Rensselaer Republican, Volume 20, Number 11, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 November 1887 — PARENTAL BLUNDERS. [ARTICLE]

PARENTAL BLUNDERS.

Mint akm They M*ke iu ihc Trainm* ofVouiti. | Tyranny or Too »reat lulmrj Showl4'j Bo Avoidoil— Kirmno»» Jfe**«»Tiry tn Proper IM.olpUno-i’liyiiloal and Moral j Development Both Needed. Rev. Dr. Talniage preached at the Brooklyn Tabernacle last Sunday. ■Subject. “Parental Blunders.’’ Text, I. Samuel, iv., 18: “He fell from off the seat backward by-tlje side of the gate, anti-His neck brake, and he died; for he j was.an old man and heavy.” Dr. Tal- 1 mage said: i This is the end of a long story of pa rental neglect. Judge Eli wan a good man. but he let his two boys, Hophiii j and Phinehas, do as they pleased, and j through over-indulgence they went to I ruin. The blind old Judge, ninetyeight years of age, is seated at the’ gate waiting for the news of an important battle in which his two sons were at the front. An -xpress is coming with tidings from the battle. • This blind nonagenarian pijts his hand behind bis ear and listens, and cries: “What meahetli the noise of this tumult?” An excited messenger, all out of breath, witn the soeed, pard to him: “Gur army is defeated. The sacred chest, called the ark, is captured, and your sous are dead on the field.” No wonder tin* father fainted and expired. The domestic tragedy in which these two sons were, the tragedians had finished its fifth and last act. “He fell from oft'the seat backward by the side of the gate, and his neck brake, ahd he died; for he was an old man and heavy. Oh; the ten thousand mistakes in rearing children—mistakes of parents, mistakes ot teachers in day schools and Sabbath classes, mistakes which we ali makt-! Will it not be useful to consider

them? Tide country is going to be captured by a great army, compared with which that of Bald win the First and Xerxes and Alexander and Grant and Lee, -11 put together, were in numbers insignificant. They will capture all our pulpits, storehouses, factories and halls of legislation, afrbnr shipping, all our wealth and all our honors. They will take possession of our authority, from the United Siates Presidency down to the huui blest constabulary—of everything between the Atlantic and Pacific oceans. They arc on the march now, and they halt neither day nor night. They will soon be here, and all the present active population of this country must surrender and give way. I refer to the great army of children. Whether they shai! take possession of everything for good or for bad depends upon the stvla ot preparation through which they pass on tlieir way from the cradle to the throne. If a parent, you will remember when you were aroused to these great responsibilities, and when you found that you had not dotie all required after you had admired the tiny hands, and the glossy hair, and the bright eyes that lav in the cradle. You suddenly remembered that that hand would yet be raised to bless the world with its benediction or to smite it with a curse. In Ariosto’s great poem there is a character called ' Rngg’erc, who has a shield of insufferable splendor, but it is kept veiled save on certain Occasions* and when uncovered it startled and overwhelmed-its beholder, who before had no suspicion of its brightness. My hope to-dav is to uncover the destiny of yoUr child or student, about which you rauv have no especial appreciation, and flash upon you the splendors of its immortal nature. Behold the shield and the sword of its conflict! I propose in this discourse u> set forth what I consider to be some oi the errors prevalent in the trainingotclmdren. First, I remark that many err in too great scverity or too great, leniency of family government;. Between parental tyranny and ruinous laxativeness of discipline there is a medium. Sometimes the father errs on one side and the mother on the,other side. Good family govemmenfis all important. An- * arehy and misrule in the domestic circle is the foreruuuev of anarchy aim misrule in the State. What a reprosiye spec fade is a home without order, or discipline. disobedience-and aim r and Lilsehood lifting tlieir horrid front in the place which should he consecrated to all that is holy, and peaceful, and h.-auti full In the attempt to avoi 1 all this, and bring the children pr,de'r proper laws and regulations, p-.r-nts have sometimes carried themselves with great rigor. John Howard, who-vas merciful to the prisoners and laxan ttos.was merciless in the treat mem of hi-, children. John Milton knew everything but how 10 train his family.. Severe and nr- ; reasonable was. he in his carriage to ward, j them. ■ HP made them read To lulu in four or five languages, but would no: a;- I low them to learn any of th-. n. for he 1 said that one-tongue wiis enough for a' woman. Their leading mechanical drudgery, when, if they liad understood the languages they rea l ’.be employ iner.t or reading might havGhi en a i-,u----ury. No, wonder his childr. n despised him and stealthiiv sold his -books, and hoped for his death. In ages there brs been need ot a soeb tv for the pre vent ion of cruelty to children, When B ifbara was put to death t>\ : er fa her -because she had counterm«t;de»d his or der and had three wimiv-vnT— put in fly room inslead-ot 4wo, this cruel parent was a type of many who fsaye acten the Nero and the Robespierre iu the home circle. t The heart sickens at wii.tt you sometimes see. even in families thai pretend to be Christians —perpetual scokiirg,and hair-pulling,afld ea'-buxing, and thump-. inc. and stamping, and fault-finding,and until the children are vexed bevono bounds and growl in the sleeve, and pout, and rebel, and vow within themselves that in after days they will teiaiiate for tne cruelties practiced. •f«ny a home has become as full oi disputes as was the home of John O r Groat, who built a home in the most northerly part of Great Britain. And tradition says that the house had eight windows, and eight doors, and a table of eight sides, otcause he had eight children,and tot* only way to keep them out of bitter q tarrei was to have a eeperate appantitent for each one of them. Thai child’s nature is too delicate to F-t- worked upon by aledge-hamnier, and gouge, and pile-driver. Buch fierce lashjng. instead of bpsaking the'high mettle to bit and trace wid make it dagh off the more uncomroliaole," Many seem to think that children are flax—not-fit

