Rensselaer Republican, Volume 19, Number 44, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 July 1887 — Page 2

The Republican. G. F. MARSHALL. I’vm.isnKji. RENSSELAER. INDIANA

Tint public debt reduction for June was about $15,000,000. y Tbs tide has turned. Political dishonesty has become odious. The public no longer smiles at' crookedness. Robbery in high places is no longer winked at or excused. ' - - . ■ . Bsbon dk Rothschild himself paid the entire expenses of the Jewish jubilee celebration in London. He might have borne the coat of the English part of it, too, and not been a financial wreck. Abovt 207,000 cattle were marketed in the Chicago stock yards In June, being, with one exception, the largest ever received in a single month. In October, 1883, the receipts were nearly 218.000 head. . The births recorded in London every week exceed the deaths by more than a thousand, and during the next ten years the increase in the number of inhabitants will probably be nearly three-auarters of a million. , Waltbb Mvbbat Gibson, the American Premier of the Hawaiian Kingdom, is said to be not only the power behind the throne, but ambitious to mount the throne itself. He persistently declines to be knighted or decorated, and is likely to be the leader in the anticipated revolt against King Kalakaua. J. D. Willett, representing a syndicate from Louisville, Ky., has made application to W. Merz, land agent of the Manitoba Railroad company, for the purchase of ten thousand acres of land in Stearns county, Minnesota. If the purchase of such an amount of land can be perfected, it is understood large emigration parties in Kentucky will follow. The Hon. J. F. White, of Atlanta, Ga., has a sac simile of the declaration of the independence, in the handwriting of Thomas Jefferson, showing the alterations made by John Adams and Benjamin Franklin. With interlinlations, corrections, and erasures, it presents a very undignified appearance. Mr, White has had the sac-simile in his possession for thirty- -- .A’* ~~~~ ■/ A bbight Vassar graduate, who was promised by her father a dollar for every cent she might earn by her own labor, obtained work in a factory at $6 a week. After paying her $10,003 in the course of about sixteen weeks, the old gentleman concluded he had got about all the fun out of the joke that there was in it and called a halt. The girl at once lost her interest in factory life. Geobge W. Childs of Philadelphia is a wealthy man. He is building an elegant and costly drinking fountain in the mar - ket place atStratford-upon Avon in honor of Shakespeare, but he can well afford the expense of taking it down, carting it away to the birth-place of Lord Bacon, and having a new inscription engraved on it, as he will of course do after Ignatius Donnelly's book comes out Mb. Powdeblt in a recent letter deeply deplores unrestricted immigration and - favors the adoption •of some measure to check the tide of ignorance, barbarism. and pauperism flowing into this country. He also believes that the sens and daughters of wage workers must be given better educational opportunities, if a condition of affairs “worse than anarchy” is to be averted in the near future. A few days ago Dr. C. H. Stubbs, of Wakefield. Lancaster county, Pa., and another man were standing in a barn-door during a rainstorm. A hat blew off and Dr. Stubbs went out to get it As he stooped to pick it up a large, forked limb was blown from the tree and fell down over his body, the branches of the fork" entering the ground on either sides and -pinning him fast to the earth, but without injuring him. The statistics of the growth of the English Church and of the good deeds done by churchmen during the fifty years’ reign of Queen Victoria are thus summonized: A carefully drawn up table shows that six thousand churches and places of worship havaLlbeen built as against three thousand by all outside religious denominations put together. The home episcopate has been increased by seven new dioceses and the colonial by aixty-two. Within the last twenty-five years <406,000,000 has been freely and voluntarily subscribed for church pur- - DO*ea,jmd $110,000,000 for the purpose of elementary education in voluntary' schools —all under the oversight and government of the church. Aim of the land grant railroads of the country have returned answers to Secretary Lamar’s order rewiring to show cause why the wlveral orders of withdrawal from settlement of the lands within their indemnity limits should not be revoked and the lands thrown open to settlement. With but few exceptions the roade-in reply state that if they had their One they would receive more land than they now have, as much of the land granted* them hai been pre-empted and there is no land from which to make selections. The St. Paul k Sioux City Bailroad Company takes the ground that this matter is beyond the jurisdiction of the Secretary of the Interior. The Atlantic k Pacific Railroad states that it has earned 1,000,000 acres more land than it has received.

