Rensselaer Republican, Volume 20, Number 14, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 December 1887 — She Didn't Want It. [ARTICLE]

She Didn't Want It.

Detroit Free Frew. “Madam,” he began as the door opened, “I am selling a new book on ‘Briquette and Deportment.’ ” ~~ “0, you are!” she responded. Go down there on the grass ahd clean the mud off your feet.” . " “Yes’m. As I was saying, ma’am, I am sell —” “Take off your hat! Never address a strange lady at her door without removing your hat.” “Yes’m. Now, then, as I wa* saying “Take yonr hands out of your pockets! No gentleman over o&rries his hands there.” “Yes'm. Now, ma’am, this work on Eti-” “Throw out your cud. If a gentleman usee tobacco he is careful not to disgust others by the habit.” “Yos’m. Now, ma’am, in calling your attentioa to this valuable—'” “Wait! Put that dirty handkerchief out of sight, and use less grease on your hair. Now you look flalf way decent. You have a book on ‘Etiquette and Deportment?’ Very well. I don’t want it. Jam only the hired girl. You can come in, however, and talk with the lady of the house. She called me a liar this morniDg, and I think she needs something of the kind.” Then the Toong Doctor Had * Fit. St Pant Globe. Young Doctor—You say you have a pain in yonr side. Patient—Yes. “How long have yon been troubled with it?” •» “Since last sight. I was walking down town about nine o’clock; all of a sadden I felt a ranking nensation on—” “Epilepsy!” “And then all was dark, .1 ha—” i “Epilepsy, sure; go on!” “I had stepped into a coal hole.”