for use until they have been hatcheled andßwirgled. Borne one, talking to a child, saiu: “I wonder what makes that tree out there s»croocked?” The child replied: “I suppose it was trod ©n while it was young.” In Some families all the discipline is concentraiod upon the child's head. If anything is'done wrong the euppe&Hkm-is thatG-nrge did it. He broke the latch; he left open the gate; he hacked the balusters; he whittled sticks on the carpets. And George phall Vie the seme goat for all domes.io misunderstanding* and suspicions. If things get wrong in the culinary department, in Coiiiefl the mother and says angrily: “Where is George?” If business matters are perplexing at the store, in comes the father at night and says, angrily: “Where is G iorge?” in many a household there is Bitch a one singled out for suspicion and castigation. All the sweet floM*re of his soul blasted under this perpetual north east storm, he. curses the day in which he was born. Baser the child in an ark of buhushes on the Nile, among crocodiles, than in an elegant mansion, amid such domestic gorgonfi. Ghildrfn are apt to be echoes Of their parents. Safer in aB« thfel em manger among cattle and camels, with geiitte Mercy to watch the lit tle-innocent,than the most extravagant nursery over which God’s star of peace neter stood The t rapper extinguishes the* flames on the prairie hy fighting fire w ith fire, but you can not. with the fire of your own disposition, put out the fire of a. ehihPs disposition. Yet we may rush to the other extreme and rule children by too great leniency. Thesnrgeonis hot unkind,. because, notwithstanding the resistance of his patient,he goes straight on with firm hand and unfaultering heart to take off the gangrene. Nor is the parent less affectionate and faithful because, notwithsfanding all violent remonstrances on the pari of the child he with the irrnest discipline advances t<t the cutting off of its evil inclinations. Tine Bible says: “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not iky soul spare: for his crying.” Childish range unchecked will, after a while, become a hurricane, Chidish petulance will grow* up into misanthropy. Childish rebellion will develop info the lawlessness of riot and sedition. If yon would ruin the child,dance to his every capi ice and stuff him with confectionery. Before you are aware oi It that boy or six years will go down the street, 'a cigar in bis mouth and ready on any corner whit his comradesTo compare pugilistic attainments. The parent- who-allows-?he child to grow hp without ever having learned the great duty ot obedience and submission