CONDENSED NEWS.

Latest Intelligence From all Parts of the World. FIRE RECORD. At New Orleans, La., Werlein Hal), formerly the old National Theatre, was destroyed by fire. < utler A Savage’s lumberyard at Spring Lake, Mich., was burned, together with over 2,000,000 feet of lumber. Loss, $30,000. ' The fire record Monday included a cooperage', establishment at St. Louis, Missouri, loss, $109,000: Hopley A Hopfs, brewery at Pittsburg: and the brick Malt houio of the Weber Brewing Company, Cincinnati, loss, $95,000. Fire destroyed n large portion of Elizabethtown, Ky. The postoffice, bank, and newspaper office we-e burned. The loss is estimated at $100,000.' A disastrous fire at West Stewartstown, destroyed a large building owned by E. D. Parker containing a large furniture establishment, woolen-mill, machineshop, and carpenter shop.lxiss, $50,000; insurance light. Fire at Hurley. Wis., destroyed two blocas of buildings and caused a loss of probably SIOO,OOO. Monday ’afternoon’s blaze at Marshfield, Wis., was still more destructive, over $1,000,000 worth of property being wiped out of existence. In the latter town many families are homeless. Ashes <nd smoking timbers mark the site of Marshfield, Wis. Fire swept over if. and swallowed up every vestige. of business blocks, residences, churches and railroad stations. Two thousand people are boneless, all communication is cut off, end the loss is estimated at $1,000,000.

CASUALTIES.

- At Springfield, Mass., als year-old boy had his scalp partially torn off and one arm deeply lacerated by n leopard in one j of Barnum’s cages. Thelad climbed upon | the animal’s cage and was peering inside when the brute tried to drag him in. At Greenville. 111., Monday a baloon ascension was made. The aeronaut was unfortunate enough to come d-iwn on a pair of horses which kicked and injured him severely. By the explosion of a threshing machine engine on the farm mar Mascoutah. 111., John Plot), the engineer, was instantly killed. Three others were seriously injured. ’The' thresher and two wagons were burned, and two horses were killed. , A passenger train or the Cincinnati <t Muskingum Valley railroad was wrecked j near Zanesville. The baggage car Was thrown down an embankment and a combination car followed half-way down. Three coaches loaded with picnickers were derailed. Strange to say, nobody was ki led. Baggageinaster Lane was badly hurt and he is the only person injured. Six’men were crushed to death near Portsmouth, AX, by the ... caving-in of an excavation. forest fires south of Grand Haven, Michigan, are consuming much valuable timber. At BarracKsviile, W. Va., John Jennings, engineer of a freight train, was killed in a collision on the Bultimore <fc Ohio Road. John Davis was seriously injured. Cattle in four cars were all killed, and the train took fire and burned. John McCollum was burned to death in a fire at Bay City, Mich. Seymour When ton fell forty feet and escaped with a broken arm.

CRIMES AND CRIMINALS.

