street. L. J. Gage’s first work was as a carpenter in his father’s box factory on the West Side. The Libby Bros-, the immensely rich packers, started as working butchers. Jacob Rosenburg, the capitalist, and Levi Rosenfeld, who died last summer, whose great fortunes were largely increased by their share in lhe Michael Reese $11,000,000 estate, were both peddlers and carried packs about the surrounding country. H. A. Kohn, the head of the big wholesale clothing house on Franklin street, was also a peddler. N. K. lairbank boasts that be cm lay a brick now as well as in his youth, when he worked as a mason. C. H. McCormick and'Lsander J. McCormick were foundrymen. The first shop they owned was a small shed on Nonh Water street, east of Rush. B. P. Hutchinson earned his youthful wageeTas i shoemaker. Nelson Morris blacked boots and did chores around a small inn in the old Sherman Stock Yards. Afterward he began trading in lame hogs. C. B. Farwell’s first employment in Chicago was as the smallest clerk in George Smith’s bank en Lake street. Conrad Seipp, the millionaire brewer, was a common brewery hand, and his partner, Lshmann, was a carpenter. Jerome Beecher was a common workingman. John T. Lester was a clerk in A. G. Down’s dry goods store.

Getting on Fairly Well.

Springfield Union. They were in the parlor, occupying one chair with but a single thought. They had discussed the tariff, the Irish question, the sleighing, the opera, the weather and other important topics till conversation was about fagged out. After a long pause: “Ducky!'’ “Whatty?” “Do you think I make any progress in courting?” “Well, I should say you were holding yeuf own.’’ Tableau. *» ,

Dr.McCosh as a Financier.

Waterbury American. Princeton's new president, Dr. Patton, will not beg for money. In this respect he is in marked contrast with his predecessor, Dr. McCosh. There is not a richFresbytertan old maid in the United States—and there are a good many of them—whom he has not wooed bebincLthesednctive teapot, greatly to the increase of Princeton’s boodle.