lias prepared a cup of burning gall for hia own lips and appalling destruction for his. descendant. Remember Eli and his twosone, Hophni and Piiinehas. A second error prevalent in the train ing of children is a laying out of a theory and following it without arranging it to varieties of dispositions. In ejrery family you will find striking difference oi temperament. This child is too timid, ana that too bold, this too inactive, and that too boisterous. Now, the farmer who Bhould plant corn and wheat and turnips the same way, then put them through the hopper and grind them in .the same mill, would not be so much o! a fool as the parents who. should attempt to discipline and educate all their children in the same-man-ner. It needs a skillful hand to adjust these checks and balances. The rigidity of government which is necessary to hold in this impetuous nature would utterly crush that flexible disposition, while the gentle reproof that would suffice far ihe latter would, when used on the former, —he like attempting to hold a champign Bucephalus with reins of gossamer. God gives us in the disposition of each child a hint as to how we ought 1 o train him, as God in the' mental structure of our children indicates what mode of training is the best. He also indicates in the disposition their future occupation, Do not write down that child as dud because it may not be as brilliant as your otiler children or as those of your neighbor. Borne of the mightiest men and women of the centuries had. a stupid childhood. Thomas Aquinas was called at school “the dumb ox,” hut si her ward demon-’ strated ids sanctified genius, and was called “the angel of the schools” and, “the edgie of Brittany.” Kindness and : patience with a- child will conquer almost anything, and they are virtues so Christ-like .that they are inspiring to look at. John Wesley's kiss of a child on, the pulpit, stairs turned' Matthias Joyce fronta pro<iigau‘ t imo a ’daitiiiig evangel. The third error prevalent in the training of children in the one sided development of cither.the physical; intellectual or tiiorai nature at the expense; of. the others .Those, lor instance, gie.dly mistake who, while they are faiilifut to the intellectual and m.-ral culture of j children,forget the physical. The bright I t.yes half quenched by night'stufly; the j cramped chest that comes- from too | much bending over school desks, the weak side resulting from of : habit, paiq cheeks and the gaunt bodie* of muhiiudes of children attest that physical development does not alHow do you suppose all those tr.-astires of knowledge the child gets wiL look in :si Himes u-ikcu? And now how much ; wilt yon give for tne wealthiest cargo j wnen tt ; i piit into a leaky ship? How ; can that might sharp blade of a child’s i attainments tie w ielded without any I'hjiidje?. What are brains worth v.-iih'-1 out soouideis to carry them? What is j a child w ith giagnifieeni mind but an I exhausted bodyßetter that a young nn;r. of iwenty-one go forth into the WQrid-.w uhaut-knowiug A frorn 2 if fie. have”hea ttli 61 body aud energy to push his wav througti the world than at twenty one o ©liter upon active life, his head stuffed with Socrates, and Herodotus, and Bacon, and La Place, but no physical force to sustain him in the j shock of ear* bly couAics. From this j infinite olunder of parents how many ; have come out in life with a genius that could have piled Ossa on Pelion and : and mourned upon them to scale ! the heavens, and have laid down I panting with physical exhaustion before a bibb* hill. They who {.might have tbriued Benates ahd marshaled. ariuies and startled the worid ' w .tb me shock ot their scientific batter{ies, have passed their lives in picking rup prescriptions for indigestion. They ! earned ail the 1 nnnderboits of Jupiter, i but could, no gei out of their rocking--I,chairs to use tliem George Washington in early life was a poor speller, and spelied hai “h a double t,” and a ream of paper he spelled “rheam,” but he knew enough to spell out the indopary)rence of dhis country from foreign op-