An examination of the accounts of Levi Bacon, late financial clerk of the interior department, who died on the 22 ult., has revealed a deficiency of $28,000. At Marquette, Mich., Monday, John McGinnis advised William Anderson that the manner in which he carried his gun was not calculated to soothe the nerves of the crowd enjoying the celebration. For this Mr. Anderson shot the meddler dead, and was thrown into jail. Mrs. George Harrington, of Brady, Mich., was beaten in a cruel manner by her husband. Thursday. A short time after she took morphine, and died Friday. ' S. D. Whitney, Secretary of the Canadian Board of Harbor Commissioners, is missing, and is said to be a defaulter to a large amount. On Friday, July Ist, Albert Turner, colored, , was hanged at. Lc risville. Ky., for the brutal murder of Jennie Bowman. ’ ——— —— . ' ' • ’ Thomas Ballard, the notorious counterfeiter, has been pardoned by the President, Executive clemency has also been extended to half a dozen other convicts. The bonds of the Fidelity bank-wreck- ' ers, Harper and Hopkins, have been increased to $200,000 and SIOO,OOO reepecfl ively. This is taken as an indication that ] the prosecution “means business. - ’ Chael Roork, the West Shore empressrobber, has been sentenced to twenty years at hard labor in Auburn prison. At Waukegan, IIL, two women were brutally assaulted by a desperado, who entered the house for the purpose of-rob-bery. Mrs. Julia Lloyd, one Of the victims, is not expected to survive. the. jury brought in a verdict of guilty after being out but thirteen minutes. Sharp will remain in Ludlow street jail until July 13, -vhen sentence will be passed. Three men have been arrested at Alpena, Mich., who are thought to be the fur-rob-bers who-reseued-their leader McMunn at Ravenna, 0., after a desperate figly, in which an officer was fatally wounded. Jimmy Carroll; the notorious burglar, j who has been in jail at Galesburg, 111., charged with com plicit y in robbing the Farmers and Mechanic’s bank in 1877, will be set at liberty soon because, of the i i inability of the witnesses to be present pt ‘ the trial. , In her home in Jeffersonville, Ind., Miss

Sarah Aldridge, aged 19. was found shot in tl<e head. George Jette!, her lover, who was in the parlor with her. atlya she shot herself while he was asleep with hie head on her lap. but his story is doubted, and he lias been imprisoned.

INDUSTRIAL.

All the glass factories in the country have shut down for thirty or sixty days. There is prospect of trouble between the employers and workmen in some branches of this industry over the question of wages and other matters. All the differences between the manufacturers and the iron and steel workers were amicably adjusted at a meeting in Pittsburgh, and the scale signed, so that there will be no strike. Concessions were made by both side’s. A strike is threatened at the Fort Wayne railroad shops in Allegheny City, Pa., which is likely to throw out of emyloyment between four and five hundred men. The trouble is canard by a new style of box car, on which there is almost twice as much labor .s. on the ordinary cars. The men ref use to work cm—them unless their wages are advanced, and recently sixteen carpenters quit work. Sympathy for the strikers is vpry strong in theother. departments, and unless there is a settlement a general strike is probable. The Master Masons' association has appointed a committee of five to act with a similar committee to be appointed by the bricklayers in Arbitrating the existing troubles. The committee was instructed to stand firmly by the de daration of principles recently promulgated by the as sedation, and insist upon its recognition as the basis of any settlement. It is estimated that since the inauguration of the strike in the coke region three 1 months ago,’ opera: ors and employes have .lost $750,000 in wages and profits. It is insisted that the operators are making ’ arrangements for a force of Pinkerton men to protect life and property.

WASHINGTON.

During the last fiscal year there were issued 112,840 pension certificates. Of! this number 55,194 were original cases; i 8,4, r 5 were Mexican-war claims, 10.030 were “amputation” casts, and 32.107 were increase cases. The remainder were “re- i issue.” The President has granted pardons to John W. Tankisley, convicted in Kentucky j of violating interest revenue laws, and E. | Backering convicted in Tennessee of pass- t ing counterfeit money. • During Jr. le 2,516,093 standard dollars were coined. , A Washington Special says: The statement of Dr. McGiynn that the cabinet was sounded on the subject of-receiving an I ambassador from the church of Rome is discredited; ■ • — — —4 Chief Engineer Henry Lee Synder, . United States navy, died suddenly at j Washington. ~ . i Ao Washington special says: “Senator ! M. C. Butler of South Carolina is quoted i as saying he believes Secretary Lamar will be appointed to the vacancy on the Su-.| preme bench and that Senator Colquitt of Georgia will probably succeed Mr. ! Lamar as (secretary of the Interior. The r Georgia Senator denies that he has been offered the place, but it. seems to be un- ‘ derstood among his friends that he can | have it if he desires it- Senator Colquitt j has been stnongly identified with the tern- ' penance movement in Georgia, and some doubt has been expressed as to the ad- ■ visability of the President's inviting him into the cabinet on that account.” The general land office has adopted a new code of regulations governing the ! entry of desert lands, prevent the frauds which have heretofore been practiced on such an extensive scale in i claims of this character. A long-standing claim of the State of ; Kansas against the general government . for $43,790, based upon certain stipulations of the Kansas ad mission act of 1861, has been rejected by tne secretary of the interior. General O. O. Howard telegraphs to the War Department that the hostile Apaches in Armona have been driven back into their reservation and are now under the control of the military.