' ■ •’ ' V ”1 pression. The knowledge of the schools is important, bat therte" are other things just aa important. Just as great is the wrong done when i the mind is cultivated and the heart neglected. The ybuth of this day are seldom denied any schlplarlv ath.inmente. t Our schools and seminaries are ever .rowing ir: effiri^ncy 1 , And the Btudfentß" I are conducted through all the realms of i philosophy, and art, and language, and I mathematics. The most hereditary ob- ! tuseneas gives way before the onslaught of adroit instructors. But there is a development of infinite importance which mathematics and the dead languages can not affect. The more menI tal power the more capacity -for evil unless, coupled with religious restraint. You discover that terrible power for evil unsanctified genius pos-osses when i you sge Scalinger with his scathing ! ! denunciations assaulting the best men ; of his time, and Blount and Spinoza and : Bolingbroke leading their hosts of 1 followers into the ail-consuming tires of skepticism and infidelity. Whether knowledge is a mighty good qr an unmitigated evil depends entirely upon which course it takes. The ri\er rolling on between round banka makes ali the valley laugh with golden wheat and rank grass, anti catching hold the wheelof mill and factory, whirls it with great industries. But, breaking away from restraints and dashing over banks in red wrath, it washes away harvests from tln-ir moorings and makes the vailey shrink s ri!h the catastrophe. Fire in the fuvns 'e beats the house cr drives the steamer; but, uncontrolled, warehotr.Pß go down in awful crash, before it, and in a few Ivors half a ciT will lie in black ruin, walls and towers and church* > :nd m-nnntrier.?s You must aceorr.pa.ny the. ■ •Kc.iMon of file intellect Wi •« th© r-vVHufion of the heart, or you are rising tip within your child an eneigv wl : li wi’l be blasting and terrific. ; ■ ivr a wicked dunce than a wicked phitoaophe.'. The fourth error often committed in the training of children is the supprestion of childish sportfmlness. Don’t put religion on your child as a straight jacket. Parents after having for a good many years been jostled about in the rough world often loose their vivacity, and are astonished to see how their children can act so thoughtlessly of the earnest world all about them. This is a cruel parent who quenches any of the light in a child’s soul. Instead of arresting its sportfulnes, go forth and help him trundle the hoop, and fly the kite, and build the Bnow castle. Those shoulders are too little to carry a burden, that brow is too young to be wrinkled, these feet are too sprightly to go long at a iuneral pace. God bless their young hearts! Now is the time for them to be sportful. Let them romp and sing and laugh, and go with a rush and a hurrah. In this way they gather up a surplus of energy for future life. For the child that walks around with a scowl, dragging his feet as though they were weights, and sitting down by the hour in moping and grumbling, T prophesy a life of utter inanition and discontent. Sooner hush the robins in the air till they are silent as a bat, and lecture the frisking lambs on the hillside until they walk like old sheep, rather tkan put exhilarant the stocks. : —— she fifth error in the training of childhood is the postponement of its moral culture until too late. Multitudes of children because of their precocity have been urged into depths of study where they ought not to go, and their intellects have been overburdened and overstrained and battered to pieces against Latin and—algebras* —and coming lorih into practical life they will hardly rise to mediocrity, and there is now a stuffing and cramming system of education in the schools of our country that is deathful to the teachers who have toeufotoe it, and destructive to the children who must submit to the process. You find children at nine and ten years of age with Bchool lessons only appropriate for children of fifteen. If children are kept in school and studying from nine to three o’clock, ho home study except music ought to b« required of them. Bix hours of study i 3 enough for any child. The rest of the day oughuto be devoted to recreation and pure fun: But you can not begin too early the moral culture of a child, or on too conmiete a reale. You can look back upon your own life and remember what mighty impressions were made upon you at five or six years of'age. Oh, that child does . not ait so silent during vour * conversa--1 ’tion to be influenced by it! You sav be decs not nnrfftrstftnifr "although much of your phraseology is beyond his grasp, he is gathering up from vour talk influences which will affect his immortal destiny. From the question he asks you long After ward you find he under stood all about what you were saying. You think the child 1 does not appreciate that beautiful cloud, hue its most delicaie linesare reflected into the very depths e's the youthful nature, and a score of years from now you will see the shadow of that cloud in the tastes and refinements developed? The song with which you sing that child to sleep will echo through all its life and ring back from the very arches of heaven. I think tbal often the first s o ven years ofa child’s life decides whether it shall be

■irascihle, waspish, rude,false, hypocritical or gentle, truthful, frank, obedient, honest and Christian. The present generations of men will pass off very much as they are now. Although the Gospel is offered them, the general rule is that i d rmikards die drunkards., thieves . die, thievs, libertinesdie libertines. There* fore, t.. 'he youth we tarn. Before they sow wild oats get them to sow wheat and barley. You fill the bushel measure w ith good corn, and there will be no room for husks. For all who are trying to do their duty as parents I quote the tremendous passage: “ Train up a child in the way in which he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” If through good discipline and prayer and godly example you are acting upon that child you have the right to expect him to grow up virtuous. And how many tears you will Bhed when you see your child honorable and just and truthful and Christian and succe6Biul —a holy man amid a world of dishonesty, a godly woman in a world of frivolous pretension. When you come to die they will gather to bless your last hours. They will push back the white locks on your cold forehead and say: “What a good father he always was to me!” They will fold- your hands peacefully and say “Dear motherl She is gone. Her troubles are all over. Doesn’t she look beantifnlT” * Money move* the crops that make the great west the granary of the world.