POLITICAL.

The following members of the Board of < Pension appeals have been reappointed j for one year: George Baber of Kentucky, ,ohn A. Judson of New York, Patrick J. Rogers of New York. Robert D. Grath of North Carolina, S. W. Rittenhouse of the ■] District or Columbia, and Robert F. Hill joEMicHigan. William Porter, of Des Moines, has been f appointed register oi~ the land office Mt ! that city. Judge Thurman predicts Cleveland's renomination and re- elect ion. At Delaware- Ohio, the Frohibition ; sts are holding a three-daye State convention. All of the prominent prohibition orators of tho nation are present and the convention is said to be the largest of the kind ever held in . the United States, state that the platform will be framed with the purpose of securing the approval and support of the labor faction. A full state ticket will be nominated. ' ►

GENERAL.

—1 — — '■ Ex-Governor Morrill died Monlay Torenoon at his home in Augusta, Me. General Burnside was unveiled Monday at Providence, IL I. Thomas S. Baldwin, an. aeronaut, Monday. at Quincy. 111., jumped from a balloon whileit was in the air. and reached the ground in safety by means of a parachutes? — — - s ■' Tammany Hall celebrated the Fourth in the wigwam «t New York, the piinc - pal speakers being Gov. Fitzhugh Lee. of Virginia; Governor Wilson, of Meat Virgin.a; the Hon. S. S. Cox, and the Hon. ,W. C. May bury, of Michigan. ' An epidemic of diptheria in New Fork O , I - JI

City-calls for active measures to stamp cut the disease. I,he report for June chows 521 cases and 213 deaths, principally children. Chinch bugs are reported to bs destroying the wheat crop in portions of lowa. Owing to the reduction of receipts, due to the prohibitory law, the internal revenue office for Mississippi has been transferred to the Louisana office. The receiDts have fallen below $5 1,0 JO, and are decreasing annually. During the month of June the eastward movement of flour through Buffalo fell off 203.615 barrels, wjiile grain increased 5, .9’7.132 bushels. The shipments from Bay City and East Saginaw, for the month of June were less than half for the same month last year. The rate war was the cause, vessels all going into the ore trade. A rather Unfavorable report on crop conditions has just been issued by the Territorial Statistician of Dakota. Hot winds have proved injurious. Corn averages 100 per cent., with an increased acreage, while the condition of spring wheat is but 86 per cent. According to Bradstreet’s there were 400 less failures in the United States during the last six months than for the same period of 1886 An earthquake shock was felt in parts of New Hampshire and Vermont on the Ist instant. D. H. Bates, President of the Baltimore <fc Ohio Telegraph Company, denies that its lines have been sold to the Western Union. A strict quarantine has been established in Westchester county, New York, where pluero-pneumonia is said to prevail. Heavy rains have fallen in the valley of Mexico, and many outlying villages are submerged. The new Mexican customs tariff and the reformed internal revenue system went into effect July Ist. The occasion was celebrated at the City of Mexico by a banquet tendered by merchants of all nationalities to Finance Minister Dubjan. The new postal treaty with the United States also became operativjon ths Ist. It is believed that Jay Gould has finally secured the Baltimore and Ohio telegraph system. The New York World confirms the report that Cyrus W. Field turned over the remainder of his elevated-railway stock to Jay Gould on the 29th of June. The amount was 20,000,shares.

FOREIGN.

The Paris Figaro says the Crown Prince of Germany has visited ths Count of Paris and warned, him tiiat a Floquet-Boulanger Ministry would lead to a war between France and Germany within a month,-and that the policy adopted by .the Monatchid party -would be based on the warning.’ Prince Ferdinand has left Vienna for London to consult Lord Salisburg and the queen on the subject,of his candidacy for the Bulgarian throne France has protested against the conductof Italy in minimizing French rights in Zeilah, on the Red Sea, near the Abyssinian frontier. The captain and three seamen of the British bark Lady Douglas have been condemned to death for murdering a Malay sailor at sea. Ten persons in one family were suffocated in Cuba. The father put leaf-tobac-co on the coals before retiring as a guard against small-pox. In the morning hus band, wife, and eight children were found dead. The Ghilzais, who are in revolt against the ameer, who were reported to have been annihilated, are now credited withan important victory h efore Ghuzni. They are said, however, to have suffered defeat, with heavy loss, near Istadsh. European advices are to the effect that SI,COO,OCX) of gold has been shipped to tnis country, and that the shipments of the next ten jays will amount to $5,000,000. . ~ In a riot at Algiers many Moors were killed and wounded.' Gen. Boulanger has been appointed to the command of the Thirteenth Corps of the French army. Passengers who arrived by the steamer San Pablo report that there is great excitement at Honolulu over the threatened revolution against King Kalakua. It is said that the Germans and Chinese are at the bottom of the trouble, and that the latter will wage a war of extermination with the Hawaiians. durigg which Europeans will gain control.*

THE MARKETS.

CHICAGO. Bxxvxs —Choice to Pnme| 4.10 @ 4.45 Good Shipping 3.90 @ 4.3) Common 8.75 @ 4.20 Hogs—Shipping Grades 4.85 Q 5.05 Floub —Extra Spring ~ 4.25 @ 4.50 Wheat—No. 2 Spring. .. «9 @ 78*X Corn—No. 2 88 Oats—No. 2 25 i 4 @ 26 Potatoes —New, per on. 90 @ 1..‘0 Butteb —Choice Cream*/ __ Fine Dairy.... 13 @ 13 Cheese —-Full Cream Ch J 8 @ Full Cream, new 8 @ B*4 Faw—Frwh . . , 10 @ 10)£ Pobx —Mess 23.00 @2X6O NEW YORK Beeves $ 4.50 @ 5.23 HnGS . 5.30 @ 5. 0 Wheat—No. 2 Red ..... 96 r „@ 97 =Co»KSNdS2Z3YYZ3ZSyTv-. 47L, @ Oats —White.. 37 @ Poke—New Mess .15.50 @ISJS ' ST. LOUIS. Wheat —No. 2 Redßß @ 8814 Cobh—Mixed 37 @ 37% Oats—Mixed, ~.;.v Poke—New Mess 1.00 @17.; 0 Wheat—No.-\ Ke J.... ■■» 87 @ 87 Cobn —No. 2 Oats —No. 2.■ .... —. , 19C (C? 80 Poke—Mess 1“<B @l,O Hogs 4-50 @ 5.00 . ’ DETROIT. Wheat —No. 1 Miute.........- ..f 88 Michigan Red Bjjtj Cobn *2 Oats—No, 2 ... . ...... 30 No. 2 White • / •> 1 - • «■ • " • -.- 1

A VILLAGE SWEPT BY FIRE.

Marshfield, Wis., Totally Wiped Out of Existence. ire almost swept out of existence the town of Marshfield, and 2,000 people are left homeless. The loss is not less than $1,000,000. A locomotive spark started a blaze in the lumber yard of the Upham furniture factory, and it rapidly developed into a roaring fire that spread toward the town. Insufficient fire protection facilities prevented any resistance to the flames and soon several flourishing factories, the business blocks along the main street, and adjoining residences were wrapped in flames. The people gathered such household effects as they could and fled to the woods. The heat Was so intense that 2,500 feet of the Wisconsin Central track, which runs through one end of the town, was bent and twisted into the most grotesque shape, on account of which travel was impeded for a whole day. Special trains from Stevens Point and Chippewa Falls conveyed fire-engines to the place, but the fire was beyond all control. But one store and a few half-burned houses remain in this flourishing town. Many people were transferred by specials -to neighboring towns, and others capped on the blackened outskirts of .the village. Among the buildings destroyed were a woodenware factory, the gristmill, sawmill, and factory of the Upham Manufacturing Company, the Tremont and several minor hotels, the warehouses along ths Wisconsin Central, its depot, four churches, and the entire business centre. The insurance is less than one-fifth of the loss.

THE WRECKED FIDELITY.

Mr. David Armstrong, of Cincinnati, 0., has had his bond as received of the Fidelity National Bank accepted, and he is , now in charge of the defunct institution. Comptroller of the Currency Trenholm and Solicitor of the Treasury McCue has gone to Washington, having given to the receiver and to the United States District Attorney there, respectively, such instructions as could be given at the present time. . ■ Mr. Trenholm, in conversation said, that be would deal with this bank upon the principle that National banks hold a fiduciary relation to the public, and that the profits upon the stock are in part the consideration for the proper discharge of the trust by the officers chosen by the stockholders: and when , as in the case of the Fidelity Bank, this trust is betrayed by the officers, it is the duty of the government to award exemplary punishment not only to the men active in the wrongdoing, but also to those who, being in a position to protect the interests of the depositors, neglected or omitted to discharge that duty. It is understood that the Comptroller and the District Attorney agree ’ that the government officers will aet tor the creditors of the bank, and that individual suits are not necessary, the government regarding it as its duty to exhaust the legal liability of officers and stockholders in the effort to meet claims. Comptroller Trenholm will declare a dividend as soon as t|ie necessary data can be collected.

A NITRO-GLYCERINE FACTORY BLOWN UP.

A terrific explosion occurred at Findlay, Ohio, June 29th, the nitro-glycerine factory of E. N. McCoy blowing up. There were nearly 1,000 pounds of explosive in the building. The concussion caused people for miles around to think that Mli earthquake had occurred. The factory Ttas blown to atoms, but nobody was near enough to be hurt. A hole fifteen feet deep and fifty feet across the top was made in the ground and many trees were blown out. An acre or more of woodland is devastated, and for a great distance from the site of the factory bark was torn from the trees. Somebody with a spite against the proprietor made a fire, and, placing a cap in the cleaning-tank where the stuff was, caused the explosion from a distance. The damage was not great.

FIRE STRICKEN.

The Business Portion of Hurley, Wis., Burned. A most disastrous fire prevailed at Hurley, Wis., on the 28th, destroying about half of the business portion of the town. The fire’started about 10 O'clock in the mofhing in the rear of the market of the Gogebic Meat <fc Provision Company. The fire soon spread to the market and the adjoining buildings, and it was only a few minutes until the brisk wind then prevailing spread the flames to the opposite side of the street. The fire department was called out and rendered efficient service, but the fire had gained too much i headway to be subdued. A number of merchandise establishments and several hotels and boarding houses were destroyed -

FEARFUL STORM IN TEXAS.

Several Lives Lost and Much Property Destroyed in Its Path, A special from Long View, Texas, under date of June 29th, states: One of the 1 most destructive storms ever known here occurred last night. The main portion dij not strike this place, but twenty below here it carried death and destruction in its course. At New Prospect, a! neighboring town twenty miles south of here, five men were killed outright. At Fairplay, a small hamlet, one woman and two children were killed, having taken shelter in an old house on which a very long tree fell, crushing them; In the track of this tornado nothing was left. The county is thinly settled, which accounts for th e few lives lost. William M. Evarts, of New York, and Don Cameron, of Pennsylvania, have more daughters than any other 1 Senators. ■ .. - j A New York man is said to be in j possession of Guiteau’s head, which he is going to exhibit

HUMOROUS.

“The chinchbug eats the farmer’s grain,. The bee-moth spoils hie honey, The bedbug fills him full of pain, T he humbug scoops his money.” Teacher—The wisest man that ever lived said: “There is 'nothing new under the sun.” Little boy (enthusiastically)—But I’ll bet they never had a baby at his house!— New York Ledger. Airs. De Bare—“ Don’t you think,., dear, that there is more individuality in female dress now than formerly?” Mr. pe Bare —“Yes, dear. There is less dress and more individual."— Texas Ulf tings. “What are you laughing at, iny dear?” asked Mrs.' Jones of her husband, who was chuckling over his-_ newspaper. “Something I just struck here,” he replied, “but it is hardly funny enough for two.” Omaha girl—“O! O!” Chicago girl. —“What's the matter?" “That man winked at me.”’ “That handsome man over there?” “Yes, the brute.” “Brute! I should say he was a brute. He didn't even look at me.”— Omaha World. Omaha wife—What has become of your friend, Fireater? Omaha husband—He is still doing editorial work, but is no longer able to hold a pen, and does all his writing by dictation. “Does he dictate to his daughter or his wife?” “To his daughter, of course.’’ —Omaha World. A Missouri girl waved her hand at a stranger and in three days they were married. It is not often that retribution follows closely upon the wake of a naughtiness; but in this instance it will probably be generally admitted that the punishment fits the crime.— Boston Transcript. Tommy—“ Does your mother allow you to kiss the nurse girl?" Johnny—“O, I guess she don’t care. Does yours?" Tommy —“I don’t think she does. I never asked her, but you’d a died to hear lay down the law to pa when she saw him do it one day, an’ she letshim do lots o T things ’she wouldn't let me.” — Pittsburg Dispatch. Court officer (to Queen Victoria)— There’s an Hamerican gent houtside as what wants to see your Majesty. The Queen—lt’s Air. Phelps, I suppose. Tell him I’ve gone over tp tne Tower to see if the Kohinoor is all right. Court officer—lt’s not Air. Phelps; it’s Buffalo Bill. The Queen — O, show him in at once.— New York Hun. The son of a butcher had great difficulty in fractions, although his teacher did his very best. ‘-Now let us suppose,” said the teacher, “that a customer came to your father to buy five pounds of meat, and your father had only four pounds to sell—what would he do’.-” -Keep his hand on the meat while he was weighing it.” was the candid answer. — Philadelphia Call. “I don't see how you can think of all these interesting things to write about,” said a subscriber to the editor of a country weekly, whose paper is zinc-plated on all four sides. “Don’t , you get tired sometimes mentally? ’ “Oh, yes, of course, replied the editor, assuming a careworn look, biit.tb a man who loves his profession ak I love mine mere mental weariness is nothing.—Exchange. ' Aliss Gu^iii^fon— Do you go to the mountains or the shore this summer, Fogg -Well, really I tnought much about it, but I shall most likely go to the mountains as usual. Aliss Gushington—Oh, I should think you’d rather go to the beach. Do you know that I think the sea-beach is perfect paradise? Fogg A’es, the style of dressing at the beach does remind one of old fashions prevalent in Paradise. — Boston Transcript.

Aoth Enjoyed It.

“You went out too soon,” said a wife to her husband at a recent concert; “Patti responded to a third encore, and sang ‘Coming Thro’the Rye.’ - It was simply divine. I fairly drank it in.” “So did I,” he answered, softly, with a slight suspicion of a hiccough; •■•and I can taste it yet.”— Puck.

He hadn't Any Alias.

A newly-appointed policeman in New York arrested a Texan the other night for disturbance. On the way tothe lockup someone asked him: “Has that Texan got an alias?” “No,” said the policeman, “he» .has only got a derringer in his hip-pocket. I searched him', thinking he might have an alias concealed somewhere to stab a feller with, but he hasn't.”

Longfellow Remodeled.

•‘les. children,” said Mr. De Baggs, addressing a St. Louis Sunday-school, “yes, children, wrongdoing is always 4 punished, either in this world or in the next. Retribution may be long in coming, but it is sure to come at last. You, yourselves, when you grow older in years and experience, will learn how true the lines of Shakspeare: ‘“The mills of thegods grind slowly, But they get there just the same.” ’ —Boston Journal of Education.

Misery Lowen Company.

pfr jianguishmgly)—“l have been, hoping that you would in time come to regard me as your company.” She (bashfully)—“Company! What do -you mean by that?” He (courageously)— “Well, as your bean.” She (blushingly) —Oh! That's what company means.” He (smilingly)—“Yes. And if you consider me as your company I should, like to consider you as my misery.” She (wonderingly)—“Yoiir misery?” He (triumphantly)—“Yes; because, you know, misery loves company.” She (demurely)—“l see. We’ll admit, then, that you are company and I am misery. But don’t you think misery a very disagreeable name for a girl, and that it ought to be changed, say, to company?” Then he popped.— Boston Courier.